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Anyone else have this sorta conversation with their partner?
- Thread starter JMacBass65
- Start date
"What time do you start playing?" is a good one.
All I know is I gotta be there at [insert absurdly early load-in time], other than that I have NO IDEA
All I know is I gotta be there at [insert absurdly early load-in time], other than that I have NO IDEA
Exactly like conversations with my ex.
In my defense, this one bandleader would send out texts that lacked nearly every important detail and when I would ask 4 follow-ups he would maybe answer two if I was lucky.
(Sometimes it helps to know it you're playing outdoors in August in Texas...).
It got so frustrating when working with him I would just wait until the last minute so I could get the needed info from the other band members who had managed to get a detail or two each, but she always gave me crap for not knowing.
In my defense, this one bandleader would send out texts that lacked nearly every important detail and when I would ask 4 follow-ups he would maybe answer two if I was lucky.
(Sometimes it helps to know it you're playing outdoors in August in Texas...).
It got so frustrating when working with him I would just wait until the last minute so I could get the needed info from the other band members who had managed to get a detail or two each, but she always gave me crap for not knowing.
@KeithAlanK
I had a BL like that once. No longer due to the disjointed way info was passed down to the rest of us. I just finally gave up on the texts would always call him directly for straight poop. He would get annoyed with me because I would ask him about details on the gig which he would always neglect to confirm with the person hiring us. Yeah, I had to put that situation in my rear view mirror.
I had a BL like that once. No longer due to the disjointed way info was passed down to the rest of us. I just finally gave up on the texts would always call him directly for straight poop. He would get annoyed with me because I would ask him about details on the gig which he would always neglect to confirm with the person hiring us. Yeah, I had to put that situation in my rear view mirror.
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Not anymore but I feel you. I got to the point where I would give door time knowing it was 50/50 chance they might possibly make it in time for the set.
There are seven bits of info I need to book a gig, and I add them to the calendar. And you can’t really do a booking without knowing so it’s totally normal reasonable to share these with the client/agent when confirming a booking. Then share it with the rest of the people in the band.
1. Date
2. Venue (with address)
3. Load in time
4. Set times (approximate is fine)
5. Dress code
6. Gear
7. Pay
8. Set lists (with keys - not generally something I discuss with clients in detail but the others in the band need to know!!)
For a bonus, you can even get parking and access details.
Keeps stress low and avoids mishaps if everyone has this info. And… it’s all in the calendar so the wife can see whatever info she’d like - which is generally… none of the above!
1. Date
2. Venue (with address)
3. Load in time
4. Set times (approximate is fine)
5. Dress code
6. Gear
7. Pay
8. Set lists (with keys - not generally something I discuss with clients in detail but the others in the band need to know!!)
For a bonus, you can even get parking and access details.
Keeps stress low and avoids mishaps if everyone has this info. And… it’s all in the calendar so the wife can see whatever info she’d like - which is generally… none of the above!
regularly... its usually "when's your next gig?". If it's at the weekend then I know about it. If it's more than 5 days away I've got no idea. The band online-chat will pick up with details a few days before. Otherwise I've no idea.
Experience taught me to be happy if I can get in advance info for:
1. Venue with parking location
2. Sound check and gig start date/time
3. Set list, but often only list of yellow flags (songs rarely played, or song we haven't played for a long time)
The rest I can work out when I get there...
Ah the old bass player mushroom plan: keep them in the dark and feed them poopie!
BL: Ok...Be at the venue by 7:00. And don't wear shorts this time!
Me: We have a gig?
Me: We have a gig?
My spousal conversations are more like this:
Wife: We're going up to see the grandkids on Saturday.
Me: I have a gig.
Wife: It's not on the calendar.
Me: Yes, it is. I'm sure.
Wife, No, it's not. Look.
Not on the calendar. Doh!
Wife: We're going up to see the grandkids on Saturday.
Me: I have a gig.
Wife: It's not on the calendar.
Me: Yes, it is. I'm sure.
Wife, No, it's not. Look.
Not on the calendar. Doh!
Nice checklist. I’d include staging areas for unloading and parking arrangements with the load-in time.
My S.O. rarely comes to gigs. Maybe once a year. I think she mostly wants to know when I'm playing so she won't have to deal with me being under foot! 
It's OK, though. I'm not a big fan of hanging out where she works, either - HS teacher.
BBB
It's OK, though. I'm not a big fan of hanging out where she works, either - HS teacher.BBB
Relatable.
At some point after I transitioned from pro to hobbyist I decided to stop sending out invites, and just share a public calendar with anyone who shows an interest in future gigs. Makes it easier for people to opt out if they're no longer interested, or to stay up to date in case of changes/cancellations.
So now I occasionally have someone tell me "I see you're playing this and that on Friday", and I'm slowly learning to actually check my calendar before blurting out "Well that's news to me!" only to discover that they know my schedule better than I do
At some point after I transitioned from pro to hobbyist I decided to stop sending out invites, and just share a public calendar with anyone who shows an interest in future gigs. Makes it easier for people to opt out if they're no longer interested, or to stay up to date in case of changes/cancellations.
So now I occasionally have someone tell me "I see you're playing this and that on Friday", and I'm slowly learning to actually check my calendar before blurting out "Well that's news to me!" only to discover that they know my schedule better than I do
It's great when your partner takes an interest, mine usually comes to gigs. We do have to coordinate things since we share our 1 car.
"What time do you start playing?" is a good one.
All I know is I gotta be there at [insert absurdly early load-in time], other than that I have NO IDEA
Yeah...I mean, I get the details when the BL books me.......I put it in the calendar, but then I promptly forget about it if its booked well in advance. Usually I get a setlist about 10 days out that reminds me. Either that, or my woman brings it up. LOL!
Relatable.
At some point after I transitioned from pro to hobbyist I decided to stop sending out invites, and just share a public calendar with anyone who shows an interest in future gigs. Makes it easier for people to opt out if they're no longer interested, or to stay up to date in case of changes/cancellations.
So now I occasionally have someone tell me "I see you're playing this and that on Friday", and I'm slowly learning to actually check my calendar before blurting out "Well that's news to me!" only to discover that they know my schedule better than I do
Oh yeah......I have given the occasional blank stare when someone mentions "I'll see you at your gig next Sat". SMDH!!
Well, my wife (who I am separated from) took little to no interest. My GF though does. So this convo has happened more than once.
This would happen with an old bandleader of mine:
Me: "What time is the gig on Friday?"
Him: "It's all on my Facebook events page."
Me: "What time is the gig on Friday?"
Him: "It's all on my Facebook events page."
