Anyone thought about giving up music?

[TagoMago]

post removed due to user privacy

 

[bobba66]

Yes. My hands are all jacked up and if I can't get them fixed I'm selling my bass stuff.

 

[N. Kentucky Bass]

Giving up music as a profession is different from giving up an avocation. I would guess most people on TB are in the latter category.

 

[Mike JV]

I'm now 66 and the only thing I gave up was the "dream" about 36 years ago. Gave it my all from the time I was 17 until 30 when my son was born. Pretty much quit playing all together because I wanted to be daddy. No regrets. Started playing again after my divorce in 1993 and played in a weekend cover band from 1994 through 1996. Started learning guitar in 2006 and by 2008 I was writing and recording my own songs just for fun and to prove to myself that I could do it. My only gig since 2009 has been playing bass at church but I seem to be on guitar more these days. That's more than enough for me.

Sure, there were plenty of times when I thought about throwing it all away but it always has a way of finding you again. Or rather, you find it again. What you do with it and to what degree is up to you. The only difference between way back then and now is that the priorities have changed. I'm not competing with anybody, just doing it for myself and am trying to do it the best I can. May possibly retire later this year and I would love to get back into writing again because I've got a ton of little ideas. But it would be just for me with no illusions of grandeur.

Hey, it sure beats sitting around rotting in front of a TV all night!!

Best of luck to you!

 

[Ironbar]

My life experience has been radically different from yours. I always wanted to be a husband, father, and live the American Dream as it is. Regardless of what your path leads you to career-wise, I'd NEVER tell you to give up music.

 

[BassChuck]

My point of view is simply this. There are people who are born musicians. That is, people for whom playing and having music in their life is not an option. There are basically two choices, find a way to make music pay enough that you can survive with it (playing any genre of music, doing anything that requires musical knowledge/experience) or, finding a way to fit music in your otherwise non-musical life.

 

[LBS-bass]

I did it. Played professionally for a decade between the ages of 18 and 29, walked away from it at 30 and tried my best to become a normal person with a regular life and a "real job." The problem was that, when you have music in your blood the way I do, you can never be that normal person.

I spent many years sticking my toes in and then out again, played and/or sang for one or two years here and there with some great players, but never made it a profession again. I'm 60 years old now and finally figured out a few years ago that I just have to play as much as I can if I'm going to be happy. So I'm doing my best to make up for lost time, but I shouldn't have let it go for so long. If it's what you love, you'll regret stopping one day, I promise you.

 

[N. Kentucky Bass]

Sometimes it's circumstances that hamstring you into reevaluating the way you "do" music. My gigging days appear to be over and that's not helped by getting older, living in a rural area with few playing opportunities and few places to gig, and so forth. All that's rehashed many times here. My "performances" are happening in a different way now, via music creation with MIDI and production of web videos for my writing business. Lots and lots of time creating the music with different instrumental voice. Baby steps with a controller as I'm not a pianist. It's a big new world and it's the way most people consume music now so I'm OK with the personal change. It's extremely different from the old days of playing bass in a band performance to a live audience. I regret that passage, but in some ways I'm more engaged musically than ever before. And the "result" is permanent and available to anyone in the world -- provided YouTube doesn't shut down. Your perspective on available options can make all the difference in how you answer the question: "Have I ever thought about giving up music?" Can't imagine my answer would ever be "Yes."

 

[geeza]

Music isn't something you do, it's something you are

 

[Michedelic]

Only when music gives up on me.

 

[JRA]

had thoughts about giving up music either in your early years or presently?

no, can't say i ever have...

There are people who are born musicians.

Music isn't something you do, it's something you are

i happen to be a proud father and grandfather (i know 'family living') but i also know that i've traded big chunks of life for music. i'm afraid that of all the things i'd choose to do over again, if i could: music isn't one of them. i've got 60+ years into the music thing. and even though it can hurt at times (in so many ways!) it has always been my compass.

good luck, OP, as you evaluate your relationship with the mistress!

 

[zontar]

Giving up music as a profession is different from giving up an avocation. I would guess most people on TB are in the latter category.

Music isn't something you do, it's something you are

For some of us it is.
I've never had a career gigging (I did teach guitar & bass for number of years--primarily guitar)
But I keep playing.
I love it.
It's in me & it's got to come out.

 

[Killed_by_Death]

Not sure why folks in Louisiana are considered plastic.

 

[Passinwind]

If you've taken the time to read all this, have any of you had thoughts about giving up music either in your early years or presently? And if you did have these thoughts and got past them, what did you do to overcome them?

For me, playing music has pretty much always been secondary to the electronics repair side and also doing live production work. But there was about a 20 year stint where I also did gig pretty regularly. In the last couple of years I've bailed on all of that and just concentrated on electronics design work. To me it's just another facet of the music business, one that happens to keep me around the l most talented and fun cast of characters for the moment. So I guess my best advice is to adapt and evolve. Nothing wrong with just taking a break either, but I've found that to often close a few doors more than I might have expected, FWIW.

 

[Bodeanly]

Music isn't something you do, it's something you are

This. If you don’t feel this, then there’s really nothing for you to quit anyway.

 

[Chicory Blue]

For you to have achieved everything you have and still be so young is pretty incredible.

I can't begin to tell you what's best for you or guess what you need, but I do hope you realize how much you've already accomplished.

--^@

 

[buldog5151bass]

Making a career in music requires both skill and luck, and the pool spots available continues to shrink. Consider looking for an opportunity you like, but don't put all your eggs in that basket, unless you are willing to compromise on the opportunities you pursue.

 

[DirtDog]

I’m a weekend warrior at best but I’ve been playing music for almost 40 years in some capacity or another.

I’ve outright quit, sold my gear and walked away from it twice - once in my late teens and again in my late 20s. Well, I always had at least an acoustic guitar in the house.

I guess I’ve just got music in my blood because I came back to it for a third time in my mid 30s and been at it steady since then.

I regretting quitting both those earlier times so I don’t think I’ll quit a third time.

 

[ugly_bassplayer]

Every day for the last 25 years.

 

[two fingers]

Here's a little background for where I'm at. Started out as a classically trained pianist, switched to bass around age 11 and by the time I was 13 I was gigging on bass heavily. Blues gigs all through high school, active in the high school jazz band, transcribing Jaco and Jamerson and pretty much anything else that interested me or excited me (regardless of genre), you get the picture. All through this I was also fronting my own blues band that was on the verge of getting on talk shows and some pretty heavy blues festivals but stage parents of some of the other members started to take over the project and the whole thing fell apart.

Fast forward to college. I get a full academic scholarship to the local university (30,000 people roughly) excited to finally find some mature like minded people who also wanted to be challenged but who also cared deeply about creating music and performing on stage. I would shed on my instrument in practice rooms for hours at a time with a practice amp and constantly seek people out to try to jam. The crazy thing was, everyone in the university didn't want to jam or experiment with creating music. Without charts in front of these players, they had no confidence, no ability to sit in with others organically, they spent all their time in fear of professors and nailing their recitals or focusing on their classes to the point where they never played or performed outside of the university or university sponsored composition recitals and events.

It was so antithetical to what I thought college was supposed to be that it got me into a pretty dark place. To deal with it, I put myself in the local scene even more hustling however I could to get gigs. As a high schooler I was subbing with a funk/soul band (middle aged and late 20s players) and as luck turned out, I wound up getting the gig full time after my first year of college.

So I dropped out of college willingly, giving up my full scholarship to pursue the dream. I toured with this band for a few years, worked with some Grammy winning producers in the studio, mostly touring in the midwest and down south while doing some pretty major music festivals in the summers. There was heavy interest from top booking agencies and record labels with a likelihood of being on the late night talk shows within a few months of the newest album's release. Long story short, the BL was an addict and an abusive person both physically and psychologically. These sorts of behaviors drove all the good interest away and over time I left the band. The band is still going on but with no original members minus the BL and are more or less a local has-been.

Shortly after this, I found some like minded people in my area to do an R&B project with. Within a year the thing went from a coffee shop gig to the talk of the town. The response to this gig was great, the bandmates became my best friends, it was a wonderful experience musically and socially. Start doing the record, singer starts developing a massive ego. Between the singer's family getting involved with band management and overstepping boundaries, the project as it currently existed fell apart and I lost the people who not only were a part of the musical project I had the most fun with, but who were my best friends.

This led me to take a year hiatus from music. Worked numerous odd jobs, hated every minute of it, and decided to get back into music by auditioning for cruise ship gigs. Within not even 24 hours of sending in my audition tape, got a pretty solid paying corporate Motown/R&B cover gig. Did this for a year, and found the cruise ship life to be psychologically draining and leaving you with this feeling that you are wandering aimlessly through life as opposed to doing something with purpose. That gig is always there, but frankly, it's hard for me to want to go back due to the high level of stress within the environment. Plus, the quality of musicianship within the corporation had been dropping to where drummers were getting replaced frequently as they were often gospel chops kind of players that spent all their time focusing on licks but couldn't keep a steady groove for 8 bars.

So here's where I'm at now. I'm in my 20s, getting into synthesizers and production pretty heavily, and am unsure of whether or not chasing music is futile or if maybe i need to switch gears from bass into synths and production and try to make that my focus. I had been looking at moving to one of the big 3 (NYC, LA, Nashville) but the cost of living was terrifying. The plastic sort of lifestyle of LA focusing on image and social media content (looking at you jammcard) is a hard sell for me, Nashville doesn't seem to have as much opportunity when it comes to jazz, R&B, funk, the very styles of music I want to play, and NYC from what I gather is now so expensive that even your mid tier players who are working all the time there playing gigs are struggling to pay the bills or going into debt.

If you've taken the time to read all this, have any of you had thoughts about giving up music either in your early years or presently? And if you did have these thoughts and got past them, what did you do to overcome them?

Go back to school and play music for joy. If you got academic scholarships before, you should be able to get some help again.

From now on, just play music that brings you joy. If that helps you "make it big", fine. If not, find your OTHER place in life and do music for joy.

I managed to make a living (more or less) for a couple decades playing music. I was not so narrow in the genres I like to play so that helped. (I like all kinds of music... even music most find to be "cheesy".) I find that playing with the right PEOPLE makes music more fun that playing the right MUSIC. Find the PEOPLE who will help you make joyful music. Be picky. Turn down people who don't get you off (figuratively speaking).

These days, I am a father and husband with a day job. Music is just for fun (although I won't do it for free other than charity.... but that's me). I have found four people who became pretty much family overnight. We love each other. We have fun. We get our families together even when we're not playing. I found my OTHER place in life. And now music just brings me joy.

You buried yourself in music. Now bury yourself in people. Make music a fun PART of your life..... not your whole life.

Just my take. I hope you find a happier place either way.