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argh! Band Rant, wtd?

M

MusicMan810

Apr 2, 2008
70
0
#1
So I play in four peice alt rock band. We were all once a part of a 6 peice band that eventually broke up. So we went on little hiatus and then started writing new songs for the new band. We had a master plan of recording before we gig so we can have some material presentable to get gigs and we could be able to make a little cash off a cd. I had a deal with a buddy to record in his pro tools home studio. That didnt come through as fast as we would like so we used our lil' 8 track recorder. So we get our new demo done and I had a lead on a gig at a nice club.

Heres the problem:
I check with the guys to see if they can play the show and I get a message back from our drummer saying that he had plans for that day. He couldnt change his plans and he didnt say what it was, so I am assuming it is something really stupid. If its something important, I would be understanding. He is married with a wife that seems to demand all of his time. We practice only once a week and he's canceled that on us before. And when we do practice he gets phone calls constantly and im guessing all it is.... when are you going to be home? But we had a great chance to play our first gig and he cant do it. We have practice tonight and I think we will have to ask if he really has time for the band. If not, we will have to look for new drummer. Hes probably the most talented in the band, nobody wants him gone but we may have to.
 
#3
im guessing all it is....
Click to expand...
You seem to be guessing a lot.
Ask him.
His priorities might be different than the rest of the guys - better to get that sorted out up front rather than having it as a background resentment.

As was put in another thread - "mindreading is not a musical talent. ask him."
 
#5
I get crap from other band members all the time about me being a cold, hard boss even though I joined this band and all the others are founding members (so basically, I'm not their boss at all).

Why ? Because they had no direction and no rules and I brought structure to a group that had the necessary commitment to progress but no timetable, practice schedule, material, anything. They had potential but no goals or ways to get there.

You seem to have the opposite problem with your drummer: he might not have his priorities right (for you, at least) to function in your band's context. You have gigs lined up and a demo: many bands don't make it that far and needed commitment will probably only increase in the future. Talk to him and find a new drummer if he can't pull his weight.
 
#6
We were going to have a talk with him after practice last night. So we get to the spot and hes not there. Then we get a text message saying Im not feeling so hot, i drank too much last night and wanted to reschedule. He is the most responsible of all of us in the band and it justs weird for that excuse. We should be practicing more than once a week anyways, and its hard enough to get him there for that one day. For everything we had planned in the last month or two, he pretty much canceled everything or tried to reschedule. The band has been together for over 7 months and we havnt played a gig yet. We are absolutely going nowhere in the band. On top of all that he is leaving for Puerto Rico for a months pretty soon. Is think its pretty much over for him unless he really shows he will put in the time.
 
#7
kesslari said:
You seem to be guessing a lot.
Ask him.
His priorities might be different than the rest of the guys - better to get that sorted out up front rather than having it as a background resentment.

As was put in another thread - "mindreading is not a musical talent. ask him."
Click to expand...


Its obvious he has higher priorities than the band. Sure Im not asking him to give up everything in his life but he has to be able to practice twice a week and gig about 2 or 3 times a month. It just seem like he has too much in his life for the band. Why should we have to schedule everything for the band around his own personal schedule?
 
#9
jomahu said:
you shouldn't. so talk to him.

it sucks if he leaves, but it sounds like it will suck even more if y'all continue this way.
Click to expand...

Yeah its going to suck either way. If we stay with him, things will be the same and if we find a new drummer we need to work with them for a while. So either way it will take some time. We even talked about making a whole new experimental band without a drummer and making our own loops.
 
#10
MusicMan810 said:
For everything we had planned in the last month or two, he pretty much canceled everything or tried to reschedule. The band has been together for over 7 months and we havnt played a gig yet.
Click to expand...

OK, now the full context of the problem is becoming clear: Not only is he not making himself available, he hasn't been making himself available for a quite awhile already.

This a major red flag. I'm surprised you hadn't reached this conclusion many weeks ago... :hmm:

If the guy's head was really into the band, this problem would never have surfaced in the first place. Definitely you should have "the talk" with him ASAP. But even more immediately, I would start to discreetly put out feelers to other drummers. Sorry, but it doesn't look hopeful... :rollno:

MM
 
#11
Last night after he canceled, he sent out a text that said we should use our video we made of our recording process and put music to the back of it and try to set up selling mp3's off our myspace. What good does either of those two do if we are not playing out anywhere. Who's going to pay attention and buy stuff from a band that they have no idea who they are?
He just acts like he wants to do so much with the band but at the same time has no time for anything. I think its just because hes our friend that he doesnt want to tell us that he doesnt want to do it anymore. But its going to be just as hard to tell a friend that we're no longer going to allow him to hold us back anymore.
 
#13
In my old band we had a similar issue with one of the guitarists, only he made it to gigs and practices (for the most part, he was usually last to practice, first to leave and usually had "social events" on days we needed to get together before a gig.) His problem was he put in NO time to go over material on his own. He constantly made the same mistakes, forgot songs, had incorrect tones, etc. He wasn't a strong guitarist to begin with.

We didn't up and kick him out, we just made it clear we wanted to go a certain direction, and he knew he couldn't keep up so he backed out.

Call the guy and talk to him. You're both adults (I presume), so be straight with him. Ask him flat out, can he fit time for the band in his schedule? No one in their right mind would fault him or anyone else for making time for family, so make sure he knows that. If he can't fit time, or keeps making promises he can't keep, he probably needs to go.
 

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