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Band is driving me nuts with last minute changes...

G

glocke1

Supporting Member
Apr 30, 2002
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5,021
PA
#1
Vent...

I generally try not to create a lot of drama (or any drama) for that matter..It's generally pointless and is non-productive, but this current band Im in is putting me on the short train to nutsville.

B/L books us for an afterparty for a concert. I just assumed it would be a start time around 11 or midnight..Nope..It's a multi band event and we were given a 2 am to 4 am time slot lol. A couple of us complained and the B/L reluctantly got us moved to the midnight slot. The show is in a sketchy part of town also (basically an all night warehouse party)

The setlist for this show was mailed out on tuesday of this week, I asked for it by last weekend as during the week I just simply have very little time to go over anything new they want to play and lo and behold, there were a couple of new tunes in the list, so I took today off from my day job to work on them. Just now finished working on them and the B/L decides he wants to switch them with something different...

I love playing, but between the "we don't need to rehearse" mentality present in this band, booking sketchy gigs like this and throwing tunes out at the last minute its driving me crazy.

A lot of that is on me I realize, I generally like to do tunes well, and bring them in memorized if possible. These guys are more or less jammers and will just jam through tunes with the chord charts in front of them.

I'm going to have to say something, and I suspect it won't go over well..

sigh...
 
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#3
glocke1 said:
I love playing, but between the "we don't need to rehearse" mentality present in this band, booking sketchy gigs like this and throwing tunes out at the last minute its driving me crazy.

A lot of that is on me I realize, I generally like to do tunes well, and bring them in memorized if possible. These guys are more or less jammers and will just jam through tunes with the chord charts in front of them.

I'm going to have to say something, and I suspect it won't go over well..

sigh...
Click to expand...
Wow, that sucks! It would bug me too. I don't know about your particular band but I suspect this unprofessional mentality is why so many groups are mediocre.

And he booked a 2:00 AM time slot without consulting the rest of you?
 
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#6
That kind of behavior is deal breaker for me - I quit a band over similar, but much less egregious behavior from BL. I need X amount of time to prep/organize for gig and like most of us need to coordinate it with the crap that is considered my "real" life. I don't need the BL making my life any more stressful than it already is.

I would definitely say something. You really can't whine too much if you didn't give them a chance to make you happy. Don't be dramatic about it simply state that you don't have time to prepare new songs with that little lead time: please stick to the original plan.

If it falls on deaf ears or becomes drama, that's my cue: fulfill my commitment and wave goodbye. And in this kind of thing, I'd let him know I was leaving right after my last committed show or right when he asks me to commit to another - basically as little notice as possible without being a complete Richard about it.
 
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#7
Nashrakh said:
Bands book gigs without checking with me exactly once.

It seems to me they're an ill fit for you, as well. No other options for you available? People driving me crazy is one of the number one reasons I leave bands.
Click to expand...

A band can book a gig without telling me. Assuming I'll be available is a sucker's bet.
:D
 
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#8
glocke1 said:
A lot of that is on me I realize, I generally like to do tunes well, and bring them in memorized if possible. These guys are more or less jammers and will just jam through tunes with the chord charts in front of them.

I'm going to have to say something, and I suspect it won't go over well..

sigh...
Click to expand...

You've just sort of described my life, only in my case it's one member who thinks it's a jam band, three other members who do their work but do nothing to keep the band organized, and me who is doing the work and trying to create ways for the work to get done effectively by others, which is generally seen as me being too pushy overall. Well, if someone else would make up a GD practice list once in a while instead of waiting until a week before the gig to push out 40 tunes, I wouldn't need to be so pushy.

In my case, I don't know what I'm going to do. We've tried a lot of things to coax the one member to step up his game, which isn't really working. He's our primary songwriter, so we can't just get rid of him without dramatically changing the focus of the band. And I love playing and working with all the other players, but I feel as though this one thing is getting to be more than I want to deal with. So I will probably give it a few more months and then split. Maybe the rest of them will also split and we can form something good from the ashes. Who knows?
 
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#9
LBS-bass said:
You've just sort of described my life, only in my case it's one member who thinks it's a jam band, three other members who do their work but do nothing to keep the band organized, and me who is doing the work and trying to create ways for the work to get done effectively by others, which is generally seen as me being too pushy overall. Well, if someone else would make up a GD practice list once in a while instead of waiting until a week before the gig to push out 40 tunes, I wouldn't need to be so pushy.

In my case, I don't know what I'm going to do. We've tried a lot of things to coax the one member to step up his game, which isn't really working. He's our primary songwriter, so we can't just get rid of him without dramatically changing the focus of the band. And I love playing and working with all the other players, but I feel as though this one thing is getting to be more than I want to deal with. So I will probably give it a few more months and then split. Maybe the rest of them will also split and we can form something good from the ashes. Who knows?
Click to expand...
I left my previous band because the BL was not prompt with gig lists and would NOT relinquish control - I would have been happy to do the work for him to get what I (and others) needed. I got handed MD duties in my current band after the LG who was doing that left. And I'm fine with that - as long as the guys are doing their homework. We had a rehearsal a couple weeks ago that made me seriously consider walking because the guys didn't really know their parts and we sounded like a pretty bad garage band - on stuff we've already played out! But I think it was bad enough to open their eyes, because rehearsals have gotten much better since. I suppose the pressure of a pending gig doesn't hurt the motivation either.

It has been a little tough as we're working with a sub LG for the upcoming gig while auditioning for a replacement AND then working with him a little when the sub is not available - continuity has been tough since each guy brings different feel and skill set to the picture.

The BL is still the enforcer regarding calling guys out for lack of preparedness, although I did do some "we HAVE to do our homework guys" harping after that really poor showing.

I'm a bit of a control freak and the "voice of reason", so rehearsals are all very structured and we do work on stuff and not just go through the motions. Rehearsal lists for the next rehearsal are set up immediately following a rehearsal and set lists have ben posted several weeks ahead of our pending gig. BL is very happy to not be managing this effort and I don't mind - I get the organization I want.

Regarding your "jam" guy, I think you guys need to have a non-playing meeting and talk about this - doesn't sound like everyone's on the same page and this will eventually lead to somebody bailing unless you all come to an agreement. Maybe you work it out so that you do have "jam" rehearsals every once in a while to appease his need to do that - as long he's willing to be ready for rehearsals that are more structured? Just a thought.

To tie this back to the OP's need, I guess the relevance is that I was willing to step up and take control of something that was bugging me.
 
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#10
LBS-bass said:
You've just sort of described my life, only in my case it's one member who thinks it's a jam band, three other members who do their work but do nothing to keep the band organized, and me who is doing the work and trying to create ways for the work to get done effectively by others, which is generally seen as me being too pushy overall. Well, if someone else would make up a GD practice list once in a while instead of waiting until a week before the gig to push out 40 tunes, I wouldn't need to be so pushy.

...
Click to expand...

I don't consider this as being pushy. This is being proactive. We have one member of my band that creates the lists and I'm happy about it. Keeps us focused for the next show.

LOL, and yes in this band the rhythm section does the most upfront work music wise and is the most prepared leaning the songs. We are not a jam band but the other guys can be and tend to be a little looser. We - the rhythm section - are always there for them when they come back. Usually they are not even aware of it. :cool:
 
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#11
glocke1 said:
Vent...

I generally try not to create a lot of drama (or any drama) for that matter..It's generally pointless and is non-productive, but this current band Im in is putting me on the short train to nutsville.

B/L books us for an afterparty for a concert. I just assumed it would be a start time around 11 or midnight..Nope..It's a multi band event and we were given a 2 am to 4 am time slot lol. A couple of us complained and the B/L reluctantly got us moved to the midnight slot. The show is in a sketchy part of town also (basically an all night warehouse party)

The setlist for this show was mailed out on tuesday of this week, I asked for it by last weekend as during the week I just simply have very little time to go over anything new they want to play and lo and behold, there were a couple of new tunes in the list, so I took today off from my day job to work on them. Just now finished working on them and the B/L decides he wants to switch them with something different...

I love playing, but between the "we don't need to rehearse" mentality present in this band, booking sketchy gigs like this and throwing tunes out at the last minute its driving me crazy.

A lot of that is on me I realize, I generally like to do tunes well, and bring them in memorized if possible. These guys are more or less jammers and will just jam through tunes with the chord charts in front of them.

I'm going to have to say something, and I suspect it won't go over well..

sigh...
Click to expand...

It's hard enough to make music with other people without having to put up with this kind of nonsense. "Jam through tunes with the chord charts in front of them"? Not for me, and obviously not for you, either.
 
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#12
oldrocker said:
I don't consider this as being pushy. This is being proactive. We have one member of my band that creates the lists and I'm happy about it. Keeps us focused for the next show.

LOL, and yes in this band the rhythm section does the most upfront work music wise and is the most prepared leaning the songs. We are not a jam band but the other guys can be and tend to be a little looser. We - the rhythm section - are always there for them when they come back. Usually they are not even aware of it. :cool:
Click to expand...
I don't either, but the problem member also seems to see himself as the defacto band leader, even though we're more or less democratically run. He writes most of our songs and books most of the gigs. So when someone like me decides to try to get us to focus, he seems to find that hard to deal with. It's at the point where I just do whatever I want to try to keep us going because I know that no matter what I do he'll find some reason to be unhappy.
 
#14
Bass Viking said:
Wow, that sucks! It would bug me too. I don't know about your particular band but I suspect this unprofessional mentality is why so many groups are mediocre.

And he booked a 2:00 AM time slot without consulting the rest of you?
Click to expand...


Well sort of. He asked us all for our availability for Friday the 27th, I assumed we would be the headliner (we typically are) and would be playing with a start time around midnight. ..than weeks later we were told our slot was for early morning on the 28th..At the time of booking Im not sure what time we'd hit the stage.




gln1955 said:
Likely not. When people don't see that there is anything wrong, they don't want to hear about change. You become the problem. Start looking for like minded people to play with.
Click to expand...


No one in this band really sees anything wrong with the way things are. Some of those new tunes that were on this list for tonight were suggestions by the drummer and were songs he plays in his other band. Problem is the singer in THIS band doesn't sing them or know them and only saw fit to mention that this morning.

We aren't a bad band overall, but there are too many issues in the way of making us into a really good band and no one sees them or acknowledges them.

It'd be nice to find something different, but it was difficult enough finding this band...
 
#17
glocke1 said:
...so I took today off from my day job to work on them. Just now finished working on them and the B/L decides he wants to switch them with something different...
Click to expand...
When a band is costing you via missed pay or squandered PTO, it's time to give them the heave-ho. But know that you're not alone – I quit two different bands over the exact same situation. Good luck.
 
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#20
I was in a band like that once. Not anymore and never again. Band I was in would also call out random stuff we had never rehearsed (when we did rehearse). They'd also have their friends join us on stage play songs their friends know and occasionally turn to me and say, its cool if they use your bass, right? NEVER AGAIN!
 
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