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Band member communication - what are reasonable response times?

What is reasonable response time for band members to email,text or phone message?

  • 12-24 hrs.

    Votes: 42 77.8%

  • 2-3 days

    Votes: 7 13.0%

  • over 4 days

    Votes: 1 1.9%

  • carrot

    Votes: 4 7.4%
  • Total voters
    54
E

edpal

Inactive
Oct 3, 2007
1,955
1,441
66
#1
Each band I've been in in last decade seems to have this problem - some people respond usually within 24 hrs. or less to texts, emails and phone messages. At the other extreme are those who seem to think it is not unusual if they don't contact you back for 4-5 days. I'm in the first group so I am :confused::mad::crying::bawl::scowl::spit::confused::help:

Your thoughts are requested for clarity and possibly some comfort.

My extreme story - drummer(25 yrs ago) inherited about $40k. He bought a new drum kit and a small pickup truck. He then disappeared for 3 weeks. Apparently him and one or two of our FOB people were holed up in a hotel, only leaving for cocaine,booze, weed, carryout and strippers.
 
#2
Depends where a band is at.
If you're gigging/recording/writing songs that are going somewhere a few times a week then it's a few hours response time.
If you're jamming once a week with no gigs on the books, 1-2 days.
If there's no gigs in the foreseeable future and rehearsals are slap happy on timing and merit, maybe a little longer.

Thread needs context so I voted carrots.
 
#3
I expect responses within 24 hours.

I have never done drugs and think strippers are a waste of time and money. I used to drink a lot when I was younger and still enjoy a few beers on the weekend and occasionally at a gig but I won't even consider playing with people who do drugs of any kind. The drummer would have been better off investing the money.
 
#6
edpal said:
Each band I've been in in last decade seems to have this problem - some people respond usually within 24 hrs. or less to texts, emails and phone messages. At the other extreme are those who seem to think it is not unusual if they don't contact you back for 4-5 days. I'm in the first group so I am :confused::mad::crying::bawl::scowl::spit::confused::help:

Your thoughts are requested for clarity and possibly some comfort.

My extreme story - drummer(25 yrs ago) inherited about $40k. He bought a new drum kit and a small pickup truck. He then disappeared for 3 weeks. Apparently him and one or two of our FOB people were holed up in a hotel, only leaving for cocaine,booze, weed, carryout and strippers.
Click to expand...

And he didn't call you.

I can see how that would be frustrating.
 
#8
Kmonk said:
I expect responses within 24 hours.

I have never done drugs and think strippers are a waste of time and money. I used to drink a lot when I was younger and still enjoy a few beers on the weekend and occasionally at a gig but I won't even consider playing with people who do drugs of any kind. The drummer would have been better off investing the money.
Click to expand...

Back then that would have been a big down payment on a house.

Or it would have been closer to 200K if invest wisely.
 
#12
If I need to get in touch with a band-mate, I'll spell it out in an email, if it's urgent I shoot them a txt to tell them to check their email, if it's an emergency I call them - but we're all down with paying simple respect and being available to each other.

You shouldn't have to wait more than 24 hours, especially if you've tried calling.
 
#13
Depth_Charge said:
Depends where a band is at.
If you're gigging/recording/writing songs that are going somewhere a few times a week then it's a few hours response time.
If you're jamming once a week with no gigs on the books, 1-2 days.
If there's no gigs in the foreseeable future and rehearsals are slap happy on timing and merit, maybe a little longer.
Click to expand...

That's a reasonable and level-headed view.
 
#14
Kmonk said:
I expect responses within 24 hours.

I have never done drugs and think strippers are a waste of time and money. I used to drink a lot when I was younger and still enjoy a few beers on the weekend and occasionally at a gig but I won't even consider playing with people who do drugs of any kind. The drummer would have been better off investing the money.
Click to expand...
Bro - I was like 25 at time, decisions weren't as clear-cut. And of course I didn't play with the guy after that. I'm crazy, not stupid. It was a story. But thanks for the input.
 
#15
Depth_Charge said:
Oh and I guess 25 years ago there wasn't the plethora of communication technology there is today...
Click to expand...
It wasn't as good but we all had land-lines and lived within 4-5 miles of each other. My story wasn't really an example of bad communication - that dude cut the telephone poles down and snipped up the wire.

Laying in bed this morning talking with my wife I realized that some of my turmoil over this is I'm expecting other people to work on the same basis I do. I'll try to remain calm on my current situation but will only stretch so far. One person is definitely gonna get some "what is up with this" boot-in-the-rear from me....last two weeks have been totally wasted while another guy was out of town for work.

Bawana - fyi, you're being ignored via list.
 
#17
A gig can be had or lost within an hour. I get frustrated if I don't hear back within a few hours.



...and on the druggie note, I just don't have time for people with substance abuse problems anymore. WAY too much drama. But hey, if the guys in your band want to use that whole 'creativity comes from drugs' rhetoric, you have at 'er. Let me know when your famous.
 
#18
edpal said:
It wasn't as good but we all had land-lines and lived within 4-5 miles of each other. My story wasn't really an example of bad communication - that dude cut the telephone poles down and snipped up the wire.

Laying in bed this morning talking with my wife I realized that some of my turmoil over this is I'm expecting other people to work on the same basis I do. I'll try to remain calm on my current situation but will only stretch so far. One person is definitely gonna get some "what is up with this" boot-in-the-rear from me....last two weeks have been totally wasted while another guy was out of town for work.
Click to expand...
Years into bands I also realised that my own expectations were often the source of turmoil. Rather than expect and drive change to suit my needs (which never worked out well), I chose to start scoping out for people with similar agenda's or managing my expectations better. Sure, some gigs were lost and some points of view remained unsettled, but I didn't carry as much weight on my shoulders as a band leader either.
Good luck sorting it out :)
 
#19
At 10 o'clock this morning , I got a call to confirm a job we are playing this Saturday. This call came from our lead guitarist and was second hand to me from the BL. I was also informed that this will be the last gig our current drummer will be playing with us. We have known he would be leaving for a while. At 10:15 I called a drummer that I used to work with and left him a message. At 1:35 , he called me back. We talked a while and he said he wanted in. At 1:50 , I called the lead guitarist and gave him the good news. By 2:15 , the BL was made aware of this. At 3:15 (as soon as I got home) I e-mailed a set list to the new drummer. At 6:15 (about 15 minutes after he got home from work) he called me at my house , said he was good with the set list and I gave him our schedule. We were all at work while this was going on. This is the way it is supposed to work.
 
#20
sharkbait130 said:
At 10 o'clock this morning , I got a call to confirm a job we are playing this Saturday. This call came from our lead guitarist and was second hand to me from the BL. I was also informed that this will be the last gig our current drummer will be playing with us. We have known he would be leaving for a while. At 10:15 I called a drummer that I used to work with and left him a message. At 1:35 , he called me back. We talked a while and he said he wanted in. At 1:50 , I called the lead guitarist and gave him the good news. By 2:15 , the BL was made aware of this. At 3:15 (as soon as I got home) I e-mailed a set list to the new drummer. At 6:15 (about 15 minutes after he got home from work) he called me at my house , said he was good with the set list and I gave him our schedule. We were all at work while this was going on. This is the way it is supposed to work.
Click to expand...
Exactly.

I can't believe the number of people who commented that I was basically an ass for playing with a guy with a serious drug problem. HE didn't HAVE a visible drug problem until he got a chunk of money in his hands. It was a total surprise to me that he was a coke user. And the sanctimonious "let me know when you're famous" - come'on, lots of famous musicians are drug users. But I'm not saying they help to get there. Muttly - let me know when YOU make it.
 

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