band problemo

wrong forum brother try the "band management" forum

 

I wouldn't worry if I were you. Just remember:
You're only in middle school for a few years, then it's high school, where none of that middle school b.s. matters. After that, college, where none of that high school b.s. matters.

 

I'd tell the sweetheart who keeps talking down to you to kindly get bent, and shove his band where the son doesn't shine. Life's too short to put up with crap like that.

 

Unless you are in servitude I'm not sure why you are still in this band.

 

If there is one person who is a problem, get rid of that person! If it's his band, let him do it himself...the rest of you should do your own thing. It seems to me that this guy is in it only to have his ego stroked, not to make music!

 

Since you really didn't want to do it in the first place, why not quit? Sounds like typical prima donna lead guitarist to me. It doesn't matter how talented someone is if they can't play with other musicians. As he gets older he will either realize he's an a-hole or will wind up getting a MIDI setup so he can "collaborate" with non-human musicians. We've all dealt with these idiots. Since there is really nothing on the line, I would either kick him out, leave, or reform the band with your friends and get a guitarist that you all can get along with and have fun.

My best friend growing up was exactly like that. Brilliant keyboard player (and songwriter) as long as he was by himself. Cost me a huge, long-term gig with Neil Cloud (Rabbit, Trevor Rabin, Peter Frampton) because I brought him in. He pissed Neil off so badly the whole thing started falling apart. He would stay on his keys playing Keith Emerson licks while Neil was trying to discuss arrangements, etc. Always trying to impress, but when it came down to it he couldn't play even the simplest stuff because he never thought in context about anything. It was always about him. I haven't talked to him for 15 years. Last I heard he was delivering pizza and doing MIDI crap that nobody will ever hear. It's poetic justice, but kind of sad too.

Good luck and don't listen to people like him. He will tell everyone they suck as that raises his relative status in his own skewed opinion. He's obviously extremely insecure.

 

A good thing to learn early on is that you cannot control or change people. You can only control and change yourself.

If you are in a situation where another person is too much to deal with, you have the ability to choose to leave, choose to ignore him, choose to... But the bottom line is that you need to choose how you allow this person's behavior to impact you.

If I were in your shoes and was half way interested in the band, I'd simply tell him that I'll take his suggestions into consideration and thank him for his input. Then I'd do whatever the hell I felt like doing. If you keep letting his commentary roll off your back without any reaction or response other than, "Thanks! I'll take that into consideration!" - then you go about things your own way, eventually he'll either implode or figure out that he should keep his opinions to himself.

 

We used to have a saying in a cover band I played inmany moons ago..."You are a unique individual who brings his own unique experiences to the table, and you can never be duplicated...you can, however, be replaced!"

 

Walk, or sack the banjo player.

Your choice.

 

Your guitarist sounds like a putz, I wouldn't play with him.

 

Good luck dude and good for you for standing your ground. Whenever he decides to dump on you just crank up your amp all the way and tell him you can't hear what he is saying.

 

If he's a good player and you guys are getting along that's good. You want to play with the best musicians you can to elevate your playing. Just stand your ground. The fact he apologized quickly says a lot.

Good luck bro'!!