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Bandmate won't practice!

Gandrews

Gandrews

Sep 29, 2012
3
0
#1
Some friends and I started a ska band about a year ago. Don't laugh: We've come a long way in a year (we opened for Reel Big Fish last month).

I play my bass about an hour a day, and the rest of the band has improved considerably at their instruments. I think we sound pretty credible.

Except for one guy ...

As far as I know he's never once practiced his instrument, and he sounds like it. It's painful to listen to on stage.

I'd be terrified to be in that position (that might be why I practice so much), but he deals with it with alcohol.

I'm sick of the band sounding worse because of him, and I'm sick of working hard to make him sound better, and I'm sick of wasting time at practice working out his parts. He's friends with the rest of the band to the degree that they don't want to wreck his life by kicking him out. Personally, I don't care. How do I get five other people to want to kick out a band member just to improve our sound (without going to hell)?
 
#4
I recently, 2 weeks ago, quit a band for this very reason.

Your problem bandmate won't change. If he's not learning the material after a year, he's not going to start learning it now. No amount of pleading, cajoling, bribing, or threats, will change him.

But this problem isn't about him, it's about you. You have a decision to make:

  • Replace the problem
  • Live with the problem
  • Find another band
 
#10
rtav said:
We kicked out a founding member after he had stopped practicing ... it sucks, but you gotta do what you gotta do.
Click to expand...
Likewise in a band I used to be in. And I'm the one who showed him the door. You gotta do it. Just be ready to take a step backwards to integrate a new player in order to progress further.
 
#11
Wow!! DejaVu!!

Sounds like the band I just left.
You are correct, they will never change.
Even after the band took away his guitar playing privileges and told him to just sing his parts correctly, he just started showing up even more sloshed than ever.

I often wondered why he wanted to be in a band when he really didn't want to learn any music.
If you just need to get away from the wife and drink I have heard of these places called "bars" that do not require practice to gain entrance. ;<)
Just go there right?

I, much like the OP, would be terrified to be in that position.
I had to bail after reviewing a video I shot on my Q3 of our last gig at a rather upscale country club.
It was just embarrassing to watch him.
 
#12
Same boat. My band has been together for a year, yet the drummer admittedly never practices on his own time. He claims he doesn't need to because he plays several nights a week with other projects and open jams. That was the wrong answer. He doesn't have time to learn/master our material, but he has all the time in the world for side projects? The lack of effort shows up in our gigs. We need him this weekend (not enough time to break in a replacement), but after that he's gone.

As others have said, people don't change. Time to move on, one way or another.
 
#13
MysticMichael said:
And this was posted in the "Bassists" forum rather than in the "Band Management" forum because... ? :eyebrow:

MM
Click to expand...

... the OP is a noob. He joined 9/29 and grand total 2 posts so far. I'm sure he'll figure it out with a little time if we don't all scare him off.

Winfred said:
I recently, 2 weeks ago, quit a band for this very reason.

Your problem bandmate won't change. If he's not learning the material after a year, he's not going to start learning it now. No amount of pleading, cajoling, bribing, or threats, will change him.

But this problem isn't about him, it's about you. You have a decision to make:

  • Replace the problem
  • Live with the problem
  • Find another band
Click to expand...

Yep, there you have it. If the rest of the band doesn't take the music seriously enough to fire this person, it's not a band I would want to waste my time on. Put it to them straight; they can keep him or keep you, but not both.
 
#14
Thanks everyone. He plays trombone, not bass. I've got him on the record now about living up to some of his commitments to the rest of us. And I've found the better I get, the more sway I have in band matters, so I think the most productive thing I can do is worry about my own sound. But I'm not optimistic he'll change.

Yes, this thread probably belongs in "band maintenance." Yes, the reason I put it in the wrong place is because I'm new here and thus ignorant of your strange Talkbass ways.
 
#15
The words "won't practice" send me way off topic but here goes. Yes, It's halftime & I've now started the day!
My dad & I love to play golf together but haven't played all year. I've proposed a number of times that we get out before it's cold & he's said that he would go again next summer, for fear of embarrassment that we've not played in so long. My thought is that if he is always opting against that next round, he's effectively quit golf! And that's how I see your situation. I feel that playing music requires growth to remain fun (and primarily, fun for continued growth), otherwise, what's the point?
I'd be tempted to say it might be time for a vote. It's never a good situation in the moment but if a vast majority of you feel the same way, it might be a great step forward for you all.
 
#19
Me, a killer lead guitarist, and a killer keyboard player all left (at different times) my last band because the rhythm guitarist never practiced.

He was a founding member and wrote some cool riffs, but he couldn't play half of them. Now he's the lead player.
 

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