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Bands not progressing, what do I do??????

jady

jady

Jul 21, 2006
4,726
8
54
Modesto, CA
www.myspace.com
#1
Just played a gig last night at a bar in Livermore. Our female singer and male drummer/singer (they are married) were constsantly forgeting tunes!!!!! We have been playing some of these tunes for years and they constantly can't remember them, ***?!?!

I really cant understand how someone can consider themselves a pro musician if they constantly have to be asking the bassist how thier drum part goes, or have the singer not remember the form of the song!!!!!

The really disturbing part of all this is for the last year or so they have both been getting into meditation and all the Wayne Dyer "self help" material. It seems that since they started all that, their focus has been shot, and the intensity of their performance is gone. I dont know if the timing is a coincidence or if these two things are related (I personally think Wayne Dyer is full of crap, and I think that meditation just detaches you from reality instead of dealing with it).

I am a christian but I don't believe in judging others because they believe differently than I do. I just don't see all this working for them. If I saw it helping them, I would support them but it's not. (BTW, I don't give them any crap about it, we just dont discuss it very often)

I have been with this band for over 6 years and i can honestly say that I really love these people, they have been awsome friends, the best man and a bridesmaid at my wedding, and have helped me through some really rough times, however, I am finding myself less and less excited about the band over the last 6 months or so.

What do i do? I dont want to quit the band and I certainly dont want to jeopardize our friendship but we seemed to have plateaued in the bands developing.

This sucks!!!!!!!
 
#3
Try talking to them. Point out the problems at the last show. I would disregard their meditation stuff...it shouldn't have any bearing on their ability to play, or their commitment to the band.

I do find it frustrating if people forget their parts...singers especially, since I'm sorry, but they basically have the easiest parts in the band. Drummers are frustrating too, since they're relied on to drive the band. Ever played with a bad drummer at a show? It's like being stuck in a car with a drunk driver.
 
#4
TheDarkReaver said:
they've probably got into this dyer thing and neglected practising their instruments properly.

tell them to focus more if they want to continue the band.
Click to expand...

I agree, I dont think they really practice at all, Singing along with a cd recording of our rehearsal isnt really practicing to me

invader3k said:
Try talking to them. Point out the problems at the last show. I would disregard their meditation stuff...it shouldn't have any bearing on their ability to play, or their commitment to the band.


I also agree, whether ot not I agree with their spiritual practices, it is all about whether or not they are acting in a professional manner. I am worried about their spiritual path cuz they are 2 of my closest friends, but challenging their beliefs will do no good at all.

I guess I'm in for a really uncomfortable conversation.........I dont want to end up giving them an ultimatum but I honestly see that coming........:crying: :bawl:
Click to expand...
 
#5
Maybe it's time for some new material. Drop the stuff that is difficult to remember and replace with fresh stuff. Or maybe make medleys of some of the tunes... or change the style. Anything to make it different so mental attention has to be a little higher.

I doubt meditation is a problem. How about medication? Is that a problem?
 
#6
in my experience, most people who meditate on stuff (meaning of life, spirit world, etc.) aren't fit to be musicians. in my last band (when there were 4 of us and we were just 14 years old), our singer really got into that meditation stuff and his ability to 'sing' go worse. he wouldn't learn any covers, he only wanted to play songs written entirely by him, and he plagiarised the entire structure of one of social distortion's (i think that's the name) songs. but i agree with Invader3K, have a talk with them one day. people shouldn't forget their parts (unless they just made it yesterday and forgot to write it down).

you could always just get everyone to stop going to practices and shows- then get another band with some members of the old one. it's what i did.

edit: you could also play a lot of songs in a set in another key- that should take care of the singer. as for the drummer, change the beat every 30 seconds.
 
#8
Had a great friend, and a great drummer we has to give an ultimatum to because of his drinking. Frankly I could care less but when it effects the band, something has to be mentioned. We were there to perform a professional service for the club owners, it wasn't like a garage band playing at someone's house. One way to look at is that it is a job and a profession that needs to be treated professionally (if that's the goal). If your in it just for fun and some pocket change to pay for the hobby, that's great to, but keeping 'your' motives in check will also help. :)

Good luck!
 
#9
Number one rule for me....Dont play in a band with family members,no matter how distant the relationship.I've known plenty who have tried and practically all have failed.I feel relationships between band members can take the objectivity out of disputes and it becomes too personal.Especially if you're living with one of the problems!
 
#12
i dont think bein in a band with friends or family wil really do your band harm, infact it could make it better, coz you wont be scared to be put as much input as you want in songs and be as creative as you want, larry graham played music with his mam all the time, the chili peppers were all best mates when they started, the brothers johnson....were brothers etc
 
#13
Jady: it doesn't have to be confrontational or ugly. Just take them aside at the next rehearsal and say quietly and in a confidential sort of tone, "...Hey, by the way, you guys still into the music?"

To which they'll probably say, "Yah, why?"

And then the door's open.

And still in a conversational tone, just say stuff like "Well, I dunno, you seem like you're somewhere else sometimes is all."

That kind of thing. It can just be a gentle question in the same sort of friend-to-friend tone you'd normally have with them, and as they answer they'll either understand that there's a problem or you'll get a door opened to solve the problem. It can be amicable (sp?) either way.

Hope this helps.
 
#16
If you've got millions of bucks, you can afford to go your own private island to escape for a while if needed.The rest of us have to live much more simply in each others pockets.I'm not saying it CANT work, but unless fantastic success comes along, sibling disputes usually wreck the fun.

Ive seen two sets of brothers in different bands come to blows backstage after gigs.Not a good thing and the bands folded that night never to be seen again.It always seems to be something other than the music too.
 

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