After hearing about my friend Bijoux,who started the thread just below this one, having had the misfortune of watching somebody fall on his bass after a gig the other night, it started me thinking of some awful stories of horror involving basses of my own and others...feel free to chime in with your own. Maybe we can make him feel not qiute so bad. I've had two different human/bass collisions with members of the audience. Both of these were drunks falling directly on the basses tops. Both involved bridges going right thriugh the tops, including the bass bars. I've had three basses knocked off of piano benches. Unlike most of you guys I, myself, have been responsible for two bad ones. You see, I use to be a HEAVY drinker...I mean HEAVY. So, you guessed it...two complete neck amputations courtesy of Heineken beers with shots of Peppermint Schnapps. By the way, thank God i've never had anything serious happen to my present bass the Joseph Bohmann! The worst one was in the mid 60's when I was playing in Minneapolis with Buddy DeFranco. Being young and foolish, with an eye for the pretty girls, a situation arose for me after the gig and like an idiot I left my Jacobus Hornsteiner in the club. The next day, we were driving down the street and the local news came on informing us that " Herbs Bar was broken into, burgled and accidentally burned down by one of the burglers kicking over a butane torch that was used to open the clubs safe" All that was left of my bass was the neck, the back and the three bass side ribs. Unbelievably, I had the bass restored by a great British luthier name Christopher Maine who at the time was living in Denver. He used an old English top he had, rolled new ribs on the bass side and the instrument sounded BETTER than it did originally! Perhaps the most humorous accident I can recall happened to a nice Morelli bass owned by an old friend named Vern Byers who had a territory band back in the 50's. They, of course traveled around a four or five state area in a bus out of Denver and was loaded thusly: those old style folded music stands made of fiber board (very heavy) I think 12 0r 13. The drums,the chick singers wardrobe. everybody elses suitcases. All the musical instruments and then....the Morelli! Again, you guessed it...the driver rolled the bus. Nobody hurt seriously, but ALL that **** landed on the bass. It was so bad, they couldn't take it out of the case....it looked like a jig saw puzzle. Well, they had it fixed just in time for a trip to Arizona when whoever packed the bus, after loading the bass a can of gas was put next to the bass. Another accident, the result of which was a dropped cigarette on the gas can and whoosh! Bass on fire....they got it out of the bus in the desert and shot water on it. This time Vern only had to have it re-varnished a VERY DARK color. To my knowledge the bass is still alive in Las Vegas. And finally, a story that may or may not be true. I heard Dave Holland laid a fine Tyrolean bass on a loading dock in Tokyo while waiting for the arrival of a bullet train. Along came a through train @ about 100 MPH. True or not, the story says the bass was sucked up, and behind the train and the rest is history. If anybody can tell us if this is true or not, speak up. So, there ya go Bijoux...things could be worse, but when it happens to your baby, it seems unlikely. We'll all be hoping for a speedy recovery and with Bob Ross as your Doctor you couldn't ask for more!!