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Bassplaying and Babies

#61
Babies come first. Keeping your wife sane by sharing the baby time and care is right up there with that #1 priority.

Everything you do comes lower in priority, with earning a living topping that list...because you must.

Bass playing is somewhere down there around washing the car, unless it's how you earn your living, in which case see my first sentence.

You, Padawan, will learn of the demands on your time. You will also learn that you don't mind, because those little folks are important!
 
#63
As my kids get older, I've found that my playing has become less. I still manage some, but honestly after dealing with two teens, increased sales at work that have me working 6 to 7 days (that's a good thing, better than laid off), and so on, I find it hard to tolerate the "band" at times. They're nice guys, but I just don't have the energy to drag 2 tons of equipment out and then sit and debate which songs to go over. I find the quieter, two person jam to be much more enjoyable. I see the "5 man rock band" less and less when I contemplate what my future playing music looks like.
 
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#64
It really depends on the baby. My first kid was so much work there was no time for anything else. My second kid was kind of a breeze and slept through the night from a pretty early age. (no, it's not due to being a better parent, just having a different baby). I wrote a bunch of my own music and spent time working on someone else's album at his home studio, instead of gigging.
 
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#65
I played right through, I made sure to coordinate with my wife so that I didn't leave her in the lurch. I remember practicing material at low, low volume with my son tucked in his nip nap. You may have to modify your playing schedule but I don't there is any reason to completely stop playing.
 
#66
godofthunder59 said:
I played right through, I made sure to coordinate with my wife so that I didn't leave her in the lurch. I remember practicing material at low, low volume with my son tucked in his nip nap. You may have to modify your playing schedule but I don't there is any reason to completely stop playing.
Click to expand...

mine exactly. I've got 7yo and 4yo, I never stopped. maybe it was/eaiser as an instrumental trio to manage and all, rather than a 5 person rock band.

glad the OP came back years later!
 
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#68
My kids are 35, 40, 44 & 45! I played and partied thru the first three, never even changed a diaper. By the time the fourth was born I realized what a lucky man I am and what a great wife I have so all my non salt mine hours were devoted to her and the kids, the last one born was all mine poopy diapers, sleepless nights and all. All my equipment went into the closet for 8 years or so while I built up my career (even went back to school) and my family. I would not suggest this path to anyone. Your family needs to be number 1, there will be plenty of music time later, trust me.
 
#69
The cool thing is I get to share music with my kids as they grow up. When they were in diapers sleeping as infants I use to spin great records as they slept. Jazz, blues, great classic rock etc. Now they listen to good music and have appreciation of all genres.

As far as my playing....Yeah I am very rusty and in some ways starting over playing again. But maybe this time I can teach myself to play slap bass...Also You Tube has really come a long way since I stopped playing 8 years ago. Now there are all kinds of lessons to work on my chops again....LOL
 
#70
When my wife and I had our son almost 17 years ago ( :wideyed: ) I wasnt playing as much as I am now. But at the time I was hardcore into online flight simulators. I "flew" with folks all over the world. The dudes in Europe were several hours ahead of me, so when it was daytime there, it was the middle of the night here. We had our schedule worked out so I did the night shift and played my games while she did the day stuff. The yungin slept most of the time anyway. Had I been playing more, I would have used that time practicing.

Maybe i was just lucky with our kid, but I never understood the issue people seem to have that they are going to have the baby in their hands 24-7. To me it was when he got older, 4-5 and up that it got much more busy. I was a pretty hands on dad too.

This may sound awful, but I played a gig the night our son was born! He was born at around 5am, and I played a gig at 8 that night. :wacky:

You will find the time.

BnB
 
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#71
It's all about your priorities.

We have 3 kids, 24/21/15 now. When my wife was expecting our first I stepped down on the frequency of gigs but never stopped playing. Once the youngest was about 7 or 8 I started to play more frequently again, currently I play about twice a month in the summer and sometimes more than that during the school year. I have vacation time and we spend alot of time at our family cottage in the summer so that gets factored in as well.

I was lucky to be able to keep playing, and as my kids got older they thought it was cool that dad was in a band. They still do think it's cool and come to gigs as they can, depending on location and time of course.

My only advice, for what it's worth, is to communicate with your bride so you both know what the other's expectations are. If it means stepping back from gigging or even stopping it'll be worth it too.

Best of luck, hope it all works out for you and your new family.
 
#72
First off, congratulations. Your life is gonna change, and be different, and there will be added stress, but there are so many awesome things about being a dad.

There are changes you'll need to make, and sacrifices, but as long as you approach it as a team effort with your wife, there will be no problems. I actually had one of my busiest gig years when my daughter was less than a year old (joined a new band when she was six months old). An important thing to realize is that both you and your wife still need time away from the chaos to recharge and be yourselves, and for me, getting away for rehearsals and gigs helped get me through a challenging year as I learned to be a dad.

Just last week, my daughter (who is six) was able to go to her very first show, and it was a show I was playing at. I can't describe what it was like to look out there during my set and see her dancing. Best feeling in the world.

So, good luck, and YES. You can absolutely do both.
 

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