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Bassplaying and Babies

#21
Count on not playing very much until you have a very good, very reliable babysitting network built up. And you need to start buildng it *now*.

I didn't play out again until my youngest was 4, but being Mama is different than being Daddy. Daddy can get out and play more. Not fair, but just a fact of life. Which is why I worked hard to get my kids potty-trained *fast*! LOL!

Seriously...a good babysitting network will keep you playing. Without one, you may as well quit now and not play out for five to ten years.

You can't leave it all to your wife, either, if you want her to continue to be supportive of your music. She is going to go through some hormonal changes that make the ones of pregnancy look like a fun game. New mothers often feel isolated, and the more their spouse is gone, the more they feel like that. They get to feeling awful and unattractive, too...nothing like having your nipples chewed up and your hair constantly fried and no sleep to make a girl feel like the Medusa.

So you'll need to help your wife by making sure she lives some vestige of her pre-child life, too. Now you see why a good sitter network is so important!

Good luck, and enjoy your baby. You are in for an experience like no other, and more rewarding than any.

Mama to Luke and Aimee...

Cherie :bassist:
 
#22
After the baby is born, I recommend splitting the night into shifts so each of you get's at least 4 hours uninterupted sleep. So for the first 4 hours one of takes care of anything the baby needs, and the second 4 hours you swap. I have two boys (10 and 7). The first one ate every 2 hours for about 4 months. We were both exauhsted after the first month until we came up with the shift system. The good news is that the 10 year old is big enough to help me mow the lawn now (with a lot of supervision)!
 
#23
Great advice here averyone! Keeping Mama happy is the key here. The whole post pardum (sp) depression thing needss to be considered. I am doing things now to make life easier. Getting the house in order, nursery, stuff like that is a must. Baby sitting network is going to be huge for us, just to be able to work we are going to need that. Another reason I started a band from the ground up, they all know when the baby comes I will be gone for a while..they understand and knew up front what they were getting into. I really found people who want a fun part time thing, and that's all I can do. So there will be no surprises and drama when baby comes with the band, they all know we are in it for the long haul. Plus most of the guys have kids already, and are close freinds and family. I found a really good group this time!! It's all very exciting being a first time father. When that baby first comes, I will really have to be the rock of the family for mama and baby so that's what's important!
 
#24
GiantSlacker said:
After the baby is born, I recommend splitting the night into shifts so each of you get's at least 4 hours uninterupted sleep. So for the first 4 hours one of takes care of anything the baby needs, and the second 4 hours you swap. I have two boys (10 and 7). The first one ate every 2 hours for about 4 months. We were both exauhsted after the first month until we came up with the shift system. The good news is that the 10 year old is big enough to help me mow the lawn now (with a lot of supervision)!
Click to expand...


Wife works at 6 am, I'll be on night duty till noon the next day then off to work till 8 pm or so. It is what it is and I just will have to suck it up and do it!
 
#26
I have two little ones - two and a half and four months. I find it's hard to practice at home because 1) your kids want/need your attention and 2) because once they're asleep you don't want to wake them.

I schedule rehearsals for afternoon nap time on the weekends or late-ish in the evening (8-10) so I can spend time with the kids after work. As for gigs, I just turn-up as required but we're lucky in our part of the world as nannies are very cheap (we have two - weekdays and weekends) so my wife is never under too much pressure.

When I do practice at home I usually find myself playing nursery rhymes or playing along to Wiggles DVDs. My playing hasn't improved much lately but I can now do a kick-arse version of Frère Jacques.
 
#27
It's a wonderful thing. It's also a struggle but worth it. I raised 4 kids & played the whole time. My wife worked during the daytime & I played mom. At night I played in the band. When I was on the road, we had daycare. No sleep until they start school. Just make damn sure she's with you on your music career. If she's not, it will come down to "The Choice". I now have an ex wife, because she kept changing her mind about that. I did wait till all my kids were adults before going my own way,but I never forgave her for not believing in me. I live with my girlfriend (who owns a club) now. She understands what the music biz is about.
 
#28
Hey TB
Happy Holidays first off. Think it's been about a year since I posted for those who remember me at all..LOL

I have not played bass hardly at all since my daughter was born, she just turned 1 two weeks ago. What a blast! I m having so much fun being a father, in fact so much fun we are expecting again in the spring!

I think about music all the time, just no time for it right now with being a parent and work. One day I will find time to play again, hopefully next winter when my second daugther is old enough to sleep through the night.

It's fun getting my one year old into music. I bought her some bongos for her first birthday and she plays them everyday. She loves music and I must say at one, she has good timing already and shakes be Latin Pacific baby rattle (coverted egg shaker) to perfect time with the music.


Hope some of you new parents that responded to this thread over a year ago read tis and chime in with an update...hope all is well with all of you!
 
#29
Going on 10 months here...

I am playing just as much.. collecting cars a lot less.

-----

For homelife PR.. it REALLY helped that I give my bride 1/2 of the money to put in a college fund. So far my kid has more in the bank than most kids starting college.

I do play more family type places (fundraisers, pizza joints, churches etc)....

It's doable.

Link Removed
 
#31
RicPlaya said:
Hey bassplayers

Wife and I are expecting our first in December. Just wanted to shout out to all the bass players with babies! How did it go or how is it going for you? How did you adjust everything in your life and were you able to keep you band and bass playing going? I still plan on playing with the band and practicing time permitting.
Click to expand...
If your wife is a musician, you'll be fine. :) :) :) 4 kids, and still gigging, often with my wife. :)
 
#32
enjoy the little one. mine's 4 and a half(and gets mad if you don't say the half when telling people). i've been a single father since 2007, and had to put music on the back burner for a long time. i still play and keep my chops up, but it's been a long time since ive played a gig. now that he's getting older and is in school, i'm thinking about putting something together, but time is still very much taken up by him...not that i mind at all. :)
 
#33
My wife had twin girls three years ago. I gave up everything except music. Never missed a beat. I still play two nights a week with the band. No more hunting, fishing, sports, etc. All gone except for the music. Music is the one thing I insisted on keeping after the babies were born. It takes a very understanding woman. Always put in as much work as she does and let her have personal time as much as she gives you. Enjoy sleeping in now because it will be years before you get another chance.
 
#34
My wife quit her job to stay home with the baby. I got the green light to gig out more to make up for some of the financial loss.

For me, gigs aren't so bad since they are usually after my son is asleep. Rehearsals cut more into family time, so I try to only work with bands that gig but don't rehearse often. Oddly, once I did that, I've been playing out a whole lot more.
 
#36
I have four kids and I've been playing bass longer than any of them have been alive. Rehearsals at my place stopped years ago after the oldest was born but my personal time practicing didn't. Most babies will sleep pretty much through decent amounts of noise just lighten up on the low end. It's not so much the volume as the vibration and for you slap players the percussiveness of that sound.

Just tone it down and they'll be fine. They'll probably be more of an issue for you at age three when bedtime means we go, we get up, we go again, we want a drink of water, no you'll wet the bed, go back to bed, I want a story, no, get up again, I can't sleep, go back to bed, when can I get older can stay up later, GO BACK TO BED NOWWWWWW!

They'll be disturbing you more than you will them trust me.
 
#37
Continued playing but slowly fell out of being part of working bands.
Don't get discouraged, all thing music will come full circle
Spent most of my time rearing the kids. Took up guitar and played damn near every day.
Serenaded the kids at night, lullabies at bedtime and ruckus songs around the campfire
Soon, due to children's requests, played the Barney theme, SpongeBob and other children's tunes
Advanced to then current pop and played them Britney Spears, Hillary Duff, then Paramore etc.
The point is I kept playing, granted not in working bands.
Once the kids were in High school/Middle School, I took up bass again and started up again with working bands.
In 2 bands now, having a blast and playing more than when I was young, footloose and single.
Not to mention I am a hellava lot better skill wise today.
 
#39
Yup. Took 13 years off myself. Did "Mr. Mom" for the first 3 years (left my day job and music). By the time the oldest was 7, I had full physical & legal custody of all 3. Had no time for, or interest in music.

Got back into it gradually when they became teenagers, and now that they're 23, 21 & 17, I'm working full-time & gigging regularly.

And though it doesn't pay $$$, the biggest payoff is jamming with my son.

In the end it's ALL good.
 

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