According to many threads here at TB:
It would have 5 strings
It would be PJ
It would have flats
It would have tort or anodized pickguard
It would have 2-band/3-band active, plus passive
It would have a switch instead of a sweep pot or two volumes
It would weigh under 7 lbs.
It would have a narrow, but chunky neck
It would have lightweight tuners
It would have an aftermarket bridge that worked, and sounded just like the original
It would have straplocks and a wide strap
It would play "like butter"
It would have a maple fingerboard, bound, with blocks
It doesn't really exist, but you can't please anyone around here sometimes!