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Break up with her?

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by SnowCal, Mar 8, 2013.


  1. My situation with the SO is FUBAR right now. Single mother who I haven't known that long. She had plans to move that fell through at the last minute. Was about to become a homeless single mother. I have a very cool landlord who had a unit open next door. She was able to get keys the same day to move into the place. I felt like I had to help her.

    But now that she's living in the same building as me I'm panicking. I want to run as far as I can. It's one thing to spend the night every night. It's another to live in the same building and compete for parking spaces.

    One reason not to run is that she's good for 5 heads at every gig for my originals band. A small part of the crowd, but valuable.

    What would you do? Feel like I ****ed up badly by trying to keep her and her kid indoors.
     
  2. jmattbassplaya

    jmattbassplaya Looking for a gig around East Islip, NY!

    Jan 13, 2008
    Long Island, NY.
    In the grand scheme of things, this is such a minor inconvenience on your life that you should probably calm down and not worry about it too much.
     
  3. Wait....what?
     
  4. Uncle K

    Uncle K The bass player doesn't get a sandwich Supporting Member

    Aug 22, 2011
    Erie, PA
    Things can get real messy if you break up with her now. Take jmatt's advice and just calm down.
     
  5. pacojas

    pacojas "FYYA BUN"

    Oct 11, 2009
    MEXICANADAMERICA
    +1

    (i'm perplexed)
     
  6. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Total Hyper-Elite Member Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    You did the right thing for her. First-come first-served on the parking. And five heads is pretty good. Live with it.
     
  7. You did a good a thing and helped her out, so you've earned some good Karma. You're not obligated to her - if anything, it's the other way around. So what exactly are you so worried about?
     
  8. Jordan S.

    Jordan S.

    Mar 25, 2012
    NSW, Australia
    Blacksheep Effects Pedals
    And another +1. I've got no idea what's happening.
     
  9. Indiana Mike

    Indiana Mike

    Nov 18, 2005
    If you had let her move in with you ....

    She's your neighbor. Not your roomate .

    If you break up be prepared for some real panic inducing drama.
     
  10. I want to see a picture of this lady with five heads, that has to be some sort of medical miracle, or something.

    lowsound
     
  11. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Supporting Member

    Apr 12, 2001
    Olympia, WA
    Why are you panicking?

    -Mike
     
  12. AaronMB

    AaronMB

    Aug 17, 2012
    Central Oregon
    What would have been messed up was to not have saved Her and her child from the street, for even a day.

    If the relationship is new, there's no reason you two shouldn't have a quick chat about trying to make sure things don't progress faster just because they can...easier said than done, but still worth the chat. She's a single mom, so this isn't her first rodeo: she could be just as concerned, but her priority is a roof for her and her child.

    Relax. Have a chat. Don't create habits too soon that oblige you spend time together (ie: staying over every night, doing 'every' thing together, babysitting all the time, etc.). Space is good.

    But on the other hand, if the "plus" that you find in your relationship is that she's good for bringing five friends to your gigs, you're lacking respect--that's what's FUBAR here--and you should let her go.

    To spin it again, you're also saying that you've found a girl that likes you AND supports you and your music by bringing friends to your gigs...
     
  13. ErebusBass

    ErebusBass

    Feb 20, 2008
    Madison, WI
    Did school get out early this year?

    It seems like there have been a lot of these lately.
     
  14. NOAH_FX

    NOAH_FX

    Aug 12, 2010
    Ottawa, Canada
    If your biggest worry about breaking up with her, is the 5 people that she brings to gig's... Break up with her. She deserves better.. Sh*t, ANYONE deserves better than that...

    Rly?
     
  15. SoVeryTired

    SoVeryTired Endorsing nothing, recommending much

    Jul 2, 2011
    Milton Keynes, UK
    Yep. I feel sorry for her in this story.
     
  16. 4dog

    4dog

    Aug 18, 2012
    You did good and now its an issue, doesnt anyone talk anymore, what makes you think shes gonna be a maniac , she might not even really like you.
     
  17. blue4

    blue4

    Feb 3, 2013
    St. Louis area
    I feel sorry for this women. God forbid you are still dating at xmas and you have to buy her a gift. The commitment could be overwhelming. I would relax a little before making any decisions.
     
  18. bassbully

    bassbully Endorsed by The PHALEX CORN BASS..mmm...corn!

    Sep 7, 2006
    Blimp City USA
    So be cold, ditch her, and be alone in your place with 5 less heads at your gigs.
     
  19. If you aren't able to see the good in what you did, not just for her, but for her children, then you NEED to be alone your own apartment for awhile. Heaven forbid you do something nice for someone. There's lots of single moms out there, who are just needing a little helping hand once in awhile. If you don't want to be with her, don't answer your door. Its not the end of world. Hell, if your landlord is so awesome why don't you switch to a different apartment?
     
  20. Lots of good info/advice here, I think- Ill go w/ pretty much everything AaronMB said.
     

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