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Can hot moniters intimidate you?

Not "intimidated", but yeah, people are going to instinctively back off when they're getting blasted in the face by the sound.

The clarity and no feedback are good things, you simply had the level too high.

I like my monitors reasonably balanced with everything else. Vocal just slightly louder than everything else but not by much. When it's set similar to the FOH mix, the band can mix itself by mic proximity, vocal dynamics, etc.
This.

Monitors need to be at the correct level for me. I do not love overly hot monitors any more than I like then under level.