Can I get someones opinion on this?

[king_xanadu]

this is the best place i could find to put this
this isn't exactly a recording
just an mp3 from the software i use (sibelius 5)
its not me just the crummy stock sounds
its very early in the posses
criticism is much appreciated
thanks


http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?idvmchoq3wu

 

[BassDan8]

Good job,this is a interesting bit, its just not for me. It sounds too cheesy and poppy for my taste. (I realize that this could also be your recording equipment). I would change the rhythms and make the notes more connected and melodic. You might also try experimenting with some other timbres. I do like the bass part in the middle, nice playing.

Its a good start, but I have heard tons of stuff like it before.

Good luck and thanks for sharing.

 

[king_xanadu]

Good job,this is a interesting bit, its just not for me. It sounds too cheesy and poppy for my taste. (I realize that this could also be your recording equipment). I would change the rhythms and make the notes more connected and melodic. You might also try experimenting with some other timbres. I do like the bass part in the middle, nice playing.

Its a good start, but I have heard tons of stuff like it before.

Good luck and thanks for sharing.

and like i said its not even a recording just stock instrument sounds