not sure when this came out, but it's the 1st i've seen of the 2006 darwin awards.
THE DARWIN AWARDS ARE GIVEN OUT BY
>>SOME GROUP EVERY YEAR, TO THOSE PEOPLE THAT FIND THE MOST INVENTIVE WAYS
>>TO REMOVE THEMSELVES FROM LIFE . THIS YEARS WINNERS CERTAINLY ARE OWED A
>>DEBT OF GRATITUDE FOR MAKING US ALL LOOK BRIGHTER....ENJOY (IF THAT IS THE
>>PROPER WORD FOR IT).....
>>
>>
>>Eighth Place:
>>In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water
>>after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate
>>to retrieve his car keys.
>>
>>Seventh Place:
>>A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran,"
>>accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.
>>
>>Sixth Place:
>>Buxton , NC : A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had dug
>>into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach-goers said
>>Daniel Jones, 21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and
>>had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it
>>collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach, on the
>>outer banks, used their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to
>>Jones, a resident of Woodbridge , VA , but could not reach him.
>>It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him
>>while about 200 people looked on. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.
>>
>>Fifth Place
>>Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc , CA , as he fell face-first
>>through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was
>>caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep his
>>hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
>>
>>Fourth Place:
>>Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in Selbyville, Del, as he won a
>>bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four
>>bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger. As Ron White often says :
>>" You can't fix stupid." These people prove it is a terminal condition.
>>
>>Third Place :
>>(My personal favorite!) The following mind-boggling attempt at a crime
>>spree in Washington, DC appeared to be the robber's first (and last), due
>>to his lack of a previous record of violence, and his terminally stupid
>>choices:
>>1. His target was H&J Leather & Firearms; A gun shop specializing in
>>handguns.
>>2. The shop was full of customers - firearms customers.
>>3. To enter the shop, the robber had to step around a marked police patrol
car parked at the front door.
4. A uniformed officer was standing at the counter, having coffee before
work. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up,
and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol.
The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, the police officer with a
9mm GLOCK 17, the clerk with a 50 DESERT EAGLE, assisted by several
customers who also drew their guns, several of whom also drew and fired.
The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene
investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop.The
subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds.
Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was
hurt in the exchange of fire.
>>HONORABLE MENTION:
Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover township, NJ, and his wife
Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter- stick of dynamite blew up in
their car. While driving around at 2 AM, the bored couple lit the
dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but
apparently failed to notice the window was closed.
RUNNER UP:
TACOMA , WA
Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends
when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the
Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew
more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridgeat
4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that
no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking,
volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's
cable lay nearby. One end of the cable was secured around Bingham's leg
and the other end was tied to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before
the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously
survived his fall into the icy salt water and was rescued by two nearby
fishermen. "All I can say" said ingham, is that God was watching out
for me on that night. There's just no other explanation for it." Bingham
's Foot was never located.
AND THE WINNER...BRACE YOURSELF.....
Overzealous zoo keeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn , Germany) fed his
constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a
bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged- up pachyderm
finally let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop!
Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the
ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on
him."The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked
Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock and lay
unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top
of him" said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. With no
one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour
before a watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated.
It Seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves... "****
happens!
THE DARWIN AWARDS ARE GIVEN OUT BY
>>SOME GROUP EVERY YEAR, TO THOSE PEOPLE THAT FIND THE MOST INVENTIVE WAYS
>>TO REMOVE THEMSELVES FROM LIFE . THIS YEARS WINNERS CERTAINLY ARE OWED A
>>DEBT OF GRATITUDE FOR MAKING US ALL LOOK BRIGHTER....ENJOY (IF THAT IS THE
>>PROPER WORD FOR IT).....
>>
>>
>>Eighth Place:
>>In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water
>>after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate
>>to retrieve his car keys.
>>
>>Seventh Place:
>>A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran,"
>>accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.
>>
>>Sixth Place:
>>Buxton , NC : A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had dug
>>into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach-goers said
>>Daniel Jones, 21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and
>>had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it
>>collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach, on the
>>outer banks, used their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to
>>Jones, a resident of Woodbridge , VA , but could not reach him.
>>It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him
>>while about 200 people looked on. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.
>>
>>Fifth Place
>>Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc , CA , as he fell face-first
>>through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was
>>caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep his
>>hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
>>
>>Fourth Place:
>>Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in Selbyville, Del, as he won a
>>bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four
>>bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger. As Ron White often says :
>>" You can't fix stupid." These people prove it is a terminal condition.
>>
>>Third Place :
>>(My personal favorite!) The following mind-boggling attempt at a crime
>>spree in Washington, DC appeared to be the robber's first (and last), due
>>to his lack of a previous record of violence, and his terminally stupid
>>choices:
>>1. His target was H&J Leather & Firearms; A gun shop specializing in
>>handguns.
>>2. The shop was full of customers - firearms customers.
>>3. To enter the shop, the robber had to step around a marked police patrol
car parked at the front door.
4. A uniformed officer was standing at the counter, having coffee before
work. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up,
and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol.
The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, the police officer with a
9mm GLOCK 17, the clerk with a 50 DESERT EAGLE, assisted by several
customers who also drew their guns, several of whom also drew and fired.
The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene
investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop.The
subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds.
Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was
hurt in the exchange of fire.
>>HONORABLE MENTION:
Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover township, NJ, and his wife
Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter- stick of dynamite blew up in
their car. While driving around at 2 AM, the bored couple lit the
dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but
apparently failed to notice the window was closed.
RUNNER UP:
TACOMA , WA
Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends
when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the
Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew
more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridgeat
4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that
no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking,
volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's
cable lay nearby. One end of the cable was secured around Bingham's leg
and the other end was tied to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before
the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously
survived his fall into the icy salt water and was rescued by two nearby
fishermen. "All I can say" said ingham, is that God was watching out
for me on that night. There's just no other explanation for it." Bingham
's Foot was never located.
AND THE WINNER...BRACE YOURSELF.....
Overzealous zoo keeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn , Germany) fed his
constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a
bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged- up pachyderm
finally let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop!
Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the
ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on
him."The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked
Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock and lay
unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top
of him" said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. With no
one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour
before a watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated.
It Seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves... "****
happens!
