Hey folks, for those new to the diary, I am a middle aged musician enjoying somewhat of a musical renaissance, including finally picking up the bass as a secondary instrument. I have been learning mostly on the fly gigging with 2-3 others, & documenting my gigs with brief writeups. See the links to past entries below!
After our wonderful gig Sunday night, it was inevitable that something had to give! we played last night, with an odd structure, with Jim and Matt being constant on guitar/vocals & drums, with two different lead guitarists & bassists. Jim and I were scheduled for the first 1.5 hour set, with Frank's regular contributor popping on bass for the second.
I got there early, and things were jovial and upbeat during setup. We expected to play to a mostly empty bar, typical for suppertime on one of the first "Spring-ish" feeling days we've had. We got going, starting off a bit rocky. We were just warming up, when Frank got into some of his bad habits, leading to an incident. We have had issues with him not clearly communicating the song & key/chords we are about to play. In fairness, he has been making a real effort to work on this.
A couple of songs in, just as we were getting going, he calls "Sunshine", a blues song I had never played, and he told me the line was "just like Thrill is Gone, just with some different chords" (he listed the chords). First off, he usually plays TIG in Am, not Bm, so I asked if it was still in Am, which he confirmed. I started off playing the line wrong, missing one of the key walkup notes. That and Matt not knowing the song at all sent us into a spiral. Frank got mad, and made a comment about my not knowing the songs.
I said "I am done here", promptly unplugging my patch chords/power adaptor, and had my bass strap taken up over my head before he convinced me to stay. A brief discussion was had about communicating the songs, to which he remarked "I sent you the list". He HAD done so, because I specifically ASKED him to two days prior so the rest of us could start working out the basics to the songs he likes to play *over time*.
I said "what, the list you sent us TWO days ago of 20+ songs?!"
Anyway, I decided to tough it out, but I had a hard time enjoying myself after that. I gave it my best effort, working on stataco/legato lines, and doing more singing than I typically feel comfortable doing on bass, but I was kindof checked out and stuck mostly to simple lines, trying to lock in with Matt as much as I could. I calmed down, but it wasn't the same as Sunday's gig, where we felt like a real unit, even when we slipped up.
Jim had originally planned to play during the hypothetical 3rd set that Frank had mentioned, so he stuck around with me at the bar while lineup #2 played. The other lead guitarist didn't show, and I think Frank thought Jim was siding with me, as he made a comment when Jim when out for a smoke to the effect of "why don't you come play with us"? I'm not sure if Jim decided not to play because of what happened, but there was no 3rd set anyway.
We all said our goodbyes & salutations, and departed. I got back to the car, and decided the line had to be drawn. I sent Frank a lengthy message to the effect of:
"I am a casual bassist, who only got a bass again 6 weeks ago. I have asked you numerous times to ensure everyone knows the song we are about to play. This is a hobby for me, not an obligation. Obviously, I want us to improve, but if your expectations are someone who is going to devote significant time to learning your entire song catalog, you have that in (regular bassist's name). I really enjoy these jams, but I *will not* be tolerating any criticisms of my playing on stage. If my level of commitment doesn't work for you, I will be abstaining from participating in the jams going forward".
He "heart" reacted.
When Jim called me, and I told him, he was devastated. We have both been really enjoying these, and this has been the first times he has been able to play electric guitar live since high school. I am the one that got him to come out and start performing in the first place a few years ago, so I think he feels loyal to me. I fell over myself to tell him that he should continue jamming with them regardless, but that if this wasn't rectified that I wouldn't be sharing any stages with Frank ever again.
So who knows, maybe I am not taking things seriously enough, but at the end of the day, I can't share a stage with someone that is going to publicly belittle me in front of the other musicians, venue staff, and customers. This is the second such incident this year, and I feel it comes down to basic consideration. Who knows where this goes, but I think this is something better nipped in the bud early.
It's funny how easily a great thing can be just absolutely ruined!
Past "Diary of a Bassist" entries:
#1 #2 #3 #4 #5
#6 #7 #8 #9 #10
#11 #12 #13 #14 #15
#16 #17 #18 #19 #20
#21
After our wonderful gig Sunday night, it was inevitable that something had to give! we played last night, with an odd structure, with Jim and Matt being constant on guitar/vocals & drums, with two different lead guitarists & bassists. Jim and I were scheduled for the first 1.5 hour set, with Frank's regular contributor popping on bass for the second.
I got there early, and things were jovial and upbeat during setup. We expected to play to a mostly empty bar, typical for suppertime on one of the first "Spring-ish" feeling days we've had. We got going, starting off a bit rocky. We were just warming up, when Frank got into some of his bad habits, leading to an incident. We have had issues with him not clearly communicating the song & key/chords we are about to play. In fairness, he has been making a real effort to work on this.
A couple of songs in, just as we were getting going, he calls "Sunshine", a blues song I had never played, and he told me the line was "just like Thrill is Gone, just with some different chords" (he listed the chords). First off, he usually plays TIG in Am, not Bm, so I asked if it was still in Am, which he confirmed. I started off playing the line wrong, missing one of the key walkup notes. That and Matt not knowing the song at all sent us into a spiral. Frank got mad, and made a comment about my not knowing the songs.
I said "I am done here", promptly unplugging my patch chords/power adaptor, and had my bass strap taken up over my head before he convinced me to stay. A brief discussion was had about communicating the songs, to which he remarked "I sent you the list". He HAD done so, because I specifically ASKED him to two days prior so the rest of us could start working out the basics to the songs he likes to play *over time*.
I said "what, the list you sent us TWO days ago of 20+ songs?!"
Anyway, I decided to tough it out, but I had a hard time enjoying myself after that. I gave it my best effort, working on stataco/legato lines, and doing more singing than I typically feel comfortable doing on bass, but I was kindof checked out and stuck mostly to simple lines, trying to lock in with Matt as much as I could. I calmed down, but it wasn't the same as Sunday's gig, where we felt like a real unit, even when we slipped up.
Jim had originally planned to play during the hypothetical 3rd set that Frank had mentioned, so he stuck around with me at the bar while lineup #2 played. The other lead guitarist didn't show, and I think Frank thought Jim was siding with me, as he made a comment when Jim when out for a smoke to the effect of "why don't you come play with us"? I'm not sure if Jim decided not to play because of what happened, but there was no 3rd set anyway.
We all said our goodbyes & salutations, and departed. I got back to the car, and decided the line had to be drawn. I sent Frank a lengthy message to the effect of:
"I am a casual bassist, who only got a bass again 6 weeks ago. I have asked you numerous times to ensure everyone knows the song we are about to play. This is a hobby for me, not an obligation. Obviously, I want us to improve, but if your expectations are someone who is going to devote significant time to learning your entire song catalog, you have that in (regular bassist's name). I really enjoy these jams, but I *will not* be tolerating any criticisms of my playing on stage. If my level of commitment doesn't work for you, I will be abstaining from participating in the jams going forward".
He "heart" reacted.
When Jim called me, and I told him, he was devastated. We have both been really enjoying these, and this has been the first times he has been able to play electric guitar live since high school. I am the one that got him to come out and start performing in the first place a few years ago, so I think he feels loyal to me. I fell over myself to tell him that he should continue jamming with them regardless, but that if this wasn't rectified that I wouldn't be sharing any stages with Frank ever again.
So who knows, maybe I am not taking things seriously enough, but at the end of the day, I can't share a stage with someone that is going to publicly belittle me in front of the other musicians, venue staff, and customers. This is the second such incident this year, and I feel it comes down to basic consideration. Who knows where this goes, but I think this is something better nipped in the bud early.
It's funny how easily a great thing can be just absolutely ruined!
Past "Diary of a Bassist" entries:
#1 #2 #3 #4 #5
#6 #7 #8 #9 #10
#11 #12 #13 #14 #15
#16 #17 #18 #19 #20
#21
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