Divorce Advice: What should I do?

[Kosko]

work out together, it'll get the blood pumping to all the right places again.

 

[JimmyM]

Dude, I have to question why you would ask strangers for advice about such a personal issue. I guess people need to vent sometimes, but as could be predicted, you got a ton of contradictory advice. All I'm going to tell you is that people should treat the people they love better than they do.

 

[Jeremy Crockett]

If she's sincere, she'll go to counseling with you. You let it go too long. You should give it a good try.

Good luck!

/thread

 

[Loose Cannon]

Thank you to everyone who has replied thus far.

A couple of you wondered why I asked for advice here from people I don't know. Well, for one, I know many of you have either been through it or know someone who has and are familiar with the outcome in different scenarios. Also, sometimes a stranger is more honest than an friend who might be biased in your favor (although a true friend would be honest). I respect and consider each of your answers, and it is good to hear different viewpoints.

I know, however, the ultimate decisions are mine to make and live with.

 

[funkydjembe]

Amen to that bro. Good luck

 

[Geoff St. Germaine]

I would suggest trying counseling if you are both open to it. The option of divorce will still be there if it can't be fixed, but if you are both open to it you may be able to fix things.

 

[mrpackerguy]

I would probably give her one more chance, if for no other reason than your kid.

 

[Michael Jewels]

Thank you to everyone who has replied thus far.

Also, sometimes a stranger is more honest than an friend who might be biased in your favor (although a true friend would be honest).
I know, however, the ultimate decisions are mine to make and live with.

Words of wisdom there.

I also wish you the best in this difficult situation.

Mike

 

[Johnny Crab]

I don't spend much time on the BG side of talkbass, so I don't you or the characters here like I do on the doublebass side, but let me say two things with all sincerity.

1) I'm really sorry for what you are going through.
2) I don't think that it's a very good idea to look for marital advice on a musicians forum site.

Seriously, you're working through some pretty major life issues, there has to be a better source for you.

All the best,

Troy

What he said.
Been thru two divorces with children involved.
Seek better advice elsewhere....and NEVER post plans/strategy on the web...

 

[Jonny B]

First of all, "Do it for the kids" is not a reason to try and make a marriage work. It is in fact the WORST reason to try and make a marriage work. You are not married to your kids.

Secondly, it sounds as if you have already moved on. What is the point of trying to make a loveless marriage work?

You need to think of your happiness and well being first. What kind of example are you setting for your daughter by being miserable all of the time.

I have seen too many friends, both men and women stay in a doomed marriage with an oppressive spouse for far too long. It is not a pretty thing to witness the slow agonizing death of a person's soul as they wither away under the weight of a bad marriage.

You'll be amazed how much brighter the world is once you get your life back together. And as far as your daughter is concerned; you did the the right thing in assuring her it's not about her, and that no matter what you will always love her. Kids are more resilient than most people think. What's easier to overcome? Six months to year of hell from a divorce, or a lifetime of watching their parents hate each other?