Before I put my truck in gear, I check the back...
"Bass, amp, cab, gig bag, stand, stool"
OK.
I hope the bass is in the gig bag when you do this.
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Before I put my truck in gear, I check the back...
"Bass, amp, cab, gig bag, stand, stool"
OK.
Yes. Before every gig, I go through a three phase ritual as follows:
PHASE ONE
I begin by putting the bass still in its case lying flat on the floor with the case open, and hovering both of my hands about three feet above the case while I chant ancient mahamrityunjaya mantras for two minutes and 30 seconds. I then stop, look in both directions (left to right), then yell "HEI" followed by taking a deep breath in, and then forcefully exhaling as slowly as possible. Only then am I able to move on to Phase Two of the ritual.
PHASE TWO
Utilizing the secret code, I open my Cryptex lock box and remove the revered contents: my 12" by 12" mojo cloth. I proceed to wipe down the bass with it, knowing that this cloth is mojoizing the bass in its entirety with each swipe. This mojo cloth was made exclusively for me and was anointed with powerful mojo substances and sold to me via mail order from a guy wearing a suit and tie on TV at 2am who accepts VISA.
PHASE THREE
After the Phase One chant and the Phase Two mojoizing, with the bass still lying in its case on the floor, I am then ready for the third and final phase of the ritual. I have a group of six lesbian nazi hookers who were abducted by aliens and forced into weight loss programs march in unison slowly around my bass humming the theme song for The Monkees. At the end, they all stop momentarily, they close their eyes, tilt their heads back, raise their hands as high as they can, and walk out of the picture.
I then grab my bass and go rock out. Works every time!
OK I would kill to have a beer with you! Hahahahahaha Ever in Arizona?
I alway kiss my wife's boobs before taking to the stage.
he produced a photo of my wife's boobs for me to kiss.