Dumb lead singer stories

[Coot]

Yep. I'm sure there's a few out there.
We had a guy once who loved to swan out into the audience for the ballads. Got him closer to the girls for that all important eye contact and maybe to pocket a phone number or two. We did "Stairway" ( back when it was new and not eye-rollingly passe to play live) and that was his favorite strolling through the ladies song. Our soundman had just added about 50 feet of extra cable as per the singers request. The sound guy was watching me and our lead guitarist and winking at us as he played out more and more line to our roamin' Romeo. The gig was a dinner/ dance and Rob( singer) was weaving in and out of the tables croonin' his little heart out. We were just getting to the finale when he realized he was wound around about 15 tables. When the song ended ? Yep.. there was our suave singer out in the middle of the room trying to find his way back and yelling at our sound guy to " Reel me in man!!" Terry ( soundguy) pretended to be busy at the board for a good 5 minutes.
Unfortunately, he was an awesome singer we couldn't get rid of.

 

[definenredefine]

Mine is short - singer in my punk band was dissatisfied with the direction the band's going. He calls a band meeting.

...and didn't turn up. We didn't hear from him until the next day.

 

[Stinsok]

During a song the singer comes to me (almost in a panic) and asks me if my mic was a "Beta" 58. While trying to talk and play I said no and asked why? He said he needed a Beta. He didn't own any microphones of his own but felt he should be provided with one of his choosing.

He did this for several gigs. The guitar player got tired of this and gave him a Beta 58 that he had at home. I was pretty mad about it. The guy has zero musical expenses and was making the same per gig as everyone else.

I overheard him at a gig saying "Oh yeah, that's why I use a Beta 58. Nothing else will do."

 

[Michedelic]

Mine is short - singer in my punk band was dissatisfied with the direction the band's going. He calls a band meeting.

...and didn't turn up. We didn't hear from him until the next day.

How punk rock is that?

 

[fhm555]

I've told it before but it bears repeating here. I got asked to fill in for a band fronted by a guy who so wanted to be SRV, right down the beat to poopie Strat with mailbox letters. It was a three piece with the front man playing guitar and doing all the vocals. He was no SRV but he was good enough to fake it convincingly enough to satisfy the average semi intoxicated individuals at the local beer n blues bar. One night while on a set break we got a request for something by Jimi Hendrix. Our BL said "sorry we don't do anything but Stevie Ray songs", then opened the next set with Voodoo Chile (slight return)

 

[Michedelic]

I've told it before but it bears repeating here. I got asked to fill in for a band fronted by a guy who so wanted to be SRV, right down the beat to poopie Strat with mailbox letters. It was a three piece with the front man playing guitar and doing all the vocals. He was no SRV but he was good enough to fake it convincingly enough to satisfy the average semi intoxicated individuals at the local beer n blues bar. One night while on a set break we got a request for something by Jimi Hendrix. Our BL said "sorry we don't do anything but Stevie Ray songs", then opened the next set with Voodoo Chile (slight return)

For double trouble.

 

[NZBassman]

A drummer I played with in the 1990s told me about one of his old bands where the singer didn’t own any gear apart from a mic and stand
He never helped set up the gear for gigs and didn’t help pack down... just took his mic and stand and left straight after the gig.
Drummer said after 1 gig there was an altercation / fight between singer and guitarist and singer was fired on the spot.
His band borrowed a singer from another band to do a few gigs, but at the next gig the old singer turned up and said he thought they were joking when they fired him.
Apparently old singer refused to leave and had to be ‘escorted’ out of the venue

I’ve not had any problems myself with singers, but guitarists and drummers.... that’s a different story!

 

[definenredefine]

A drummer I played with in the 1990s told me about one of his old bands where the singer didn’t own any gear apart from a mic and stand
He never helped set up the gear for gigs and didn’t help pack down... just took his mic and stand and left straight after the gig.
Drummer said after 1 gig there was an altercation / fight between singer and guitarist and singer was fired on the spot.
His band borrowed a singer from another band to do a few gigs, but at the next gig the old singer turned up and said he thought they were joking when they fired him.
Apparently old singer refused to leave and had to be ‘escorted’ out of the venue

I’ve not had any problems myself with singers, but guitarists and drummers.... that’s a different story!

Do most singers even own their own mic and/or stand? Even the singers I've worked with that do own one or both, they certainly don't bring them to shows...

 

[definenredefine]

How punk rock is that?

Maybe in the classic Sid Vicious/Jonny Rotten sense, sure. But in the kind of punk/DIY scene I came up in, this sort of thing is less punk and more just being a whiny jerk.

 

[Beej]

In the early 90s we auditioned a singer who brought his own 8 channel peavey mixer and monitors to our jam space. He auditioned and went out for a smoke while we talked, but didn't come back in. He called me hours later to tell me he left them behind because he'd been dropped off but then had to bus back home. I explained I didn't have a car, and also learned he actually lived a 45 minute drive away.

The band ended up on hiatus right after the audition and he called me for three months asking me to borrow my roommate's car to bring it to him. One day he showed up with his brother in his truck and then was angry at me and my roommate that we had "kept his PA for months". We were both pretty clear he could go away in a fornicating fashion.

I think it was just a coincidence that he was a singer though. I'm also a guitarist but the majority of problems I've had with other musicians in my lifetime have been with guitarists.

 

[mahsidivad]

We road tripped a lot as band and had a singer who insisted on riding shotgun (claims car sick? hmmm), and always the first to fall asleep (which is utterly useless as there's no buddy to keep the driver alert). Noticed that whenever he stirs, he thinks he nodded off while driving (panics/ grabs imaginary wheel). What a way to keep the rest of us entertained. We'd actually lose sleep ourselves on overnight drives. We'd wait for him to nod off, start shaking the wheel, banging on the side panels and screaming. TRUCK!, AHHHHHH!, NOOOOO, WE'RE GONNA DIE!!! Grabs the ghost wheel every time.

Adrenaline rush kept him up for at least 30 minutes so we managed to rinse/ repeat every 100 miles or so. Still, it took a few weeks of this before he relegated himself to being a mid seat/ back seat passenger. Shotgun rotation thereafter.

 

[whero]

One vocalist I played with started a fight with a guy from the audience.

Probably pretty punk (or just rock and roll) if that happened in a bar or nightclub.

But this was in the restaurant of a working men's club.

At lunchtime.

On Mothers' Day.

When the only people there were geriatrics, and families with young kids.

 

[reverendboom]

True story... in my first band in High School at our first gig (a birthday party) the lead singer made two major mistakes. first, he brought his overly jealous girlfriend. Second, he got hammered. That lead to very loud and nearly violent fight between the two.



































They fired me the next day.

 

[TheOxRocks]

When I showed up at a rehearsal with my iPad and mic-stand mount (with all of my tab in setlist order on it), my then-lead singer sneered “Look at the technological show-off!” I responded “More practical, I think, than your thick notebook with all of your songs in random order that you have to leaf through between songs, slowing down the flow of the show. Never mind that it’s perched on a rickety music stand that looks like it’s going to break at any moment.”

So naturally at our next gig, her music stand collapsed just before we were about to start our first song. I don’t know which pissed her off more - the embarrassment of having to pick up her scattered papers in front of the audience, or seeing my folded arms and impassive almost-smirk, all but saying to her “Told you so.”

It took her another seven years (I was long out of the band by that point) before she finally got the idea and started using an iPad onstage herself. And, knowing her and her massive ego, I’ll bet she tells everyone she came up with the idea herself.

 

[Stinsok]

We road tripped a lot as band and had a singer who insisted on riding shotgun (claims car sick? hmmm), and always the first to fall asleep (which is utterly useless as there's no buddy to keep the driver alert). Noticed that whenever he stirs, he thinks he nodded off while driving (panics/ grabs imaginary wheel). What a way to keep the rest of us entertained. We'd actually lose sleep ourselves on overnight drives. We'd wait for him to nod off, start shaking the wheel, banging on the side panels and screaming. TRUCK!, AHHHHHH!, NOOOOO, WE'RE GONNA DIE!!! Grabs the ghost wheel every time.

Adrenaline rush kept him up for at least 30 minutes so we managed to rinse/ repeat every 100 miles or so. Still, it took a few weeks of this before he relegated himself to being a mid seat/ back seat passenger. Shotgun rotation thereafter.

Not the singer but the bassist in the band I was in. Every single out of town gig he would claim he couldn't drive on the way back. We got tired of this and when he started to snore the driver would put the tires in the gravel/grass. He'd freak out thinking we were going to crash. He finally got tired of it and did his share of driving.

 

[mahsidivad]

We had taken on a new keyboardist who has a well-kept secret (key contact) in his back pocket. After getting acclimated to our personalities and business dealings, on a 5 day stint in Nantucket, he has the confidence to share.

"Keys: I've been holding out for a while but I think we're ready... I can make a call and get us booked on a 60 day tour of Hard Rock Cafe's - Far East". Think it was 8-10 locations a week at a pop. All expenses paid, good money, housing, cook, laundry, housekeeping. Osaka, Tokyo, Hong Kong, Thailand, Guam, Philippines, etc.

The sheer excitement of KBs announcement immediately threw our (dumb) lead singer into a celebration bender which caused him to lose his voice halfway thru our current string of dates (just imagine what would happen if we actually went). Keys withdrew offer to make the call (not because he's a d!ck, legitimately concerned about maintaining his connection which I agreed with).

A major disappointment at the time for me to miss out on that leg. All due to immaturity.

 

[NZBassman]

When I showed up at a rehearsal with my iPad and mic-stand mount (with all of my tab in setlist order on it), my then-lead singer sneered “Look at the technological show-off!” I responded “More practical, I think, than your thick notebook with all of your songs in random order that you have to leaf through between songs, slowing down the flow of the show. Never mind that it’s perched on a rickety music stand that looks like it’s going to break at any moment.”

So naturally at our next gig, her music stand collapsed just before we were about to start our first song. I don’t know which pissed her off more - the embarrassment of having to pick up her scattered papers in front of the audience, or seeing my folded arms and impassive almost-smirk, all but saying to her “Told you so.”

It took her another seven years (I was long out of the band by that point) before she finally got the idea and started using an iPad onstage herself. And, knowing her and her massive ego, I’ll bet she tells everyone she came up with the idea herself.

In my last band Drummer sang a lot of songs and had a folder with all the lyrics in Alphabetically... so every time he sang a song he's have to shuffle the pages to get to the right lyric sheet.... used to drive me nuts sometimes
I suggested he put the lyrics in 'set order' instead of alphabetical.... but we didn't always stick to the set list and that was the other problem.

Male singer in my current band has iPad on his mic stand with all the lyrics - in set order and it's easy peasy
helps when we stick to the set list too!

 

[jshinal]

Some people just stand in front of real advice and never soak it up.
There is no good way to tell someone a song is beyond their skill level.

 

[Supadope]

We were playing a bar gig and feedback started coming from somewhere. We had to stop the and the sound guy started shutting things off one by one. But the feedback continued. Finally, the sound man killed everything. Still there was this feedback that we could not figure out.

The lead singer used a bullhorn on a song and just dropped it on the floor monitor without turning it off.

 

[WI Short Scaler]

Pretty common thread is waiting for the LS to flip pages looking for a song. But the tech way to do it isn't always reliable either, bad cable, forgot to charge it, just not working isn't much better.

Still trying to get our guitarist away from staring at his music stand.