I hate earplugs. If I played in bands where I had to wear them, I'd quit playing. Fortunately pretty much ever band I've been in cared about their hearing.
I went with IEM's instead, been lucky over the years regarding bands not playing too loud. Just had my hearing checked, its basically normal for my age!
But got in one band with horns, loud drummer, in a bar with no carpet, hard walls, wow... Tried earplugs, didn't like them (ER-20's). They drop the highs a little, enough to make it hard to pick out pitch on the bass with everything else going on.
Finally went with IEM's, never looking back. I get a great sound, at a volume that would be nearly impossible to get to live. When I pop them out between sets, the crowd noise sounds loud to me... no more waking up with ears ringing. Vocals are much easier as well,
You are lucky, more than most, playing some top notch gigs with real pro's, larger rooms with more space.
I decided not to take the chance anymore. I can't always depend on others to do the right thing, don't have the opportunities in today's market, bar gigs becoming fewer and farther between, a working band is not simple to find anymore. I can eliminate the damage when I'm stuck with people/acoustics that get too loud now.
But I was thinking like you, I was going to quit before I made myself deaf. If the IEM thing hadn't worked, I was ready to hang it up, not worth your hearing.
Randy