my girlfriend and i just broke up pretty bad. unfortunately she was the sister of my guitarist and cousin of my drummer and singer. so i got kicked out of the band. they were also my only friends. so i lost my girl, my friends, and my band all in four days time. i was wondering were i shoud go next, and how to recover from this. im not going to let this stop me from playing music. but i am quite lost here.
Enjoy the benefits of a premium membership!
Upgrade Account
-
TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
Join free Log in
Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.
Exhiled
- Thread starter BrianJamesDeBo
- Start date
Oh geeze, sorry man. Well, if anything, it's a lesson in mixing business with pleasure, if you see what I mean. Band stuff and dating really has to be kept seperate, no relatives, for a variety of reasons. You have unfortunately discovered one of them the hard way.
Hopefully you can somehow patch things up with your friends. Obviously the guitarist is going to be tough.
Or else you'll have to get new friends. Sorry, but it'll work out eventually.
Hopefully you can somehow patch things up with your friends. Obviously the guitarist is going to be tough.
Or else you'll have to get new friends. Sorry, but it'll work out eventually.
i think part of it was when we started dating i stopped hanging out with my friends as often as i was. (i wasnt missing practice or anything like that. we were practicing six days a week!) and i think they took that as me loosing interest in the band.
Dang man that sucks! once my wife (then my girlfriend) got into a fight with my guitarists girlfriend ... anyways ... i pulled my guitarist (who was also my best friend) aside and told him we can't control our girlfriends ... so lets not let this ruin our band and more importantly our friendship. so a week later i get a call from our singer saying i was out of the band., but knew my guitarist pitched a fit and got me kicked out.
so if your former band mates are too closed minded to realize that couples get together and break-up as a natural progression of life than thats just signs of trouble ahead and you're better off without them! just keep wailing on the bass and everything will be alright!
so if your former band mates are too closed minded to realize that couples get together and break-up as a natural progression of life than thats just signs of trouble ahead and you're better off without them! just keep wailing on the bass and everything will be alright!
That sucks man.. My grandpa fell and broke his neck the week I got asked to play bass in my band. He survived, but that took a lot out of me.
The best thing is to realize what you can, cant, want to, and shouldnt fix. If you can get back in, and want to, then do so. I dont recommend it, but if you can, try it. There are always other fish in the sea though man.
The best thing is to realize what you can, cant, want to, and shouldnt fix. If you can get back in, and want to, then do so. I dont recommend it, but if you can, try it. There are always other fish in the sea though man.
A. Get a new band.
B. Get a new a girlfriend.
C. Don't let the two worlds collide any more than incidentally -- i.e gigs and the like.
All three of these are attainable if you want them to be.
B. Get a new a girlfriend.
C. Don't let the two worlds collide any more than incidentally -- i.e gigs and the like.
All three of these are attainable if you want them to be.
That is rough! You've got CD's, a computer, and can practice music on your own. Emotion-reactions are high at the moment & you can't predict the future to see if things could get diffused, or restored! Cnltb makes a good point about 'who' are your friends?
When friends or family turn their back on one person in a divorcing couple, it doesn't make sense if communication caused a split, and nobody commited a 'cardinal' sin. Not sure what events led to your split, or what was said in your situation.
Regardless of said, or who did what, and when - keep setting goals, talk with other people about music (don't harp on this stuff too much) and move on. As rough as this may all seem today, collect yourself, and start moving on!
When friends or family turn their back on one person in a divorcing couple, it doesn't make sense if communication caused a split, and nobody commited a 'cardinal' sin. Not sure what events led to your split, or what was said in your situation.
Regardless of said, or who did what, and when - keep setting goals, talk with other people about music (don't harp on this stuff too much) and move on. As rough as this may all seem today, collect yourself, and start moving on!
Were they really your friends though? They just abandoned you as soon as you stopped dating their sister/cousin, and they kicked you, a competent bass player, out of their band...
I can understand the brother is mad and defensive, but if he's so serious about the band that he rehearses SIX times a week(?!) he should show some mercy on a bandmate.
My definition of a friend is someone who doesn't care about who you're dating.
I can understand the brother is mad and defensive, but if he's so serious about the band that he rehearses SIX times a week(?!) he should show some mercy on a bandmate.
My definition of a friend is someone who doesn't care about who you're dating.
Write a song about it.
Then another, and then try a third.
Bands/women come and go. Friends will return.
Good luck
Then another, and then try a third.
Bands/women come and go. Friends will return.
Good luck
You lost a girl friend. As the old song goes, "there's more pretty girls than one". Find another band. DON'T date anyone related to any of the band members. Life goes on.
You didn't lose any friends, because their actions prove they were NOT your friends.
Get out, meet new people, advertise in band-listing sites, and go on with life. It will hurt for a while, but the busier you get, the less it will hurt.
Get out, meet new people, advertise in band-listing sites, and go on with life. It will hurt for a while, but the busier you get, the less it will hurt.
I say cut all their heads off and put them on sharp sticks in their front yard! Yeah! That's what I say! Then, your next band will think twice before firing you. Yep! That'll do! The dirty baggers!
I know you're bummed. You'll find others to jam with and a new girl, too, eventually. It's not a really big deal. Just keep practicing and move on.
The situation seems really odd, though. What did you do to piss the girl off?
I know you're bummed. You'll find others to jam with and a new girl, too, eventually. It's not a really big deal. Just keep practicing and move on.
The situation seems really odd, though. What did you do to piss the girl off?
Unrepresented
Something Borderline Offensive
If I were you I'd change your name to RonnieJamesDeBo and start a new heavier project with dungeons and dragons-esque themes.
You've already got good angst going for motivation.
You've already got good angst going for motivation.
