Facing tough decision..

[hbarcat]

Obviously #1 is to remove yourself from the toxic environment. You’ll probably make more money out on your own. When you’re being continually emotionally crushed you don’t think as sharply, you’re less creative and less productive. On paper it might look good to live at home but you’ll probably do better on your own.

Realize that your mom is NEVER going to be anyone but herself. That means, she is NEVER going to accept when you do something contrary to what she wants. Those kinds of expectations are the first step toward disappointment. She’s probably not going to accept you being a lesbian. Once you accept that, you can stop trying to argue with her into accepting it.

I wouldn’t sever ties. I’d use “good roads, good weather” technique. When you talk to her, keep the things she disagrees with out of the conversation. She can’t have them, she’s demonstrated that. I know the tendency is to want to push her into accepting things about you, but honestly, not all human beings have that ability. If she brings them up, tell her that part of your life is not up for discussion. Hang up if you need to. Eventually the two of you will be able to have a good conversation about things you both agree on, however small they are. That might be all your relationship with her is capable of.

+1

 

[Munjibunga]

Lownered again.

 

[MakiSupaStar]

Good bump Munji.

 

[guy n. cognito]

Lownered again.

I love it when she gives us the old "one and done."

 

[morf]

when does she not?

 

[casualmadness]

I cut ties with my mother for almost a decade. Not for your same reasons but for my own reasons. Basically, she was a horrible person who used everyone around her and cared only about herself. Lot's of people are telling you not to cut ties with your mom and I suspect that is because she is your mom. To most, that is unfathomable. However, it can be neccesary. I won't say that you should or should not cut ties with your mother; that one's on you to decide. What I will say is just because someone is family doesn't mean that you're obligated to endure thier abuse. I cut ties with my mother, my brother and my sister...all because of the horrible way in which they treated me. Now; they are all back in my life at this point but it is on my terms. I accept them as they accept me. But if they begin to mistreat me again, I can and will walk away. I don't need anyone specific in my life to be a whole person. I suspect you need to evaluate who and what you need.
Right now, you need your mother because you are living under her roof. You're 32...get out. Stand on your own feet. It's way past time for you to grow up. If your bills are that much, start cutting some things out of your life. What do you have that costs money that you don't need? I went through a situation a few years ago where debt got out of control due to a divorce. I sold everything that I could. I cut out cable, eating out, 401k contributions, etc. My groceries went from steak, eggs, fruits, milk, etc. to canned veggies, ramen noodles, sandwich meat, etc. I cut out everything in my life that I didn't need to survive. You should do the same. That isn't enough? Get a second job. Stock shelves at the local supermarket at night. Wait tables, deliver pizza, work the drive through at McDonalds. Whatever you do during the day, supplement that by working at night and on the weekends. Having a second job will accomplish more than just earning more money. It will keep you busy so that you don't have time to spend any money which means that you are putting more toward your debt which means you get out on your own, faster. Once you're out on your own, you can decide if your mother has a rightful place in your life. But for now, you live under her roof. You're basically an overgrown adolescent because you chose to be irresponsible with money. Regardless of how you got there; you got there due to not being responsible. So until you get out on your own, you kinda have to suck it up. If you cuy her out of your life now, what are you going to do? Keep living under her roof and just ignore her? Set a goal for yourself to get out on your own and DO IT! Then evaluate your relationship with your mother.

 

[Thor]

^ I'm not sure I get it, would you mind elaborating on that
a bit?