Fed ex bathroom frustration blues

[Lesfunk]

Yes, the perfect storm...
Fedex shows up this morning to deliver my anticipated bass guitar while I'm In a bathroom break.
By the time I made it to the door, the truck was gone and a door tag was stuck on my house

try again tomorrow . I need to learn to hold it in better I guess.

 

[Lagado]

"Listen up there people, here's the news
I got the Fed ex bathroom frustration blues
Caught with my pants down, I could hear the van spin around
And for my pains, all these yellow stains..."

 

[Lesfunk]

"Listen up there people, here's the news
I got the Fed ex bathroom frustration blues
Caught with my pants down, I could the van spin around
And for my pains, all these yellow stains..."

Sheer poetry! #1 with a bullet!

 

[Lagado]

Sheer poetry! #1 with a bullet!

Well that's your first verse isn't it, at least you could get a song out of the experience.

 

[Lesfunk]

" grab my phone"
Too late to type
Missed my geetar while trying to wipe...

 

[Winslow]

Haha! I had better luck apparently: I was enthroned when the Census people came knocking. By the time business was concluded, they had left.

 

[dalkowski]

"Talking Fed Ex Bathroom Frustration Blues."

New band name, I call it.

 

[210superair]

I probably would've run out with pants at ankles and nastiness running down my leg for nbd...

 

[Lagado]

"The postman caught me on the porch, he could see the score
And now they all been goin' round calling me "Wet Leg Les" an' all..."

 

[spantini]

Ok. This same thing happened to me with Amazon yesterday. At least I got the first wipe and caught him turning to walk away.

 

[hotrodjohn]

Next investment : a Ring Doorbell

 

[BigBigGuy44]

This is the exact reason why I keep a 5 gallon bucket on my front porch.

 

[Lagado]

"I walked on down to the store, to try and dry-off on route
The assistant could hardly contain herself as she chirped "Cock-a-leekie soup?"...

 

[Alkali Ike]

This has happened to me. Talk about frustrating. Those delivery drivers are *not* gonna wait for anyone to finish their business. I got 73 more packages to deliver in the next 4 hours!

I've also "just missed" a delivery and driven all round the neighborhood in a one mile radius trying to find the truck. lol.

 

[ashtray]

Been there - have held it all day when I needed to. Or left a signed note for FedEx on the door saying that I'm home and to leave the package. Or left my garage door open with a note for them to toss it in there. Etc.

I've also gotten the dreaded note on the door while I was home, in the front room, waiting on the truck! I swear he came by in his car and just snuck the note on to the door and drove off.

 

[Lagado]

"I thought I'd buy some jeans, so I could relax for the rest of my trip
The fella took one look and said "So you'll be wanting a stainless steel zip?..."

 

[Kukulkan61]

 

[Lagado]

"So I asked to try some on, and he said "no" and was final
He said "Sonny, this is my clothes shop not some kind of urinal"
So I'm turned-tail heading home, when two young girls yell at me
"What's that on the front of your strides? A map of Italy?"

 

[L Anthony]

I'm sure there is some mathematically probability equation that shows that the odds of a delivery exponentially increases with the need of the person waiting on the delivery to use the bathroom.

Same thing happened to me yesterday with Amazon, but the package was nothing they needed me to sign for, which I watched being delivered on my Ring. However, the reason I was watching on the Ring was because I was also expecting a package from USPS that I thought I did have to sign for. Turns out they delivered it hours later to the door on the other side of my house (I live on a corner), which has an area that packages can be out of public view. I didn't even know it had been delivered until I just happened to go out that door later.

 

[Killing Floor]

Great tune. I remember it from the Rattle and Hum movie that U2 made about their struggles bein' real and all.