Fed ex bathroom frustration blues

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by Lesfunk, Aug 31, 2020.

  1. Lesfunk

    Lesfunk Bootlegger guitars : S.I.T. Strings Supporting Member

    Apr 5, 2007
    Florida USA
    Yes, the perfect storm...
    Fedex shows up this morning to deliver my anticipated bass guitar while I’m In a bathroom break.
    By the time I made it to the door, the truck was gone and a door tag was stuck on my house

    try again tomorrow . I need to learn to hold it in better I guess.:mad::rage::(:poop:
  2. Lagado

    Lagado Inactive

    Jan 6, 2020
    "Listen up there people, here's the news
    I got the Fed ex bathroom frustration blues
    Caught with my pants down, I could hear the van spin around
    And for my pains, all these yellow stains..."
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2020
    Bass Viking, Baa, kobass and 32 others like this.
  3. Lesfunk

    Lesfunk Bootlegger guitars : S.I.T. Strings Supporting Member

    Apr 5, 2007
    Florida USA
    Sheer poetry! #1 with a bullet!
  4. Lagado

    Lagado Inactive

    Jan 6, 2020
    Well that's your first verse isn't it, at least you could get a song out of the experience.
  5. Lesfunk

    Lesfunk Bootlegger guitars : S.I.T. Strings Supporting Member

    Apr 5, 2007
    Florida USA
    “ grab my phone“
    Too late to type
    Missed my geetar while trying to wipe...
  6. Winslow


    Sep 25, 2011
    Group "W" Bench
    Haha! I had better luck apparently: I was enthroned when the Census people came knocking. By the time business was concluded, they had left. :roflmao:

  7. dalkowski

    dalkowski Supporting Member

    May 20, 2009
    Massachusetts USofA
    "Talking Fed Ex Bathroom Frustration Blues."

    New band name, I call it.
    EddiePlaysBass and Spidey2112 like this.
  8. 210superair


    Sep 10, 2019
    I probably would've run out with pants at ankles and nastiness running down my leg for nbd...
    kobass, Voyevoda, HardNHeavy and 2 others like this.
  9. Lagado

    Lagado Inactive

    Jan 6, 2020
    "The postman caught me on the porch, he could see the score
    And now they all been goin' round calling me "Wet Leg Les" an' all..."
  10. spantini


    Jun 13, 2020
    Lakeland, FL USA
    Ok. This same thing happened to me with Amazon yesterday. At least I got the first wipe and caught him turning to walk away.
    Lesfunk, Winslow and Alex Bass like this.
  11. hotrodjohn

    hotrodjohn Supporting Member

    Aug 7, 2009
    Next investment : a Ring Doorbell
    ShawnG, 1960jbass and Winslow like this.
  12. BIGEJ2

    BIGEJ2 Supporting Member

    Jul 29, 2009
    Happy Valley, PA
    This is the exact reason why I keep a 5 gallon bucket on my front porch.
  13. Lagado

    Lagado Inactive

    Jan 6, 2020
    "I walked on down to the store, to try and dry-off on route
    The assistant could hardly contain herself as she chirped "Cock-a-leekie soup?"...
  14. OldDog52

    OldDog52 Gold Supporting Member

    Jan 1, 2011
    Pacific Northwest
    I never actually learned to play very well
    This has happened to me. Talk about frustrating. Those delivery drivers are *not* gonna wait for anyone to finish their business. I got 73 more packages to deliver in the next 4 hours! ;)

    I've also "just missed" a delivery and driven all round the neighborhood in a one mile radius trying to find the truck. lol.
  15. Been there - have held it all day when I needed to. Or left a signed note for FedEx on the door saying that I’m home and to leave the package. Or left my garage door open with a note for them to toss it in there. Etc.

    I’ve also gotten the dreaded note on the door while I was home, in the front room, waiting on the truck! I swear he came by in his car and just snuck the note on to the door and drove off.
    EatS1stBassist likes this.
  16. Lagado

    Lagado Inactive

    Jan 6, 2020
    "I thought I'd buy some jeans, so I could relax for the rest of my trip
    The fella took one look and said "So you'll be wanting a stainless steel zip?..."
  17. Kukulkan61

    Kukulkan61 Suspended Supporting Member

    Feb 8, 2011
    Northern Arizona
    EatS1stBassist likes this.
  18. Lagado

    Lagado Inactive

    Jan 6, 2020
    "So I asked to try some on, and he said "no" and was final
    He said "Sonny, this is my clothes shop not some kind of urinal"
    So I'm turned-tail heading home, when two young girls yell at me
    "What's that on the front of your strides? A map of Italy?"
    Flooflox likes this.
  19. L Anthony

    L Anthony Supporting Member

    May 14, 2009
    I'm sure there is some mathematically probability equation that shows that the odds of a delivery exponentially increases with the need of the person waiting on the delivery to use the bathroom.

    Same thing happened to me yesterday with Amazon, but the package was nothing they needed me to sign for, which I watched being delivered on my Ring. However, the reason I was watching on the Ring was because I was also expecting a package from USPS that I thought I did have to sign for. Turns out they delivered it hours later to the door on the other side of my house (I live on a corner), which has an area that packages can be out of public view. I didn't even know it had been delivered until I just happened to go out that door later.
    Bob E and Winslow like this.
  20. Killing Floor

    Killing Floor Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2020
    Austin, TX
    Great tune. I remember it from the Rattle and Hum movie that U2 made about their struggles bein' real and all.
    OldDog52 and Winslow like this.
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    Primary TB Assistant

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    Jun 18, 2021

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