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Fired on Facebook
- Thread starter FloridaTim
- Start date
Fired on FB? Now that is pretty lame. In the end you're probably better off not playing with people like that.
I was fired by snail mail once, yes they sent me an actual letter with a stamp and everything..
I was fired by snail mail once, yes they sent me an actual letter with a stamp and everything..
Since you're a bass player and most always be in demand, operating from a position of equal power to the other band members, there are a couple of possible alternatives available to you that you may not have considered, especially since not all band members wanted you out.
Since the singer didn't know and possibly the drummer didn't know you were "fired", an alternative to your acquiescence, once you knew the singer wasn't in on the "firing", would have been to get her and the drummer(assuming he wasn't in on it as well) together on the phone and discuss your position with the "band" and ask them if they want to replace the guitar player and keep you.
Or, since the "band" was so limited in rehearsing/gigging time, you could have asked the singer if she wanted to form a "real" band with you.
Things being the way they are, keep in touch with the singer for future band/gig references and referrals.
Good luck with your new "real" band!
Had a long talk with the singer. She is good friends with the drummer. I am still friends with them and we even talked about future projects. She is coming out to see my new band on Friday and has been invited to jump on stage and sing with us. Think I will sit back and watch "Little Hitler" (as the drummer has named him) try to find a bass player that has shown up for EVERY gig, rehearsal, photo shoot, meeting, etc. without once complaining.
I'm 5'8" with my boots on, bullets hurt me, I am married to the hottest woman around, drive a Jeep Grand Cherokee AND a Mitsubishi Lancer, and make diddly squat.
AND I WILL KICK YOUR ASS.
Well with ZERO gigs lined up, and a drummer that is 500 miles away, They have a new bassist for what?
Good riddance.
Good riddance.
I think the best course of action is to confront them as drunk as possible.
I think you, OP, are in a good place. Sure it hurts to be treated so poorly, but the real problem here belongs entirely to the guitarist you unfortunately have to work with. Be the bigger man (I think it's already obvious that you are) and treat this guitarist well, but with distance. Concentrate on your new band. This guitarist's chickens will come home to roost soon enough. It sounds like he's alienated his drummer and singer in the process of bungling his relationship with you. Don't let tools like that get you down. You know, it's natural to feel violated when people treat you like that, so I'm not saying, "Stiff upper lip" or anything like that, just feel those emotions, then realize you're in a better place, a place of power, and be the bigger man, as something you do for yourself.
Sadly "getting fired" is part and parcel to playing in bands, just how it is. How someone handles it says a lot about them and it always hurts people like that more than good guys on the receiving end...eventually.
it happens. People are weasels and cowards. I've fired people, I've been fired. I've quit even more bands. It goes with being a musician. But looking back at how I was fired?
1. Fired with a 8 word text message. no explanation. No warning ever. Just "Sorry, but we are going with a different bassist". actually I later heard it was because it was clear that I was getting ready to quit. *shrugs*. but it was still a douche way to do it.
2. Fired by email. No particular reason given. the usual "we're going in a different direction" line. Post-script. Band only lasted another year and disbanded.
3. Fired under the guise of a band conference call "to discuss the upcoming year's priorities and gigs" -- all planned out. My "best friend" in the band didn't even have the guts to warn me in advance or even show up to the call. It was a planned ambush. again, no reason given. Nothing said as to why. Probably because I was the only one who stood up the LS's various lies and self-serving nonsense. Postscript - 1.5 years later, the rest of them all quit the LS and one of them recently apologized to me. Said I was right and I should never have been fired. Oh and my "best friend"? He hit the skids and is now homeless and living in the woods somewhere. Karma sometimes will get ya.
4. this is the best one. I can kinda laugh now. I joined a band, was doing my thing . Told them when I joined that I had a cruise already booked 3-4 months out. No problem. I helped to find a fill-in for the night. I got back, and I was informed that they decided they liked the fill-in better than me and I was out.
it happens. people suck. Musicians can REALLY suck. but I always believe that you treat people the way you wish to be treated. When I've been part of firing people, it was done to their face and with respect and reason.
1. Fired with a 8 word text message. no explanation. No warning ever. Just "Sorry, but we are going with a different bassist". actually I later heard it was because it was clear that I was getting ready to quit. *shrugs*. but it was still a douche way to do it.
2. Fired by email. No particular reason given. the usual "we're going in a different direction" line. Post-script. Band only lasted another year and disbanded.
3. Fired under the guise of a band conference call "to discuss the upcoming year's priorities and gigs" -- all planned out. My "best friend" in the band didn't even have the guts to warn me in advance or even show up to the call. It was a planned ambush. again, no reason given. Nothing said as to why. Probably because I was the only one who stood up the LS's various lies and self-serving nonsense. Postscript - 1.5 years later, the rest of them all quit the LS and one of them recently apologized to me. Said I was right and I should never have been fired. Oh and my "best friend"? He hit the skids and is now homeless and living in the woods somewhere. Karma sometimes will get ya.
4. this is the best one. I can kinda laugh now. I joined a band, was doing my thing . Told them when I joined that I had a cruise already booked 3-4 months out. No problem. I helped to find a fill-in for the night. I got back, and I was informed that they decided they liked the fill-in better than me and I was out.
it happens. people suck. Musicians can REALLY suck. but I always believe that you treat people the way you wish to be treated. When I've been part of firing people, it was done to their face and with respect and reason.
I hope he has because the OP was from 2014!!!
That's what I always ask myself (and anybody) in this kind of situations: ¿CUÁL ES EL BOTÍN? (what's the loot worth?)
I played in this HC band some years ago, a side project with 3 guys from a renowned Spanish rap metal band (one if them -later fired from that for LAME reasons too- is like family to me, a guitarist). We gigged maybe 2 or 3 times a year, but I had a great time and also was challenging for me (at leat at the beginning). This went on for some 3 years and then one day the BL (singer) and the drummer tell my guitarist friend that they were doing some gigs together with another band (only one really, which turned out to be their last) whose bassist and guitarist would essentially replace us for free. He was told via WhatsApp and asked to inform me. Last word I heard from those guys. Lame paranoid morons are like that. I mean, the amount of gigs we were doing was hillarious, the money was even more laughable, you're not really taking away much, so please, have the decency to at least call and say "hey man, we're looking to do some gigs with these guys from band X, 'cause we can't afford to pay you and it'd be unfair to ask you to do them for free" and leave the choice to me (if you're being honest and that's your true motive, but then again, if you don't want me in the band for whatever other reason you can still talk to me about it).
I think we live in a time of overcorrection (at least in the form) and overreaction and there's many people who simply lost the ability to get thru' even the slightest conflicting of situations, just can't manage them like adults (and were talking ~50 y/o people here), mostly because of fear of others' reactions, absurd. In the end, I would have felt better about them and would have definitely understood them looking for more sustainable ways to keep the band going (I prefer to be an ex to a band that's doing good than to a band that simply dies or fades away). They chose to act pusillanimously because they didn't want to risk what, 10 seconds of potential discomfort?
IME there's 2 things that distinguish adults from children: our ability to abstract and how we deal with conflict and frustration.
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The only caution that I can offer is to avoid a conflict that spills over into your day job. For this reason, I would advise taking the high road: Be gracious about having worked with the band and wish the new bassist well.
Im sure its hard to deal with but im in the "Youre better off" group. Good Riddance.
I could never join a band with co-workers, because entirely too many things can go wrong & then your relationship at work is done for as well.
You're probably wishing right now that you hadn't.
You're probably wishing right now that you hadn't.
