Flakes.

[celestialtrash]

They're EVERYWHERE... It's like an airborne virus, it just spreads and spreads until everyone is infected.

Here's my 2 part rant:

So I've been playing with these two guys for about six months, and I feel that I've gotten really close with them. They are cousins but aren't too close other than the music, and they've been playing together for about 2 years. Upon joining with them, I felt like everything was really promising. Other than the fact that we couldn't find a drummer, there was no drama.

So that's part 1 of my rant- DRUMMERS ARE FLAKES. We put up a very nice add on cl looking for our fourth member. "Alt/indie/modern rock band with practice space looking for serious drummer to fill our set. 7 songs ready for the studio. record, gig, practice 2x week." Look's good right? Well we get like three responces from potential percussionists and set up dates to meet with all three at our space to feel them out.

Number's one (female with pop backround- AWESOME) cancels on us an hour before her audition.. on a day where we changed up our schedual to meet with her, no less. Number two (punky mid 20's guy) shows up and jams hard, leaving us pretty happy and promising, but on his way out says "ehhh idk if dis is for meh." We were blown away, because our band DESERVES a sick drummer. And number three lied in his responce and ended up being a 50 year old washed up drunk so we never called him back.

So, things aren't looking very good for my little band. It just seems like no one appreciates or respects the work that we put into this prjoect. But we keep moving forward. Writing songs, practicing 2x weekly, making the best of it.

THEN (queue rant part 2)

My vocalist decides to walk because of a lack of "creative expression." I'm like what. the. fudge.

It came from nowhere, was totally unrelated to any of our other problems, and didn't make any sense. My guitarist and I were giving him all the freedom he wanted to write lyrics and sing songs the way he wanted. He is actually a damn good singer but, he hadn't really written anything since we moved into our new practice space 3 months ago. My guitarist would just come in with a sheet full of lyrics and say, "here try these dude." And Bon Jovi would just go along with it and add no creativity.

Basically what I'm saying is that he had no reason to walk on us like that. If anything, we should be the ones searching for a new frontman as well as drums... But we're mates, and we just don't do that. I feel like I'm the perfect bandmate, if you don't like my style and I respect your opinion, I'll change it to make us both happy. I don't just walk out on you and leave you in the cold.

AND this is all happening the day after I personally have our logo made, and make a sticker order- totaling around $220!!!! What am I gonna do with 1000 stickers with a band that isn't really together anymore?!?!??!? lol... idk, its sad.

Do I stick with our current project and piece things back together basically from scratch with the guitarist, or do I eat the stickers and try to join up with a more complete band?

Soo much drama.

 

[TRCat]

Feel you pain dude. However, if this was easy than everybody would be doing it. How do the remaining members feel, what do they want to do? You've invested time and fortune - press forward!

 

[marijn van gils]

Welcome to being in a band!

In my experience, if this is all the personel changes - difficulties you had to endure so far, you're actually rather lucky! It can be so much worse...

If you're happy with the other band members and the music you make, don't give up and just search for replacements, even if this is far from fun.
And be prepared, stuff like this will happen again sooner or later, I can guarantee that to you, so try not to let it get you down.

Also, try not to expect respect for your hard work for the band from anyone, especially not from people who are not in the band but also not from band members. This will only end up frustrating you, so only do that work for your own pleasure and/or to achieve your own goals.

 

[Dave W]

As for drummer #2 saying it wasn't for him and being blown away by that, if he wasn't into he wasn't into it. It's not a knock on you guys or your abilities. Maybe it just wasn't his style for whatever reason.

It's better to find that out now than put months into it with the guy only to find this out later down the road.

 

[mellowinman]

Every loser who walks opens the door for that really great player who clicks.

We've taken three years to get our lineup right, and now that we have it, I don't miss any of the people who didn't work out. Their replacements were always WAAAAY better.

My advice is DON'T SETTLE.

Only take the ones that make magic. And then make dam sure YOU make magic.

Do you know what you'll end up with?

Magic.

 

[Waffles and Scotch]

So far the only flake you've mentioned is the female drummer that cancelled an hour before rehearsal...the 50yr old just BS'd you, and might have genuinely thought his performance would outweigh any concerns you had over his age...who knows...

The 2nd drummer showed up, played well, and was straight up with you in stating he didn't think he'd be a good fit. He didn't waste your time. I say good for him. It's pretty rare to find those types of folks on CL.

The fact that your singer would just go along with your lyrics/suggestions without adding any creativity tells me he never was, or no longer is, into your music. I ran into a similar situation about a year and a half ago in the band I'm currently in. I worked through it by spending a lot of time re-writing all my bass parts, which gave the songs a new feel and challenged me, but I could've easily said I just wasn't digging the music anymore and moved on. At least he was honest with you.

I'm not saying you don't have the right to be upset - you certainly do, and I would if I were in your shoes, but these things happen. As marijn van gils said, welcome to being in a band!

 

[Waffles and Scotch]

It's better to find that out now than put months into it with the guy only to find this out later down the road.

Exactly. Same goes for the vocalist IMO.

 

[lfmn16]

And you are just now noticing that the world of musicians is full of flakes??

I've been playing in bands for 40 years and it's the one thing that hasn't changed!!

 

[P. Aaron]

Forming and keeping a band together is a lot of work. Bands can be very fragile things, regardless of any appearances of looking, acting, or seemingly being 'together'.

Things can seem to never happen or, stay strong for sustained periods only to fall apart all at once for silly reasons.

Thus is the course of human events.

 

[llatikcuf]

If you never had a drummer the band was never really together, IMO. You got waaaay ahead of yourself by spending money on promotion (logo and stickers). Before you commit to playing the VMAs take a deep breath and realize that finding the right people is an exercise in patience and luck.

 

[jsbachonbass]

Wow! And people wonder why more experienced musicians won't touch start up projects. I hate to say this, but the good drummer could probably see this coming.

So far the only flake you've mentioned is the female drummer that cancelled an hour before rehearsal...the 50yr old just BS'd you, and might have genuinely thought his performance would outweigh any concerns you had over his age...who knows...

The 2nd drummer showed up, played well, and was straight up with you in stating he didn't think he'd be a good fit. He didn't waste your time. I say good for him. It's pretty rare to find those types of folks on CL.

The fact that your singer would just go along with your lyrics/suggestions without adding any creativity tells me he never was, or no longer is, into your music. I ran into a similar situation about a year and a half ago in the band I'm currently in. I worked through it by spending a lot of time re-writing all my bass parts, which gave the songs a new feel and challenged me, but I could've easily said I just wasn't digging the music anymore and moved on. At least he was honest with you.

I'm not saying you don't have the right to be upset - you certainly do, and I would if I were in your shoes, but these things happen. As marijn van gils said, welcome to being in a band!

Exactly. I would even argue that the female drummer didn't really flake out, because she wasn't involved long term and actually gave you you notice. I think that flakes are people who will commit to a project, and then not show without any notice to half the rehearsals,

My first though about the singer was he had probably been posting one of those "how do I tell my friends I don't wan't to play with them anymore" threads on whatever forum singers use. He wasn't into it anymore, he just didn't know how to tell you guys, and then the drummer thing probably made him snap.

 

[celestialtrash]

Thanks everybody for your kind words. It's going to take some time, but I really see good things coming with this current project. Which is why I'm not totally bummed about the marketing thing. Bands lose members all the time, just gotta keep my head up and press on.

I was just pissed about nobody giving us any respect for anything we've done this far. Not showing up for an audition really sets me off the edge because I know I would never do that. Once you commit to be there, you should do it. Or at least give a days notice, it just makes you look bad. As far as the good drummer saying he wasn't feeling it, I guess he had plans to play with a punk band which was more "fun" for him. It didn't bother me since he told us straight up. Tho I was rolling my eyes all over that little statement.

The fat and drunk 50 year old drummer, yea I'm all set. His skill definitely didn't outweigh his presence either. It was like we found sasquatch and put him on skins. Sloppy.

 

[bassbully]

Never print anything except maybe a cheap poster with a new bands name on it. Give it time before you do or it will be lesson learned.

 

[IncX]

a lot of good things has been said ... so ill just go and say form a new band, and keep the name. at least you already have 1000 stickers to get you started.

 

[Dave W]

As far as the good drummer saying he wasn't feeling it, I guess he had plans to play with a punk band which was more "fun" for him. It didn't bother me since he told us straight up. Tho I was rolling my eyes all over that little statement.

Why were you rolling your eyes over that?

You said he was a "punky mid 20's" drummer. Stands to reason he'd probably prefer playing a punk band, no?

It's perfectly okay for people to have different taste in music. Sometimes you don't know what you're in for until you get to the audition. It's possible that you know you don;t like the music going into it...and that changes once you hear it and meet everybody. It certainly goes the opposite way too. Everything sounds great over the phone, then you get there and meet a bunch of mediocre douches. (I'm NOT saying that's you guys...just an extreme example)

 

[Factor88]

It just seems like no one appreciates or respects the work that we put into this prjoect.

Why should they? What are you offering them? Are there gigs on the books? Are some of the band members REALLY well connected in the local music scene, meaning that you are just a drummer away from lots of opportunities? You say you have 7 songs ready for the studio...but that's your opinion, might not be reality, and everyone reading your CL ad knows it.

Honestly, it sounds to me like you are another "start-up" original band with no immediate prospects. You are a dime a dozen. I realize that sounds insulting but I challange most of the folks on this board to say it probably ain't the truth.

And then you come on here whining that you tried to audition all of THREE drummers (great sample size, by the way) and nobody respects you for all your hard work? All I have to say is, wait until you finally start playing out as an original band, and look at your pay at the end of a gig. Then you'll know what it is REALLY like to be disrespected!

 

[5StringBlues]

Frank Zappa - Flakes - YouTube

 

[fishdreams]

I was just pissed about nobody giving us any respect for anything we've done this far.

With all due respect, you come across as if you feel you are entitled to all sort of things, and that you consider the musicians you audition as tools instead of people. Respect is mutual. All you have to show for, judging from this thread, is your own perception of how awesome the not-quite-yet-existing project is. Maybe drummer #2 was very politely telling you he was way out of your league. He couldn't have handled it better. It is a 2-way street-there has to be something in it for the drummer too, and that is the basis upon which you can build a healthy band.

You have a musical vision and you want to make that happen-fantastic! Just do whatever it takes (150 auditions, whatever) and don't let anybody's limitations including your own get in the way.

 

[Waffles and Scotch]

All I have to say is, wait until you finally start playing out as an original band, and look at your pay at the end of a gig. Then you'll know what it is REALLY like to be disrespected!

...or wait until you get a call from a new venue you just played at and they say "You guys are really good! We want you to come back!" (...30 seconds tossing dates back and forth and then...) "So what kind of music do you play again?"

 

[fishdreams]

...or wait until you get a call from a new venue you just played at and they say "You guys are really good! We want you to come back!" (...30 seconds tossing dates back and forth and then...) "So what kind of music do you play again?"

...or wait (true stories all...)
-till you get kicked out of the band you started yourself for "not playing at a professional level" ...
-till you play a good show in front of a horribly mismatched audience (bikers who were cranky because a drug deal had just gone south..)
-till you step onto stage in front of a full house, and keep standing on stage for 2 hours b/c the venue-supplied FOH guy never showed and nobody knows how to handle the PA.
-till you know there is going to be a killer live review of your band in a major national newspaper the next day and then a major artist dies that same day and instead of your review, all the art pages are filled with are his obituaries.