You are not alone. I have tried for years in Atlanta just to find a simple cover band that has it's poopie together and plays a gig to 30 people once a month. Nearly impossible.
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Frustrated with Band Situation
- Thread starter jdwinva
- Start date
It's been a while since I looked for a band, but my experience is you can't wait for people to "get back to you" anymore, because they never do. You have to contact them. By now I probably would have talked to the guy several more times, asked if I could have an audition, requested charts, started working on their material (if charts are forthcoming) and inquired if / when they needed me to sub for the guy who's leaving. Probably would have set something up to have coffee with the BL, etc., gone to several, or all of their gigs, and started to chat up the other players (all in a persistent but low key manner). That kind of thing.
Sometimes BL's, etc., just ignore you anyway for many reasons. Like, for instance, they already have somebody hand picked for the job. I remember 5,600 years ago if you were a halfway decent player, at least in the San Francisco Bay Area anyway, with a little effort you could usually find a band to play in. Nowadays, I think there are way more players than there are bands, sessions, gigs, etc., to absorb them. So I think you would have to step up your game quite a bit to compensate.
Back in the day, if you had a good reputation, waiting for the call was enough. People would seek you out. I'm afraid those days are long gone. Even with an excellent referral like you had, you probably still have to hustle your tail feathers off to get positions anymore. Good luck.
You're not wrong. Maybe I need to be more aggressive. With this particular situation, the BL contacted me first, and in my reply, I told him I was interested in chatting on the phone or meeting up. He didn't acknowledge that request in his reply, and said "I'll get back to you." I did follow up a couple days ago to ask if they were still looking, would still like to chat/meet up/etc, and no response. Maybe he's not auditioning yet, or maybe they already found someone and he's blowing me off. And regarding the idea of going to gigs, they're primarily a private event band, so their schedule isn't public. With this one, there's only so much I can do on my end.
I'll definitely take your advice, though. It may not be applicable to every situation, but it will be for many. I'm also looking for a non-music job, which compounds the frustration a bit.
Interesting situation. All of the things I heroically suggested while sitting in front of my computer are, of course, easier said than done. But yeah, these days you do have to hustle, that's for sure. Sounds like you already know that, though. It's hard to say what might be going on with that BL. It's a red flag that he isn't giving you the courtesy of returning your calls, even if he contacted you first. Nobody is that busy. Makes me wonder what it would be like working with this guy. I don't know what the best way to proceed with him is. You may want to try communicating with him one more time, and then shine it on. Hustling and kissing somebodies #$%$# are two different things. I'll do the former, no problem, but I've never been very good at the later. I pay the price for that, but that's how it is, I guess.
<At this point, I'm trying to decide if I have the patience for this anymore. Sometimes it doesn't seem worth it.>
I think whether it's worth it or not to pursue a playing situation these days depends entirely on the people you are able to hook up with. You might get lucky and score a good situation right away. Or not. I'm assuming that like the vast majority of us here on TB, your counting on the non-music job to pay the bills. Wouldn't it be easier to concentrate on the non-music job first and stabilize your situation in your new city before you take on the madness and frustrations of the music business? Good grief! Your putting a lot of pressure on yourself trying to do both at once, you know. Maybe it would be far less stressful and possibly even more productive to focus on one goal at a time. Your bass isn't going anywhere. Good luck.
Thanks, I appreciate it. I agree that looking for both is too stressful, but since I don't really know anyone in this new city, I was hoping that finding a musical outlet would also lead to making some new friends. I've met some of my closest friends playing music, and I hope to continue that tradition here at some point. But it's apparently going to be more difficult than expected. I just tire quickly of the endless back and forth. It's kind of like dating - either we're gonna go out, or we aren't. If we aren't, that's cool. Just say so.
With the other situation, I'll give the guy one more shot, then I'm done. If he's interested in having me audition, he knows how to find me.
LOL. I definitely get that concept.
And that's why I suggest printing up a bunch of business cards, attending some gigs, and offering to sub. The busiest players in my region inevitably run into scheduling conflicts, and it's very rare that a steadily-gigging band will turn down a gig because their bass player isn't available on a particular date. It takes a certain amount of chutzpah to walk up to the stage and solicit a bass player or a bandleader during a break, but it can pay off in spades. Cue up the Eagles' "In the Long Run" (1979).
Admittedly I'm biased, and I should have gone with best "cover" or bar band. IMO, the "fabulous armidillos", ( not sure but I think there may be some people from collective unconscious in this show as well) and I may consider the other band but admittedly, I've never actually seen them. It's Just the idea of playing through your hair catching on fire has swayed me.
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it happens of course, but if you want to play live, you can't be so picky. and it really helps to go out to music stores and music venues/bars and get yourself out there and let people know you are available.
i was working at my hospital one day and passed some guy talking to a nurse about how he plays guitar and sings. i start a conversation with him and give him my number telling him to call me if he needs a lead guitar player or bassist, and that i play anything from country, blues, metal and classic rock. and have been gigging since the 80's. i am gear-ready, have my own transport and available at anytime.
that was 6 months ago.
i get a text one day from him asking to speak to me in person asap. we bump into each other at the hospital the next day and says he lost his bass player, and wanted to know if i was interested. i said sure. he told me 3 songs to learn and to meet him at 6pm that night. so i did. him and the pedal steel player liked me enough so they gave me the set list of 100 songs and said they want me to gig in 4 weeks. we usually play for 3 to 4 hours.
that was 2 months ago, and i have been doing 1 to 2 shows per week with this band, and getting paid okay. at least i think i am. lol. i don't know what "good pay" is anymore, but my cut is usually around $200 per show.
so i got lucky i think, because i like my fellow musicians and the music we play. things are NOT perfect at all, and there's a ton i would change about the band. some things i would have even quit over when i was 20 years younger and more impulsive. now, i'm grateful to be playing and i'm making a LOT of connections with other musicians and bands.
seriously, just get yourself out there.
i was working at my hospital one day and passed some guy talking to a nurse about how he plays guitar and sings. i start a conversation with him and give him my number telling him to call me if he needs a lead guitar player or bassist, and that i play anything from country, blues, metal and classic rock. and have been gigging since the 80's. i am gear-ready, have my own transport and available at anytime.
that was 6 months ago.
i get a text one day from him asking to speak to me in person asap. we bump into each other at the hospital the next day and says he lost his bass player, and wanted to know if i was interested. i said sure. he told me 3 songs to learn and to meet him at 6pm that night. so i did. him and the pedal steel player liked me enough so they gave me the set list of 100 songs and said they want me to gig in 4 weeks. we usually play for 3 to 4 hours.
that was 2 months ago, and i have been doing 1 to 2 shows per week with this band, and getting paid okay. at least i think i am. lol. i don't know what "good pay" is anymore, but my cut is usually around $200 per show.
so i got lucky i think, because i like my fellow musicians and the music we play. things are NOT perfect at all, and there's a ton i would change about the band. some things i would have even quit over when i was 20 years younger and more impulsive. now, i'm grateful to be playing and i'm making a LOT of connections with other musicians and bands.
seriously, just get yourself out there.
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Thanks everyone. Great and thoughtful advice! I am now on the "networking circuit" to connect with as many local musicians and bands as possible to see if I can find a good situation. I'm also going to put out a CL "Bassist Available" ad that spells out what I'm looking for to see if that produces any results. Not a big open mic guy but I might check out a few just to get my name and face out there as well.
For those of you referring to “open mics”: is this what’s also referred to as a “jam night?” Like, where up and coming bands/artists sign up for time slots to showcase their material? I did a bit of searching, and there didn’t seem to be anything like that in my area at all. Just comedy and poetry/spoken word open mic nights.
Depends. Many open mics have a list of folks that play solo acoustic for 15 minute slots. Sometimes there is an open jam at the end. Some jam sessions are just that, drum kit and all...bands are put together on the spot. Learn quick!
open mike and jam are sometimes used interchangeably but they can be very different too.
I think there's one of these for every metro area: Open Mic Baltimore
I guessed at Baltimore, but search for your area...
Here's another one: Open Mics in Baltimore, MD (openmikes.org)
or this one, if you prefer Facebook contacts: Open Mic Baltimore
There are a lot of open mikes that are genre-specific. In Philadelphia, I can find a blues event any night of the week. There's another 3-4 jazz.
And some are, as you noted, aimed at singer-songwriter solo or duo acts. And some cater to comedy... Some let you do almost anything for 15 minutes a night...
"Often" a 'jam' is more highly structured, and almost always genre-specific.
I usually advise checking out an event before committing to it; quality and tolerance of the host can vary greatly. *Some* can be very cliquish, and if you're not in the host guy's inner circle, it can be unpleasant. Some have the same 6 guys show up every week and play the same 3 songs. Sometimes the house band will hog the stage for a 1-hr 'opening' set and a 30-minute closer - and everybody else gets rushed in between, as if they're doing you a huge favor.
But MOST, and almost all blues events I have attended, have been very accommodating and welcoming.
Got it. Blues and jazz are definitely not my thing, but I definitely appreciate the info. Maybe there's something out there that will fall in my areas of interest. I'll keep looking.
