Funny Quotes?

[ScoobyDoo]

"There are only 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary and those who don't."

"If guns cause crime, then spoons cause Rosie to be fat."

 

[KeiBau]

"Many questions are unanswerable. Many answers are questionable."

 

[embellisher]

"The fabric of reality is woven from the threads of our dreams"

 

[Mike Money]

Originally posted by dryheatbob
"Tell Jesus to get his own cat!"

That's what my four year old daughter told me, tears in her eyes, when I tried to explain to her that her cat had died and went to heaven to be with Jesus.

We got a new cat the next weekend.

Bob

Pwned.

 

[Jack]

While this should be appropriate, ill understand if it is deleted.

"More and more of our imports are coming from overseas." - George Bush

Mind you, if you think about it, Americans probably get imports from Canada and Mexico etc. Which arent really overseas.

 

[Blackbird]

"I refuse to belong to a club that would have me as a member"

-Groucho Marx

"Outside of a dog, a book's a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."

-Ibid

"We must go forward to the future or past to the back"

-Dan Quayle

 

[Aaron]

"If killing people was actually stealing lives, then couldn't you live forever if you killed enough people?"

 

[Brendan]

Originally posted by Blackbird
"I refuse to belong to a club that would have me as a member"

-Groucho Marx

Also (I believe) Groucho:

I've had a perfectly good time, and this wasn't it.

 

[Bigfeet]

"Incoming mail!!" -texas chainsaw massicre two

"Lawn darts are quite possibly the best thing to threaten somebody with, because if you have to go through with it, it could be considered an accided. Yeah, don't piss me off in my back yard." -me at my friends halloween party

"I'm going to make a bar called between these legs, so we can the slogan 'friday night women drink free between these legs'" -My friend Brianna

"If you sacrificed all the virgins you slept with instead of having sex with them, you'de be the high chefton of hell." -My friend Whitie making fun of my promiscuity

"Yeah, but just think of all the others... I'm suprised he doesn't kill ground when he walks over it." -My friend Litho agreeing with Whitie

"You're such a whore" -both together

"Don't blame me if women have bad taste!" -me in defense of myself

"Baby, I'd spit sugar to sweet talk you" -my favorite pickup line to use on women with bad taste

 

[Blackbird]

"When I was born, I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother"

-Rodney Dangerfield