Yeah, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to go ahead and disagree with you there...Have you ever been to a Who gig?
It's rock. It's suposed to be loud. Exactly how loud is a relative matter to be agreed upon (hopefully) by the creators - which is you and your band mates. Every guitard in the world thinks he can't get "his tone" unless those tubes are fully saturated and glowing bright blue. (OK, not "every" one, just 99% of them.)
Yes, there is good logic to keeping your stage volume as low as possible. That's dictated mostly by how loud your drummer plays. You have to be loud enough to hear the other instruments from the other side of the stage - as well as yourself. The quietest way to do this is to put everything in the monitors - especially if you're using in-ear monitors. The loudest way to do this is to just use your amps without any reinforcement in the monitors.
There are many good reasons to keep your stage volume as low as possible - and to use hearing protection. But DAMN, it sure sounds better loud to most of us, doesn't it?
Did you ever try to play "My Generation" or "The Kids Are All Right" at a "reasonable volume"? It hurts - kinda like holding in gas when you're at church. IMHO