The 4 PRO should have the gain knob set so the Red LED is constantly lighting up - ignore the manual on this one. Leave all knobs flat and don't push the buttons in. Turn the bass knob to cut some of the low end to about a 3.5 out of 10 setting. The 410hlf is a low end powerhouse and you SHOULD never boost the low end into this cab, it will run out of power extremely quickly if you do that. If you set the input gain like I told you, you will have plenty of low end at your finger tips.
Boosting the EQ and basically having all knobs at the same level of boost is just like turning the volume up. The 4 PRO and the 410hlf are not very articulate or very strong in the high end world until you knock down some of the inherent low end push of BOTH units. The 4 PRO's flat settings equate for a strong low end presence. If you want, notch the EQ slider at 33 hz down a little too. By doing all of this, you will hear more low mids, mids, and highs. You will still have low end, just not a mountain of it. Now try your rig out, and definitely talk to the other guitarist about his volume. If you don't win, 2 ear plugs and the rig set up the way I suggested should work wonders.
Also, I suggest refraining from changing your tone for every song. The way I do it, I set the controls on my bass flat and only mess with the PU balancer knob, set the amp to sound good for finger style with a little clarity. For pick playing or more clarity, I just play closer to the bridge PU. If you want a rounder tone, just play closer the neck. You would be surprised how much tone change you can get doing this.