Girlfriend in Band Part 2

[Bassamatic]

I have to agree with the earplugs - helped me a lot. I just put one in on the drummer side.

Please do note that not everyone has good pitch perception. This aptitude ranges from fantastic (like being able to name all the notes in a random piano chord) to dismal.

I worked with a girl that did everything she could for several years - lessons, coaching, etc. and could not get on pitch. She was off just a little, but it was there, and noticeable. Her friends were too kind to say anything and let her spend her time and money for years. She finally gave up and became a financial consultant and is much more successful and happy!

IF (the big IF) Robin has pitch discrimination issues, it doesn't mean she can't be in the band, just not singing. Let's hope it is just the monitoring.

 

[Adam Bomb]

Well guys, it's been over 6 mos since I posted on TB that Robin had joined my band. A lot has changed since then. We renamed the band, that caused so much friction that we ended up letting our guitarist and drummer go. Too much drama over the band name change and some other reasons forced us to find other musician's 3 weeks before a gig. No longer is this my band it is our band and our project. She has come a long way with over coming stage fright and is getting better at working a crowd. Although that last part still needs some work. She has started writing material, melody and words. Some of it is good, catchy phrases.

We've been networking in the local scene since we started this project. Robin and I go see other bands and meet club owners in person and that is working for us. Well we talked to a local full time guy we met at a gig, he recommends a drummer to us. Turns out he saw us at a gig back in Feb and he remembered and liked us.

We jam at a local open jam and we click, sounds tighter than our original guy. He calls a guitarist that is available, that first rehearsal we put together about 25 covers that we both already knew. Gig in 10 days. We cram a few songs they cram a few more. We plan on getting by with 32 or 33 for a full night.

Gig gets cancelled due to a double booking incident that another band put the club owner on the spot for. We moved our gig back 2 weeks to a date the drummer had booked already. Hooray for more prep time.

Anyway I just wanted to update all the cool people that encouraged us, we are stronger than ever, sound better than ever and are getting invited back to clubs we play at. We are getting gigs where a lot of other bands around here do not.

Robin and I are having fun, there is a lot of chemistry between the new guys and us when we are on and we click. Our new guitarist has amazing technique and feel. Is a fellow Jersey native and shares my birthday. He works as a product manager at Dean guitar's and has shared a stage with Michael Angelo Badio.

What a job, working with artist's like MAB and Dave Mustaine, although I hear DM is a total douche bag.

Some recent video's for those that suggested some songs to us 6 months ago. As of today we have gigged 6 times and rehearsed 3 or 4. Things are going well for us weekend warriors


Creep

Dead Eye Dick - New Age girl
Heartbreaker
Let er Rip

Hi:

I tried to find Part 1 of this saga but have so far been unable. So I lack background. And maybe I'm just grumpy b/c I'm at work. But I am going to play devil's advocate for a minute, so please bear with me (or ignore me entirely).

You're that guy?

Few things excite me more - and by that I mean that pretty much nothing excites me more - than when my wife says, "I should learn how to play the drums." If my wife ever even just buys a kit, I'll never leave the house again. That said, I've always figured that, if we were in a band together, we'd start one. I wouldn't be like, "Hey guys, I met this awesome drummer, 15 years ago, at our wedding. And that is who is auditioning for my band right now. Please let me know what you think!" (And I again I lack info so IDK what the circumstances of your GF's addition to the band, other than what you mentioned above.)

I have been in bands run by a couple, and while it is always weird, it isn't always weirder than any other band. My current band is a dude and his dad and his uncle, and me and the drummer. And it's great. But, I note that the drummer and I joined this band. If I had had to sit through an "audition" by the bandleader's son, it would have been awkward. (He's awesome but still.)

If she were Amy Winehouse reincarnated, maybe. But - and I trust you know this - there are many other singers that are at least as talented and experienced as your GF currently is. Hard to say without knowing you, or anything, but, watching the Creep video, I wondered if she would have gotten the job if you two had been strangers.

I am not trying to pee in anybody's Kool-Aid. And it seems likely that this was all covered in Part 1. But I felt compelled to say all this b/c it seemed like the elephant in the livingroom after "Hey, guys, here's the update on my GF joining the band: half the band quit and here's a video of a recent gig."

You are an awesome BF and I'm sure she is an awesome GF and neither I nor bandmates nor TB nor anyone else matter in comparison. Just wanted to be sure to let you know I know that.

--Bomb

 

[PopaWoody]

I have to agree with the earplugs - helped me a lot. I just put one in on the drummer side.

Please do note that not everyone has good pitch perception. This aptitude ranges from fantastic (like being able to name all the notes in a random piano chord) to dismal.

I worked with a girl that did everything she could for several years - lessons, coaching, etc. and could not get on pitch. She was off just a little, but it was there, and noticeable. Her friends were too kind to say anything and let her spend her time and money for years. She finally gave up and became a financial consultant and is much more successful and happy!

IF (the big IF) Robin has pitch discrimination issues, it doesn't mean she can't be in the band, just not singing. Let's hope it is just the monitoring.

IMHO, she has great ability to tell when something is not dead on the money. She can tell when I am off, or out of tune with my bass. That tells me that stage monitoring could be improved vastly and only doing songs she is completely comfortable with.

One of the topics we discussed recently was tuning down for songs that are harder for her to hit. It worked for that Grace Potter and the nocturnals song.

Thanks for the input TB! This place is invaluable to me.

 

[PopaWoody]

Hi:

I tried to find Part 1 of this saga but have so far been unable. So I lack background. And maybe I'm just grumpy b/c I'm at work. But I am going to play devil's advocate for a minute, so please bear with me (or ignore me entirely).

You're that guy?

Few things excite me more - and by that I mean that pretty much nothing excites me more - than when my wife says, "I should learn how to play the drums." If my wife ever even just buys a kit, I'll never leave the house again. That said, I've always figured that, if we were in a band together, we'd start one. I wouldn't be like, "Hey guys, I met this awesome drummer, 15 years ago, at our wedding. And that is who is auditioning for my band right now. Please let me know what you think!" (And I again I lack info so IDK what the circumstances of your GF's addition to the band, other than what you mentioned above.)

I have been in bands run by a couple, and while it is always weird, it isn't always weirder than any other band. My current band is a dude and his dad and his uncle, and me and the drummer. And it's great. But, I note that the drummer and I joined this band. If I had had to sit through an "audition" by the bandleader's son, it would have been awkward. (He's awesome but still.)

If she were Amy Winehouse reincarnated, maybe. But - and I trust you know this - there are many other singers that are at least as talented and experienced as your GF currently is. Hard to say without knowing you, or anything, but, watching the Creep video, I wondered if she would have gotten the job if you two had been strangers.

I am not trying to pee in anybody's Kool-Aid. And it seems likely that this was all covered in Part 1. But I felt compelled to say all this b/c it seemed like the elephant in the livingroom after "Hey, guys, here's the update on my GF joining the band: half the band quit and here's a video of a recent gig."

You are an awesome BF and I'm sure she is an awesome GF and neither I nor bandmates nor TB nor anyone else matter in comparison. Just wanted to be sure to let you know I know that.

--Bomb

It's all good Bomb! here is the first installment in our chapter.

http://www.talkbass.com/forum/f32/so-i-asked-my-gf-front-our-band-703967/

We were not having much luck with our Vocalist at the time she was given an audition. I stayed out of the voting process and left it up to the other band members. If they were ok with it - I was ok with it. I did not play favorites or force the issue at all. She was accepted and rather expediously rushed onto stage to get her feet wet. As they say the rest is history.

Part of me thinks that if she was perfect and sang like a lark...should would not being doing this with me. A few bumps along the way only builds character and with more experience comes more presense and confidence.

 

[lowendgenerator]

You guys my might want to consider changing the key on a few of those songs to better match her natural pitch. Creep was rough. It seemed like she couldn't get any oomph into the notes because they were too low. Heartbreaker was good. Let er Rip was good, she held it in key great, right in her range.

She does seem a bit stiff on stage, but that will fade with a few hundred more gigs.

 

[fishtx]

OK...just my opinion...and no offense intended...

I listened to all the songs on the reverb nation link at the bottom of your (Red Sunday) sig...Because I wanted to really get a feel for your music before I commented...Your band (instrumentally) sounds really good...nice time, nice tone...good job...but your singer is weak...she's flat, has no phrasing to speak of, and sings in a really deep monotone kinda voice that (to me) just doesn't emphasize or stand up to the level of the rest of the band...

I also noticed she is listed as managing your band? Was this a "group" decision as well?

I may be totally wrong here, and again this is just an assupmtion, but if I read between the lines, I think you know she is not up to par, but because she is your girlfriend, you are stuck between a rock and a hardplace. She's in...and it's going to be tough to get her out without affecting your romantic relationship with her...I feel for you.

 

[PopaWoody]

OK...just my opinion...and no offense intended...

I listened to all the songs on the reverb nation link at the bottom of your (Red Sunday) sig...Because I wanted to really get a feel for your music before I commented...Your band (instrumentally) sounds really good...nice time, nice tone...good job...but your singer is weak...she's flat, has no phrasing to speak of, and sings in a really deep monotone kinda voice that (to me) just doesn't emphasize or stand up to the level of the rest of the band...

I also noticed she is listed as managing your band? Was this a "group" decision as well?

I may be totally wrong here, and again this is just an assupmtion, but if I read between the lines, I think you know she is not up to par, but because she is your girlfriend, you are stuck between a rock and a hardplace. She's in...and it's going to be tough to get her out without affecting your romantic relationship with her...I feel for you.

She is managing, due to her innane ability to get us gigs. I really do not want her out. to be honest I don't think she's weak in the vocal dept. I do think we might need to adjust to fit her into the band better. She came in and took 30 covers we were doing and attempted to make them work. obviously we can't have all of them work, so we are adjusting our set list, while we weed out the stuff that does not work.

 

[Adam Bomb]

It's all good Bomb! here is the first installment in our chapter.

http://www.talkbass.com/forum/f32/so-i-asked-my-gf-front-our-band-703967/

We were not having much luck with our Vocalist at the time she was given an audition. I stayed out of the voting process and left it up to the other band members. If they were ok with it - I was ok with it. I did not play favorites or force the issue at all. She was accepted and rather expediously rushed onto stage to get her feet wet. As they say the rest is history.

Part of me thinks that if she was perfect and sang like a lark...should would not being doing this with me. A few bumps along the way only builds character and with more experience comes more presense and confidence.

Dude, you are cool as eff and I wish you and the whole band the best of luck and success. You deserve it.

--Bomb

 

[tycobb73]

Can you tell that those recordings are bad? You put them up on youtube and bragged to us about how good she was. That is a bigger concern than where she's at now to me. I would have never done that. Recorded it, showed her where she was good, etc., but not posted that for the world to see.

 

[Hyssar]

I like her voice and I think she has what it takes.
She just needs a bit more practice/lessons and/or more monitoring on stage.

I mean, 99% of the crowd isn't able to hear that she's a bit off because it's not that obvious, but as others have said, she's the "weakest link" or whatever you wanna call it.

Anyways, keep it up! I really success stories like yours.

 

[Thaos627]

girlfriends in band r always a bad idea. u guys break up and band is over. if she sucks and u tell her then u dont have a girl no more and its all way too much work. besides girls always do what they can to make it "their" band.

most girls dont know what the word compromise means, most think it means guys do everything for them. in a band its all about the band and with girls its all about them

 

[MatticusMania]

You dont sound very experienced with women.

 

[PopaWoody]

Can you tell that those recordings are bad? You put them up on youtube and bragged to us about how good she was. That is a bigger concern than where she's at now to me. I would have never done that. Recorded it, showed her where she was good, etc., but not posted that for the world to see.

Yeah I can tell, however I don't call them bad, we call them sloppy, and they are our learning from mistakes stuff. Most of our stuff is private, I share the link with TB or whoever I want to see it. It's not post it to the world. However some of it needs to be available to get us gigs. We are getting booked, and we are way better than most of the other cover bands around here. I know having witnessed the scene firsthand. There are better, and crowd drawing bands. We are not quite there, but have improved quite a bit..

I'm really surprised that my playing did not get picked apart, I mean this is talk bass and all. Robin got all the attention both good and bad in this thread. On a couple of these songs I presented to the crowd I was;

A. A whole step flat joining the third chorus in New Age girl (Yes I knew it and can hear it ),
B. completely off pocket on Let er rip during the guitar solo. (damn walking lines)
C. Too freaking tall and completely blocked off our drummer Lee when he took lead vocals on new age girl.

I am curious about the harmonies on new age girl. I thought they were on, nothing spectacular, was Robin flat there as well? That was a first time playing it too.

 

[PopaWoody]

You dont sound very experienced with women.

I wast thinking the same thing. Then again, some women make guys think like that.

 

[Thaos627]

quite the opposite im highly experienced with bad women. havent met one i can stand to be around yet. besides after i was left at the alter i decided to stay single forever.

 

[Thaos627]

not to mention my guitar player just got slapped with a divorce. she was the singer in the band and now we dont play anymore

 

[MatticusMania]

quite the opposite im highly experienced with bad women. havent met one i can stand to be around yet. besides after i was left at the alter i decided to stay single forever.

I see, well that makes sense. Good women are out therem trust me! I was married to a bad one for a while, until my blood just about boiled over. Eventually found myself a good one, and its been smooth sailing since. She's in a band as well, just not my band.

 

[Gaius46]

Yeah I can tell, however I don't call them bad, we call them sloppy, and they are our learning from mistakes stuff. Most of our stuff is private, I share the link with TB or whoever I want to see it. It's not post it to the world. However some of it needs to be available to get us gigs. We are getting booked, and we are way better than most of the other cover bands around here. I know having witnessed the scene firsthand. There are better, and crowd drawing bands. We are not quite there, but have improved quite a bit..

I'm really surprised that my playing did not get picked apart, I mean this is talk bass and all. Robin got all the attention both good and bad in this thread. On a couple of these songs I presented to the crowd I was;

A. A whole step flat joining the third chorus in New Age girl (Yes I knew it and can hear it ),
B. completely off pocket on Let er rip during the guitar solo. (damn walking lines)
C. Too freaking tall and completely blocked off our drummer Lee when he took lead vocals on new age girl.

I am curious about the harmonies on new age girl. I thought they were on, nothing spectacular, was Robin flat there as well? That was a first time playing it too.

I haven't heard the clips or watched the video - blocked at work - but a word of advice. Never EVER put something out there that isn't the absolute best you can do. We all have sub par days but I do not want an off-day performance of mine that's been recorded for posterity floating around the Internet.

 

[Marko 1]

I haven't heard the clips or watched the video - blocked at work - but a word of advice. Never EVER put something out there that isn't the absolute best you can do. We all have sub par days but I do not want an off-day performance of mine that's been recorded for posterity floating around the Internet.

Would this be a personal-pride issue, or one that would actually matter in real life?

The OP posted them for his peers to view, and graciously took all constructive, as well as non-constructive criticism.

I personally won’t do that, mostly because I don’t want any criticism, as I know what issues my band has and I don’t want to have to explain, but that’s not necessarily a good thing, just more comfortable for me.

 

[Gaius46]

Would this be a personal-pride issue, or one that would actually matter in real life?

The OP posted them for his peers to view, and graciously took all constructive, as well as non-constructive criticism.

I personally won’t do that, mostly because I don’t want any criticism, as I know what issues my band has and I don’t want to have to explain, but that’s not necessarily a good thing, just more comfortable for me.

It matters in real life. Once you post something on the Internet you effectively lose control over it's distribution. An unflattering video or recording of you or your band can potentially hurt your reputation and your ability to land gigs.

And I'm not just speaking about poor performances. Decent performances that are poorly recorded are just as problematic in my opinion.