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Guitarists say the dumbest things.

I disagree with you on the "gutiarists make better bassists than bassists make guitarists" thing. Most times I've ever seen a guitarist pick up a bass, he make it sound like crap. Fret buzz left and right, attempting to play chords, terribly timing, etc. Most bassists have at least a basic understanding of music theory and can at least play a basic guitar part. That is my experience, anyway.

I know what you mean. I recently played a gig with this band who I think have split up now. Their lead guitarist is incredible - imagine a cross between John Petrucci, Vai and Claudio Sanchez in playing style and you'll know what I mean. Anyways, for one song he swapped instruments with the bassist, plays this awesome little tapping solo and then proceeds to play root notes for the rest of the next song. I spent the rest of the gig with my mouth hanging completely open. What a waste of talent.

But yeah, even when rocking out with TEH SHREDDORZZ!!! he just looked awkward, which was unfortunate.
 
I play in a rock band with two guitarists and a drummer.

Recently, I also joined a part time program at a local TAFE (community) college.

Part of the program involves a jazz ensemble.

...so I was telling my band mates about it, and the lead guitarist comes out with:

"....man - I hate all those jazz guys. They're always playing all of those weird notes and stuff. You're not going to turn into one of them, are you?..."

:hyper:

:rollno:
 
Well, this isn't really gaytar player stupidity per se, but it is funny.

We were at a sound check few days back for a music BOTB, and we noticed my wireless was not co-operating. so i was hobbling around the stage , running around like a mad man trying to find the power box for it, and the receiver too, well my guitarist goes on the mic, because at that time, i had made my way back to the sound booth. he shouts on it:

" hey Corbin! you know who you look like? that stupid little elf guy on lord of the rings!"

from the back, i shout out " Oh, that smeegle whats his face?"

He shouts: " no, that stupid bongo baggins. bongo?..is it bongo, no no, bango, BANGO BAGGINS!"

yah, it was one of those 'had to be there' moments. as this guy says the funniest and stupidest things. like ' yah know, that one show, busting myths!'

-flakeh
 
Last night at band practice we are sitting around shooting the breeze after we had played our set and we were talking about the "almighty" razor cell phone. three of my band members have them. Anyway I was telling them about the voice recognition(sp) on my brothers razor that once the name had been entered into the phone it would automatically say they name so you wouldnt have to program your voice in the recognition. Well after i said that my rythem player looks over at me and say
"ya know that auto voice recognition is probably for deaf people" He was dead serious when he said it for about ten seconds and then he realized what he had just said. Yea it was a good laugh.
 
I know this guitar player that plays about 10 years or so.
The dude DOES NOT HAVE A CLUE about gutar setup, care, repairs, proper TUNINNG etc.

His regular band practice is a constant series of complaints, and Jan, the bass player(a good friend of mine) gets them all:
"Jan, what happend to my cable!?", "Jan, why is my guitar making noises?!", "Jan, why is my amp aint working?!" etc.

One night he came to the band practice and everything was fine. Leaving him nothing to complaint of, he shouts to the bass player:
"JAN, WHY IS MY GUITAR IN TUNE?!?!"
 
I think what's funny about this thread is that probably most of the statements are true it's just that bass players are defensive.

  • Four strings are easier to play than six.
  • Most bass amps do sound the same.
  • The bass should play root notes during a guitar solo unless it's arranged.
  • If the bass is too loud it will make the guitar sound out of tune because your intonation is probably off.
  • Bass players do play too many notes and most of them are not Steve Harris or Geddy Lee, you only think you sound like them if you play too many notes.

All that stuff is a matter of opinion, so I won't comment one way or the other... EXCEPT for number 4. That's just silly.

I would think it should be self evident that improperly tuned instruments, when played together, sound... well...
uh... out of tune?

This goes in the "Bass players say dumb crap" thread.

In fact, that is even sig-worthy!

Edit:
Hey Blip, I didn't really mean that to sound as harsh as it does, upon re-reading it.
It was intended in a joking manner. (Still keeping the sig tho') ;)
 
  • Bass players do play too many notes and most of them are not Steve Harris or Geddy Lee, you only think you sound like them if you play too many notes.

At least some people are trying to get better and improve bass playing in general. The thing I like about guitarists is that most of them are not content on sucking, and simply saying "less is more" when it's brought up.

But, don't let me stop you from being a defeatist pessimist.
 
I think what's funny about this thread is that probably most of the statements are true it's just that bass players are defensive.

  • Four strings are easier to play than six.
  • Most bass amps do sound the same.
  • The bass should play root notes during a guitar solo unless it's arranged.
  • If the bass is too loud it will make the guitar sound out of tune because your intonation is probably off.
  • Bass players do play too many notes and most of them are not Steve Harris or Geddy Lee, you only think you sound like them if you play too many notes.

1: I disagree. Not only because 4 strings make most of the things I play impossible (ok, less likely...) and the fact I do use chords on bass makes it that 6-strings with their closer stringspacing are easier to play for me.

2: This comment is made by either a deaf or stupid person. (or both). I know, I'm into audio-engineering and sure as hell you can tell the difference between amps.

3: Musicians who don't know how to improvise or add to a solo should stick to rootnotes. Those with some ability to play their instrument can improvise or add to the overall sound. (not to say you should do more than root but you're not forced to)

4: Intonation wrong? 1 word: SETUP. If your intonation is off its not my problem.

5: So you've seen a lot of "lead-guitard-players" who think they can play bass. Big deal.
 
Guitarist in my covers band is in his mid-50s and been playing for more years than I've been alive. He's one of my best buddies but he is such a dinosaur and has no sense of timing unless it is battered into his brain in the shape of a loud backbeat and spends most of a gig in his own little world only noticing the rest of us if we head on a completely different tangeant to what he was expecting (like stopping playing altogether or changing key/song midflow)...

"I change the strings on all my guitars once a year, whether they need it or not."

On using IEMs (with guitar in his mix at full blast and everything else virtually off) - "I can hear everything through them as clear as a bell but I can only hear my guitar coming from my amp."

On FOH mix - "I know how much volume to get from my amp so it sits perfectly with the FOH mix." Followed by stooges in the crowd pointing to everyone but him and giving the universal signal for "you need to be louder."

On using 2 x Mesa DC-5 amps side by side at excrutiating volumes even in tiny venues, both with the same settings even though guitar is mic'd for FOH - "I need it to ensure guitar sound is spread out front."

When gigging with a talented but slightly forgetful dep drummer prior to first song, even though guitarist is well known for lack of timing ability...
Drummer: How fast?
Guitarist (before I can get a word in): 1,2,3,4
Me and Drummer start playing, guitarist stands there like the total numpty he is.
 
I've read through some of the posts, a lot of them are hysterical!
Thankfully I don't have a problem with the guitar player in my band. He's been my best friend for eons, he accepts criticism and is always open to suggestions on songs. Guess I'm lucky lol.
 
Since I started this thread,you guys have come up with some great lines! Guitar players,ya gotta love'em! I recently left this particular project after the guitar player seriously lost his temper after being asked to turn down. When you tell somebody especially your best friend,to "step outside and settle this like men",then you have some issues.Turns out he did have some serious issues,all of his own doing. I just picked up my gear and left.Haven't been back.I have a very small tolerance for BS at my age,and just don't want to be around it.Turns out this wasn't his first offense.he's done this 2 other times before,so I figure I got out at the right time. So,I'm away from childish guitar players,for now,but out of a music project. Thanks for the responses folks!
 
I think what's funny about this thread is that probably most of the statements are true it's just that bass players are defensive.

  • Four strings are easier to play than six.
  • Most bass amps do sound the same.
  • The bass should play root notes during a guitar solo unless it's arranged.
  • If the bass is too loud it will make the guitar sound out of tune because your intonation is probably off.
  • Bass players do play too many notes and most of them are not Steve Harris or Geddy Lee, you only think you sound like them if you play too many notes.

I agree:

1. I can play pentatonically on a bass and be a hero (in others' eyes), but I just seem like a dullard doing it on guitar (in my own). I can get away without knowing the difference between major and minor chords. I have lots of room to move my pudgy fingers about. I can give it some welly and not break a string...
2. Amps might sound different when nothing else is going on, but play alongside a couple of guitars and drums and all bass is an indistinct rumble to my ear. And that includes mega wealthy stadium bands I've seen who should be able to afford the clearest bass sound available.
3. If "holding it down" is a good thing, then 4-to-the-floor root notes are generally what you want. And that's not that hard, is it? Perhaps #3 is a consequence of #2?
4. I've NEVER been able to get my bass loud enough, so can't comment.
5. I like lots of bass notes (Shy Boy, Roundabout, all the usual suspects), but I also am in awe of the basslines on Once in a Lifetime (Talking Heads) and Waterfront (Simple Minds). How you can do so much with so little is beyond me.

I bet more of the world's bass players are of an adequate standard for gigging compared to guitarists (proportionally). But that might be because we're cleverer - see this thread.