Have You Ever Left a Successful Band?

[murphy]

Regrets....I've had a few......But then again.....

I did it my way

 

[Bassbeater]

I just left a band that was very successful at explaining to me that they were about to become successful despite all signs pointing elsewhere.

 

[Das Jugghead]

Several times for most of the reasons listed already. Left a great gigging cover band in the eighties. Fantastic guitarist and drummer and all good friends who left on great terms. We just couldn't balance the band's schedule against our jobs and personal lives. Still friends to this day although I am the only member of that group who still plays music.

A few years ago I left/was "relieved of my duties" by a moderately successful hard rock band after our third album. Good music and talented musicians but that was it. I was in the band only because of my best friend who was their lead guitarist. There were political differences that they forced on the rest of us, that the rest of us did not bring up because we felt politics were irrelevant to making music. The rhythm guitarist and singer held politics against the other members of the band which grew like a cancer. The interpersonal issues were just too crazy from trust and control issues to hiding/lying about promotions, money, online followers, etc.... and when I started asking questions they started moving me toward the door. It all came to a head when we were in the studio recording the third album and the lead guitarist, who was finishing grad school, asked for two additional weeks to complete final exams and they fired him thinking I would bail too. I had already paid my portion of the studio fees so I recorded my bass lines and was fired a few months later after asking about when mixing/mastering sessions would be. I found out the rhythm guitarist and singer had been doing all the mixing and mastering with the studio engineer (who then became their lead guitarist) behind the scenes. This was the final straw/confrontation and the end of that gig. I never even got a copy of the album. They pay $500 a month to a management company in California to book gigs for them and tell everyone they are "signed." Glad to have it in the rear view mirror. At least they fired the drummer too.

Currently I am in an all originals band with above mentioned best friend and the music is the best I have ever played/helped write but we just are not going anywhere. Between wives, mortgages, kids, and careers getting everyone in the same room is nigh impossible. I am not leaving the band but I am auditioning for a cover band in two weeks just to get back out there playing again. I have a small side project of myself, a drummer, and a guitarist and we jam weekly but not currently playing.

It is tough leaving a successful band even under bad conditions because for me the music is the reason I do this.

 

[Ric5]

Have You Ever Left a Successful Band?

How do you define successful?

gigging?

many gigging bands make less than minimum wage if you include set up, tear down, rehearsal, equipment purchase, etc …

is that success?

 

[buldog5151bass]

When my son was younger, I was in a cover band that was getting too busy (pretty much every Friday and Saturday, with an occasional weekday gig). Gigs and rehearsals were usually an hour away. Too much for me, unfortunately

 

[sawzalot]

I haven't done it yet but I'm thinking about it. The band is starting to play much bigger stages around here but the BL drinks WAY too much and makes us look (and sound) like amateurs. We wind up wasting our practice effort, which is very frustrating. Plus I'm getting bored of the music. What may be the last straw is I'm growing to really dislike the kind of people drawn to the band, perhaps because of the BL's behavior.

 

[Watchootognbout]

Life is too short to spend time playing music that you don't love or even like.

 

[SteveHeissner]

Yes, I left Aerosmith last year and now I regret it.

I WISH!!!

 

[JRA]

i've been lucky: all but a few of the bands i've played in have been commercially successful, or in the case of a project band, have been very fulfilling. in every case that i can remember, the band broke/disbanded due to folks leaving for greener pastures (drummer left for ponty's gig, guitar left for steely dan, etc.), or to start/star in their own act, or they moved out of town (usually to NYC or LA), or they got sick/diseased or died. all this was years ago and in several of those cases i was generally the yute, or the newbie (on bass), or the weak link.

of the few that had absolutely no chance of any kind of success: they were acts which looked good (or OK) to me going in, but ended (for me) when i realized they were posers more than players...talkers, not walkers.

i've been fired a few times: once from a band which actually had commercial success after making personnel changes --- including me!

i've also started a few bands/acts with the intent of leaving (replacing myself) after things got up-and-running. a couple of them were very successful, locally.

these days = i'm glad to be playing at all, appreciate any opportunity to gig, love to share the love with others/bandmates, and i consider each bar gig, wedding, corporate reception/party the most successful outing if i get home in one piece, spent, but smiling! don't know when i'll 'leave the building' but i intend on having all the fun i can while avoiding the exit signs.
i think a band's success is relative to hard work, passion, risk-taking, and of course, luck!

 

[Ekulati]

Yes, left successful bands, two in fact stand out in my mind. Regret leaving both now, at this point years later. But at the time, I simply needed to do something "else." Live and learn...

 

[knumbskull]

I stopped playing wedding gigs as it wasn't fitting in well with the rest of my life - if that counts.

it was only successful in the sense that I was earning decent money – and that's the only reason i was doing it. on good nights it was fun, but I don't miss it.

 

[redwingxix]

No matter how great something is at some point you will wonder what else is out there. It's human nature. If it wasn't we would all still be living in the middle east or africa having never ventured forth to explore the world, never invented whiskey, and still be playing upright basses.

 

[BassBrass]

Yes, they moved from Boston to Austin and there was no way I was going to do that, for a variety of reasons not the least of which was the heat and ragweed environment there. I love to visit Texas because of the sunsets, unique culture, real texMex food made with life giving lard, and grass that will cut your skin, just lovely, I need a place with lakes, deep forests and the cold Atlantic. Life for the band in Austin proved to be unstable and it ended shortly after. I believe from the heat changing normal behavior.

 

[Tnavis]

I left a regularly gigging jazz/funk/groove group when several minor things combined to help me realize it was time to step away. They were a solid group, I got along with all of them very well, they had several albums worth of originals (one of which I played on), a nice catalog of interesting covers from the genre (i played with them for 8 years and never once played Chameleon), and through them I got to play shows at some of the more prestigious area venues, as well as had a few gigs in nice clubs every month. Something was always missing for me, though. After I started playing in an all originals rock band on the side, I realized that I was just really bored. I compared some live recordings of when I first joined the group to later live recordings, and I was clearly just going through the motions. I was doing both myself and them a disservice, so I put in my resignation. We still get along, and they contact me every once in a while to sub in for their bassist when he can't make shows.

 

[JW56789]

I joined a band that took off and we had better and better gigs, and what turned from a part-time thing where we all still had our day jobs, turned into 6 or 7 nights a week continuously: Great money, but everyone except me quit their day job, I needed both incomes.

So I went for two years with 2-4 hours' sleep Monday thru Friday. I never did dope, and can't play if I drank, so this was all stone-cold sober. Finally . . . . . one night on the way home, I fell asleep at the wheel for approximately 10 miles on a thankfully deserted I95, and woke up one exit before I would have run right off into the Atlantic. Then two months later, I got to my neighborhood, but drove around my block for 30 minutes as I couldn't remember which house was mine. If my wife hadn't come down to the end of the driveway and flagged me down, I guess I'd have run out of gas eventually and still been confused. I earned my master's degree in sleep deprivation.

I resigned the next night.

 

[Spent]

Yes, because they were successful. The constant gigging was limiting family time, my boys were 7 & 11 at the time and I needed to be a dad. I had also just moved from being a teacher to an administrator; decent increase in income but more hours. I gave the band 90 days notice and offered to sub when needed. I did not want to set them back, they worked hard to get where they were. Worked out well, it was three years ago and they're still going strong. We remain good friends and I recently subbed for them. I started a progressive band a few months ago, no risk of weekly gigs now.

 

[SubNoizeRat3691]

I'm in the process of leaving a pretty successful band. They've been playing in the area for ~20 years and are extremely well known. It's a country/classic rock group, which goes over really well in Eastern Iowa but, it's just not what I want to play. I have 2 little kids at home, and one on the way. I don't really have time to spend every weekend playing. While I don't have tons of experience with this sort of gig, the pay seems low at $100/gig.

Reasons for leaving recap:
- uninterested in genre
- busy schedule and home life
- pay isn't what I think it should be

Something to add. While it doesn't bother me, the guitarist is pretty abrasive and not at all tactful. He is an older guy from the Nashville blues scene. He's very good and has little patience for not knowing the material. I know he has already caused my first replacement to bail by "schooling him on material they've been working on for a couple weeks", his words lol.

I offered to be a sub when needed, we've worked out a set list that they will revert to whenever I sub. Easy for everyone!

 

[Wesley R]

I left a successful band. Simply stated it became to much work, and way too many gigs for my needs at the time,very tough decision.

 

[basscapes]

The irony in my life as a bass guitarist came from the fact that the band i played in that had the MOST GIGS also had the CRAPPIEST DRUMMER!!!

While I was downright okay with money and the amount of gigs, it was countered highly by the fact that i couldn't stand that this particular drummer couldn't hold a meter if it had handles, was in a bucket, being carried by a forklift!

Yes, he was actually THAT BAD!

After about three months of gigs, I realized just how crappy he was (and the fact that I tried to lock him in, play with a click, etc), and the last resort- get the guys to "fire the drummer".

Compound that with this issue- the rest of the band even ADMITTED that they KNEW he was crap. But since he didn't drink (like the lead guitarist), didn't have a drug issue (like the lead singer), and never showed up late for rehearsal (like the second guitarist), he was "worth it" to keep around instead of having to get a new drummer and have him learn the songs again.!!!

I finally just gave up and announced I was done after one particular week's worth of gigs. They were floored!

Ironically, the guy who was being brought in to replace me (and actually a good friend!) came to one of our last gigs and was amazed that this band was even getting work. HE actually BEGGED me to stay with them a few more weeks; probably so he could bail gracefully on this! He never did play a gig with them.

Time to move along...

 

[baileyboy]

Life is too short to spend time playing music that you don't love or even like.

Pros often do this. It's called being employed.