Maybe try an adjustable HPF on your in-ears/hearing aid? It’s probably the low bass that’s causing distortion but the mids and upper mids are what help you hear the bass. Move the HFP up until there’s no distortion. The low bass you should still be able to feel.
I’d think you need good EQ and balance control over your in-ear monitor mix. That way you can dial in “more me”.
Maybe over the ear headphone cans with your hearing aids in?
I don't know about an HPF filter. I had a PM conversation with
@agedhorse regarding frequencies and hearing aids. I agree with him that hearing aids are designed for human voice frequencies. I do not believe they are set for ultra lows or ultra highs. The reason for this (and this is just my observation with my hearing loss), when playing bass through an amp, wearing hearing aids at a reasonable volume, I am hearing the mids and feeling the low bass. If I turn the amp up loud, the hearing aids are over powered and distort. This is much better than further hearing damage.
When I try to run the bass directly through the hearing aids (ComPilot), they are being over-driven and distorted from the start. The only way I can practice privately with hearing aids is with the ComPilot, turning the bass down on the bass and amp (or interface like Apogee Jam). I am hearing the mids but not feeling the low bass and the volume has to be low.
I have tried good quality headphones without my hearing aids but, because of my hearing loss, the volume I need causes the headphones to distort. In addition, I am completely isolated from the outside world (no fire alarms, police sirens, wife screaming at me), one of which is not that bad!
In any event, maybe Andy or someone else has a better description of what is going on...