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How do I get past my age?

#21
Illbay said:
I reminded him that the members of that band were about my own age, and he stopped, and blinked at me, started to shake his head, and then said "you know, I never really thought about how old they were, I just dug 'em when I was growing up."

Your "favorite bands" who make the big time are typically ten years or more older than you are.

(As it happens, Wayne Coyne just celebrated his 47th birthday; he's almost exactly the same age as my younger brother, who was three grades behind me in school).
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No question. But everyone in the band is in the same age group.
 
#23
Okay, yes it helps if everyone in the band is in the same stage in life, but we manage, with one weekly rehearsal and an average of one gig every six weeks or so. Not pro, but it suits us and it works considering we're of three different generations (30 with new baby, 44 with two kids, 67 retired grandfather). Now we're looking for a regular weekly or monthly pub/club/restaurant gig.

Anyway, back to the point...

It doesn't hurt to keep yourself as young looking as you can. Some tips:
  • Wear your hair long if you still have some. (Do you look pathetic? Be honest.) Shave it all off or go supershort if you're balding. :bawl:
  • Get yourself in the best physical shape you can - it will help you be a better musician, plus give you a much higher energy level in general, impressing the youngsters. (This includes regular exercise, drinking in moderation and quitting smoking! Oh, and drink lots of water!):hyper:
  • Take your teenage daughter (or niece or nephew or whatever) when you shop for clothes. Listen to his/her advice.:help:
  • Not a physical point, but important nonetheless - Make sure you're up on recent music.:rolleyes:

I don't know if it's easier or harder because I'm a girl, but it works for me.

Now when they ask you over the phone how old you are, you can try something like "Oh, you'll be surprised", or "Old enough to know better" or how about "Well, I'm older than you guys, but I'm not Paul McCartney or anything.:eek:"

Good luck!
BPG
 
#24
I don't know if it's easier or harder because I'm a girl, but it works for me.
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I have a drummer friend with 4 kids and is totally unreliable! She just turned down £5000 plus gig fees for one rehersal and one gig per week because she couldn't commit. She doesn't play that much so she can't be that well known. Playing drums in a red dress and high heels DOES make a difference ........ sex cuts across age, and colour.

Actually discriminating on the basis of age was made illegal last year.
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No, it was 2006 but only covers employment. You can't force people to be friends or lovers. The best you can do is give them an excuse to meet.


Most of the posts have been about whether it right or wrong, and that you are in bands containing different age groups. I'm not talking about changing attitudes. Just looking for a way to get as far as an audition. Tips? clues? BTW Im not a fat, balding, wrinkly:help:
 
#26
The whole, we won't play with older players thing is really getting to be lame. I think its got more to do with western consumer culture, which worships youth. And, BTW, this idea of youth as something glorious in and of itself, is sold to us by 70 year old men in a board room some where!!!

If you hesitate to get involved with another player because s/he is not able/interested in giving a huge commitment, then fine. But that has little to do with age - just simple life situations.

It's getting to be like pro-sports in music. Turn 30, and go away....
 
#27
Ten years ago I had little kids and never had time to practice or be in a band. I have a drummer and guitarist up the lane from me ten years younger than me (both in there early/mid thirties) that tried to come by and play once or twice a month for an hour, they both were too busy with family.

Being 42 I have money/time and when I meet young guys struggling with school/jobs/money no vehicle living in a small apartment it just doesn't pan out. Most young guys live down town and rent a practice room and want to be with other guy there age to meet girls and be a rock star/tour and have memories.

I meet young guys that know more about Classic rock and I know more about new music then them and sometimes its fun just to show up and jam and hope you won't be rejected later by age. The best jam session I went to was with younger guys and I was rejected because of age and sure I'm bitter its another thing you need to learn as a musician and how to deal with it.
 
#28
It depends on your attitude, and theirs. I'm getting to the point where it's harder to find work, and I think part of it is my age. It's probably also because I'm also not looking to be satisfied with playing in my jeans doing old rock and blues tunes. A good "real" blues band might be fun, but I'm more inclined to look for a cover band that covers more than just '60s and '70s. I also don't get pegged for being as old as I am.

gary_weimer.jpg
 
#30
My group is looking for a drummer (still) and the one topic we've never even discussed is age.........we're 24, 30, and 45. What we have talked about was

1. High level of commitment
2. Lack of overblown ego
3. Ability to play the music
4. Clean and sober (no druggies or alcoholics)
5. Fits the personality of the band

I don't care how old they are as long as they can and want to play. We don't even ask ages when talking to people on the phone.

Now, if you have aspirations to tour, that needs to be stated up front. Matter of fact, put it in the ad when looking. That eliminates the "tied down" issues. And just because someone is older/younger doesn't mean they do or don't have "tied down" issues. You're barking up the wrong tree.

Which brings us to the image thing. Image is important yes. But, have you considered that having an "oddball" in the group may also be an image itself? Could be something to play off of image wise.

*back on topic*
If someone asked me how old I am on the phone, I'd ask them if it really mattered......or if the playing was more important. It may just be a conversation starter or it may be a question that tells you you don't want to play with them. You could also just say "old enough to be experienced". :) :)
 
#33
If I remember correctly, Andy West from the Dreggs was passed over for several high profile spots and eventually just said,"screw it" I'm going to develop software. He eventually began playing again but the age thing is real even for the best of players. I can personally care less because I'm the second to the youngest in my cover band and I am 45.
 
#35
Hi

I'm 56, our keyboard/singer/band leader is 62, our drummer is in his 50's and our guitarist is early 30's. Of course we're a blues band, so age is less of a factor. As others have suggested it may depend on the type of music you want to play and whether you're looking at a full or a part time band. Music, IMHO, is the great equalizer. If you can play you'll find people to play with who have similar musical tastes.
 
#37
Our band plays originals; hard rock/heavy rock but not a thrash style at all. I am 43, 3 others are all in their mid to late 30s and the one guitar player is 22. His (new) influences combined with our (old) influences helps create some interesting music (well we think so). He loves playing with us simply because we are all experienced and don't get panicked and bent out of shape over the littlest of things. One comment we hear quite a bit when we play a show with younger bands is how we LOOK like a band whereas the other bands look like some guys hanging out and jamming. We put that down to our experience and being comfortable on stage.

I agree that I would not fit in with a band that was trying to be a snot-nosed punk band but other than that I think you should play with whoever you click with. :)
 
#38
I'm 54. Been learning, practicing, and playing since I was 10. I've played just about every genre of music there is at one time or another but, I still love and play Loud Hard Blues/Rock. I'm in an all original music hard rock band now with bass, guitar,and drums. we are all in the same age bracket and we write and rock harder and better than the young pups. It's not a matter of age discrimination but one of disbelief. The comments we hear a lot from the younger audience is "The old guys kick ass". And I do gig and jam with kids in their 20's like my son. He's the guitarist in a band called Earthless. The music that band plays comes from the influence of my generation, they can't stand the new Pop and Indie grunge rock.
Don't worry about your age. Your passion and attitude should be your only concerns.

Steve
 
#39
I think there are two common themes I'm reading here:

1) age is how you're perceived, not necessarily a number. Confidence, competence, appearance, and reputation will trump the number on your year of high school graduation... but you've got to work harder on all of those four the more you deviate from that "youthful" ideal. If you haven't upped your game since you were sixteen, don't expect to be given the same benefit of the doubt. I totally agree with BassPlayingGirl on her points, you can be Sting or you can be "that old guy" entirely on how you present yourself, the company you keep, and how you handle your axe.

2) Genres have different archetypes associated with them. Some focus on youth, some focus on "life experience," if you're mid-fifties you just might've missed your chance to be in that boy band. In fact, that teenage rebellion punk band might not be the place to look either. It's hard to be convincing that you're against the establishment when you're potentially looking to start cashing in on your 401K or social security. Consider that there are genres where age will be an advantage because it can be more easily tied to "authenticity." College prep kids playing blues tunes doesn't work for me. A lot of "retro" oriented music will benefit from the same "I was there" vibe, especially if that's the age of the audience you're hoping to attract.

There was actually just a frontpage article in one of our local weekly mags here on "Rockin' Baby Boomers" might just be an interesting read for this thread...

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You might not be familiar with some of the local venues but it gives a pretty good review of how things are changing in live music, at least around here...
 

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