I think he is an intelligent, good person and deserves a little help. He is one of those persons I use to deal with at the work place, understanding a simple task but their execution is poor because they are unsure how to start and finish. A simple yet sarcastic yell of "stop running" when you see that person waking slowly would do the trick. Doesn't work with this younger adult, he is still doing things the same. So, I brought up his faults being very careful. A little better but the same. I really don't think there are any medical problems.
What would you say. Does he need some time to figure it all out?
Is sarcasm lost on the young.
Positive encouragement. Study after study has shown that pointing out people's faults does not motivate them for very long or in a good direction...if at all.
The old "abusive father/coach" act doesn't produce good people on the other side. People begin to pick it up and do better when they feel better about themselves.
Think about this: Why would this person want to do anything to make you happy when you only find fault and point it out to him?
Now when he
does to something right (not perfect; just better than before), you point out that you saw him do it better (or right). That will begin to build up and soon you will see a much more positive, motivated person.
I just did a rotation at the juvenile mental hospital last week. Most of those kids had problems with authority, depression, obstinent defiance, and other things...among them was also PTSD. What did much of it stem from ? Abusive parents. Verbal abuse is abuse just as much as physical or sexual abuse. It doesn't have to seem abusive to YOU...it only has to seem abusive to HIM because he's the one being hurt by it. So, you know what the therapy was that we use on these kids? Positive reinforcement. When they behave properly, complete their assigned tasks, control their tempers, etc. It is pointed out and they are congratulated. It works.
Giving someone self-esteem is akin to the old saying "teach a man to fish". Barking at someone to move faster is more like "give a man a fish" in that moment.
I'd bet if you started finding positive things about him and telling him those positive things that you notice, you'll start to see a different, more motivated, happier person. Just be prepared for the side effects. He'll start respecting you more and before you know it, you'll be like a god in his eyes. Then he'll start looking for way to please you.
It says in the Bible that judgement does not bring repentance but mercy does. I think that's a pretty accurate little proverb to follow since it seems to hold true in real life. I think the idea is sound.
Of course, this is all assuming you're his supervisor (I didn't read the entire thread).
If you're not his supervisor, then you should probably just mind your own business and don't let yourself get on a high horse about it.
