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How do you pick?

First figure out what type of sound you want. Then go to the music store and turn the amp up as loud as you need to hear it properly. As long as you are ready to buy I don't think anyone will give you crap for the volume. I myself am never totally satisfied with my own sound. It has been an ongoing process for the past 15 years. It seems like once you get a great sound you will then start thinking of how you can simplify your rig to make it easier to haul.
 
First figure out what type of sound you want. Then go to the music store and turn the amp up as loud as you need to hear it properly. As long as you are ready to buy I don't think anyone will give you crap for the volume. I myself am never totally satisfied with my own sound. It has been an ongoing process for the past 15 years. It seems like once you get a great sound you will then start thinking of how you can simplify your rig to make it easier to haul.

As far as figuring out what sound I want may be the problem. I have been searching for the equipment some of my favorite bassists use, but my only experience with amps was a Carvin Cyclops 600w monster cab.

If I can't try a lot of amps, how do I find MY sound?
 
I live only near bigger music stores that are always pretty noisy. How do you decide what you like, if you can't really hear the sound that is produced by the amp, cabinet or combo?

I would say there is certainly SOME time in which the store is truly not noisy. Ask a salesperson when that time is. Come in at that time, but don't expect a silent store. I suspect 1/2 hour at the end of the day mid-week would be best. I would echo the first response which mentions return policy. A few of the benefits of this is that not only can you use said bass gear for home and practice, but perhaps even for gigs and see how it holds up.
 
The ones we have here do not carry the gear I would want to buy.

Return policy or else you have to take your chances. A third option may be to ask someone (via TB or Craigslist) if you can try out their unit which you also are considering buying.

And I assume some stuff CAN be ordered into the store, somehow, but you may have to pay a restocking fee or something. Maybe. But this may be the price of getting the "good stuff" in which you already thing would be just right for you, but would allow you to confirm it. Sometimes a fee is worth that much. Sometimes not. And think if you didn't have that option at all?
 
Turn it up and test it out.

I'd say this isn't a totally bad idea, though it's not the ONLY thing you should do. If nothing else, such din of "noise" should allow you to turn it up for a few moments to levels roughly equal to gig ones to see how it sounds in relation to other competing frequencies or volumes. Uh, maybe "competing" isn't quite the right word, but you understand...
 
I find research is some of the best, look online to see what looks good, look at reviews and watch clips on youtube, find where you can try one out and do it to it. If it's not available near you, buy it online. if you don't like it, return it. easy.
 
As far as figuring out what sound I want may be the problem. I have been searching for the equipment some of my favorite bassists use, but my only experience with amps was a Carvin Cyclops 600w monster cab.

If I can't try a lot of amps, how do I find MY sound?

First, finding "your" sound is something that has little to do with the gear you use. Many players have a distictive sound, no matter what they're playing through. My advice, get a good name brand amp with more than enough power, and whatever you do, don't skimp on the speakers. Many young players fail to understand that bass speakers are a huge part of your tone, and an even bigger part of your loudness. A cheap amp through a quality speaker cab will sound good, where a great amp through crappy, cheap speakers, will always sound crappy. One more thing, try and have fun in buying process.
 
Many young players fail to understand that bass speakers are a huge part of your tone, and an even bigger part of your loudness.

The sad thing is I am not young in experience, 28 and have been playing bass since third grade. I just never have been a gear head, and for a very long time use the aformentioned Carvin, which suited my needs I thought. But I was using it in smaller jazz bands and had the eq set for thumpy 'upright' like sounds.

If I were to want to mimic anything it would be a sound from blues music.
 
My advice would be to call around and ask your musician friends what a good store would be that carried a lot of higher-end equipment. You may have to drive two hours or so to get there, but if you're looking to buy a serious rig, it will be worth it. Call the store, tell them that you're a serious buyer, and ask them when the best time would be to try out some rigs without a bunch of people around making noise.
 
Wait until local schools start up - go around 11am or earlier and BAM! It's pretty quiet. No annoying metal heads. Sometimes between 1pm and 2pm is dead quiet too.

Return policies are really helpful too. Try all of the bass rigs you can in the SAME place each time. If you bring it home, try it in the same room. All rooms differ in acoustic response. Example - my Mesa 410's sound utterly quiet in a room with carpet and a low drop ceiling, but usually sound crazy loud on the Chicago bar stages.

Getting the tone you want truly starts with your technique/hands first. There are many different tone combinations with any bass depending on where you pluck the strings, if you use a pick and so on.