My main band had what I considered to be an excellent drummer. He had an ear for listening to what I was playing as the bass player, but also knew who to follow in the song, which sometimes, wasn't me. Great dynamics with also an ability to suspend his belief in timing for instances that called for it, then snap back in. He was full of helpful advice for the rest of us (he also played guitar and bass) and also able to take advice from the rest of us if we needed him to do something that he didn't think about or didn't want to do. Now that he's gone, he's a lot like that "girlfriend that got away". He left my band to start a Magic the Gathering shop. Feel free to add your favorite "face palm" here.