It's easier to be introverted and learn the art of sincerely getting folks to talk about themselves.
The unfortunate thing is music is a networking industry... Unfortunately this is the way it is....
+1
These were some of the other things I was going to write about in my earlier post, but didn't want to get long winded. Since you say your problem isn't with the stage, but with dealing with people, I'll add to what I said...
Again, I didn't excel with the people skills. But it got much, much better over time. What helped me a lot was reading, and changing some of the things inside my head. Which meant practicing and applying what I read. There are tons of great books out on relating well with others, one (badly titled book) is How to Win Friends and Influence People. It's a much better book than the title suggests, and I think it's an excellent starting point for the skills you're looking for. Along similar but not exactly the same lines are books like Norman Vincent Peale's Power of Positive Thinking. Some of the comments you've made in your posts leads me to think you might benefit from that too. Or whatever works for you.
The other thing I wanted to say is that I remember distincly, seeing a band I liked that was doing excellently in the local scene. I had seen them a bunch of times on stage, they were great and I envied them, not so much for what they did on stage, but for their ability to mingle with their fans afterwars. They always had big smiles on their faces and looked super confident. I wanted that badly, but didn't have it. Had no desire whatsoever after doing a show to do anything but hide in a corner, or head home. That's something else that changed as soon as I was in a band that was happening. The Nerve started taking off for a short while, and those skills I envied just followed. And a lot of it stuck. Like I magically became the person I wanted to be. Great if you able to do that from the start, but if you can't it's not the be all and end all. And there's hope that it can come in the future.
Introverted people are usually more sensitive than extroverts. Like with the stage stuff, this can be plus and not a minus. Putting that sensitivity into working with people to keep them happy in a band or work situation can go a long way. And it doesn't mean you have to be a people pleaser.
Last note in this is that I found a lot of my, and I'm pretty sure most peole's introverted crap comes from being self conscious. Some people aren't for reasons I don't know, but I was born with a double dose. Best way out of that for me is to think what I can bring to a situation, as opposed to what I can get out of it. I use that on stage, in rehearsals, and in most of what I do these days. Or at least I try my best to bring it. Simplest way I've heard it put goes along with the prayer thing. I tell myself that my purpose is to "bless, not impress". I ask for the power to be able to live that too.
