how to handle a jeering crowd

[fender_funk_man]

I like to give the heckler thirty seconds, at which point I also have the guitar player noodle incessantly through the hecklers spouting and then launch into the next tune

 

[Thankful birds]

The famous Steve Albini retort:

Heckler: "Why do you suck so much?"

Albini: "Because your mom's busy."

 

[BassistFreak416]

just play Freebird. that usually satisfies them for awhile

 

[Gearhead43]

Hey there I never had this happen but I would like to know if it ever happened how to handle a crowd who is displeased with you

Try not to suck in the first place?

 

[Yodhan]

I just turn up the feed in my in ears, turn the gain up a hair on my amp and rock out until the set is done. Just because someone in the crowd doesn't want to hear me doesn't mean that I should skimp on my performance because there is probably someone out there who is having a good time.

 

[WickedPissah]

What did The Sex Pistols do....

Bollocks to everything?

 

[BobWestbrook]

Play in church. We've not yet been heckled there.

 

[gruda]

Play in church. We've not yet been heckled there.

i have once.....

 

[ForestThump]

When playing biker bars we usually opened the set with a really over the top version of "Born to be Wild"
After that we could play our own brand of weirdness and it would go well because we had "cred".

 

[walterw]

Pick out someone right in front of the stage and hit them on top of their head with your bass as if you were splitting wood with an axe. If you really put some heart into it you will probably kill him, after that everyone else should pretty much fall in line.

now that's a sig!

 

[THRILLSEEKER]

Play in church. We've not yet been heckled there.

My old band played a youth event and one of the kids was telling us we sucked before we even played, because we told him we were a metal band and that we didn't sound like Slipknot. Shortly afterwards that kids mother, yes, mother, was following my friend (guitar player) and I around and losing her mind at us because we were wearing tight pants. Good grief.

 

[JonathanD]

One guy told us as we got on stage(before we played) that he was going to boo us. It was a good time. Then another hick tried to take the mic away from my wife. He was thoroughly belittled with such comments as "Were you not breast dead as a child?"

Go Crazy. People are scared of crazy people. Be the craziest person there.

 

[troy mcclure]

I have used the line " I don't come to 7-11 and knock the mop out of your hand" to a guy who would stop yelling freebird ata redneck bar.... luckily he and everyone at his table laughed...

 

[dropbass]

hey! i dont jump on the bed when your moms working.....

 

[steveksux]

Play louder, faster, and spit more beer on them.

You know what they say... its the beer you DON'T spit that seperates the pros from the rest of us...

Or was it the notes you don't play???? Forget now...

Randy

 

[steveksux]

Yeah, dosen't that suck?
All of that work to prepare for the show and two thirds of the people there are either talking, at the bar, or emptying their bladder.

And 10% doing all three simultaneously.

Randy

 

[Steve]

" I don't come to 7-11 and knock the mop out of your hand"

McDonalds and knock the paper hat off you head...

Massage parlour and steal your lube and gloves...

"What are you? A Mapplethorp painting? Pull the bullwhip out of your @$$ and STF down!

The last one is a little tricky because chances are excellent that the guy you direct it toward will have no idea what you are talking about but several other people in the bar will and they will start laughing. That puts the target on the outside of the joke being laughed at by strangers. That has risk.

 

[steveksux]

One guy heckled us in Quincy, IL. We were on the road, this was a bar instead of the usual hotel lounge. So we had to stay at a "hotel" down the street, above a strip joint. With female impersonators.

Guy was heckling us cause we didn't play "rock and roll". We were top-40 band. I decided to go over on a break, buy him a beer, tell him sorry, we just don't do any of that stuff (freebird, skynyrd, etc).

Suddenly one of the dancers walking in the bar, they had a slow night at the strip club, s(he) decided to stop by to check us out.

I may have mentioned to the guy that "she"'s a stripper down the street, and maybe if he buys her some drinks he'll be able to take "her" home.

Suddenly I'm his best friend, thanks me, I've got to go up and play the last set.... Next thing you know, he's over there, buying drinks, kissing, and eventually walking out the door. Hand in hand. Ain't love grand?

The guys couldn't figure out why I was laughing through the entire set.

At some point in your life, you might think having to listen to a band that won't play "Freebird" sucks. At times like that, you need to go out on a date with a girl that has a bigger johnson than you do to put things back in their proper perspective. Suddenly listening to a band that won't play freebird won't seem like such a big problem anymore...

Helps to do stuff like this on your last night in town, also.
Times like those its best to pack up and leave for the next gig immediately instead of waiting for the next morning to go...
Just sayin'

Randy

 

[Joe Black]

Turn all your amps up as loud as they'll go and do your best SONIC YOUTH impression. For half an hour.

Once the bar is completely cleared, you guys will be able to load right out unmolested!

 

[LiquidMidnight]

When I saw James Brown in Denver, he had one of his backup vocalists come up and sing a tune. She did Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You" and she totally killed it. But the crowd was still booing her. I guess they weren't into Whitney.

If I were James Brown, I would have been pissed off. That's an incredibly classless thing for the audience to have done.