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How to make it fun...again?

fretlesswonder

fretlesswonder

Jul 26, 2006
1,051
145
New Jersey
#1
I have played bass for the last 19 years, the last meaningful thing I did was in 2000...so the last few years, I played mainly in the basement. I feel more and more disconnected...playing to a drum machine is old and tired. I have no connection to the "scene" and Craigslist is zero for 20, they don't want this 43 year old family guy. Have any of you been here? How do you get out of this rut? I'm just at a dead end. I buy equipment with no purpose, I just don't know what to do.

Open Mic nights? Maybe a Church? My Church doesn't have a modern services, so we have an organ.

Any ideas would help. I have a good technique, but have no image to speak of...
 
#4
Just casual jamming can be a lot of fun and the open mic suggestion is good. Rather than trying to get into a band right away, a few steps in that general direction could be a good idea.

In the meantime, trying new styles of music can be fun and interesting.

FWIW, I'm 45 and last year joined a jazz/fusion band and have been having a blast with it. It can happen.
 
#7
fretlesswonder said:
Open Mic nights? Maybe a Church? My Church doesn't have a modern services, so we have an organ.
Click to expand...


43? Bah! That's nothing. I'm right there with you - age-wise, that is.

So, I was nearly at the same spot about two years ago, except I was brand new in town. I wasn't very inspired and in a rut, musically. I found that the key is to find people that are about the same level of players as you are or (hopefully) better. Where I moved to has an abundance of good players, and, most importantly, a bunch of "jam nights" at bars. This is probably your best bet - most of the guys are about the same age as you and me, and are more or less in the same boat. It takes some time to get to know them, but once you do, you'll surely be getting calls. Hopefully, you'll also be inspired.

I agree that Craigslist is generally a bust, especially if you're a pretty good player. However, I'd still lurk there. Every once in a while, there'll be a good match pop up. I'd also go to the local music stores, maybe even Guitar Center (or whatever corporate version is nearby you). It helps to make some cheap, crappy business cards up that have your phone number and email on them. Don't worry about a website, reverbnation page or a facebook page unless you're looking to get a bit more serious. Personally meeting people at jams or at open mics and giving them a business card is 1000 times more effective then just having a website but no local contacts.

I think your first choice/option should be for jam nights at local bars. They usually have a need for bassists. Try to avoid the jams that are filled with hacks, and find one with some good players that show up. If there's no jam nights around where you live, open mics are good. Also, look into other churches - there's others that have more contemporary music ministries, and they're usually very happy to have you volunteer

If you absolutely hate bars (even when they're dead enough to hold a jam night), then maybe think about taking a class at a local community college in the evenings. Even if it's not directly related to improving your instrument, you'll surely grow as a musician. I took a few classes a couple of years ago, and found that I wasn't the only person my age taking classes there, nor was I the oldest. I ended up collaborating a bit with a couple of students, too.

Good luck!
 
#9
slobake said:
Maybe find a church that does play rock? I play in a small church and we have a great time. No serious ego problems and we love playing together. I'm 60-years-old and our youngest band member is 16-years-old. I like the diversity and different tastes in music, it makes us unique. I'm sure some church would love to have a good bassist.
Click to expand...

You sound like you're describing me!! I'm also playing at church, I'm 60 and I think the youngest member is around 18. All in all it's pretty cool.
 
#10
slobake said:
Maybe find a church that does play rock? I play in a small church and we have a great time. No serious ego problems and we love playing together. I'm 60-years-old and our youngest band member is 16-years-old. I like the diversity and different tastes in music, it makes us unique. I'm sure some church would love to have a good bassist.
Click to expand...

I agree. I've recently started playing at my church and its great. No pressure, lots of fun and a great way to worship!
 
#11
Wow, sorry to hear this. I'm also 43 but am quite busy. I think an open mic situation will introduce you to some others who like to perform. Singer/Songwriter/Guitarist types flock to open mic. Many could probably use a bass player.

0/20 with Craigs List. That's too bad. What troubles are you having? Do you need to work on your audition skills? Give up some details and I'll see if I can help. I have had multiple success with CL along with some time wasted. It can be quite frustrating.
 
#12
I'm not 43 (but i'm closing in on it lol) but I can identify. About 5-6 years ago I wanted music to be fun again after many years of just playing in a band and trying to get past the egos, pressure of playing big shows, selling merch, recording, etc. I went back to what made it fun in the beginning (high school) and that was jamming with friends. I put some feelers out and started jamming with friends who I knew from around the scene and wouldn't you know, i started having FUN again! We were all at the "have fun" stage and past the "we're gonna get famous" BS so it was just something fun to do one night a week.
 
#13
Move to NC. I could put you to work in seconds. My phone rings more than I want it to.

Seriously, have you thought about STARTING a band? You said CL hasn't worked out. Have YOU put up an ad looking for like-minded guys to jam with? Just tell the truth. I'm pretty sure you can't be the only forty-something musician in the area who wants to jam AND see his kids all the time. (By the way, I'm right there with you. 41, two young kids, and a wife I actually LIKE to see and hang out with.)

But even if you guys start a garage band, at least you'll be playing with other musicians. And then you guys can maybe do some partied for friends and family, some benefits, or even some local club dates here and there.

Yes. Church is a great option too. I play with several around here. Not only do I love my family, but I love some Jesus too. And I STILL play too. It's harder to work in the bass. But I manage.
 
#14
Don't call her for weeks on end, and stop driving by her house to see if she's there, this will drive her wild with desire! Oh wait, wrong forum you say?

Jamming with people is probably the key thing and yes find a singer/songwriter or two to befriend can't hurt. Also, if you can find the right situation sitting in can be fun, but don't overdo the sitting in do just enough to keep everyone "entertained" so to speak.
 
#15
I don't see the age as an issue, although in reality it depends on what style of music you are looking to play. If you are into the hard rock or metal scene, yes you are an antique and you will be passed over even though you might be a monster player.

The blues, country, and jazz scenes are full of guys in our age group. And you might be surprised how many just want to get together and jam.

I agree with posting your own ad. What have you got to lose? Be honest and upfront about what you are looking to do. You might be shocked how many other people might be just like you, looking for a way to play but not knowing how to contact people.

Churches are great. I don't play at mine, it's a Catholic church and while they do have musicians playing, it's limited to acoustic guitars and singing. I have thought about getting involved somehow if I could, they could use a bass player who has a good grasp on volume to fit in with the guitarists. But if sounds like you do attend church, maybe talk to the organist about adding some instruments and making the service a little more musical. The rhythm guitarist in my band kept his chops up for years doing just this...playing at church all while his kids were growing up.

You could attend open mics or jam nights. Try to network with other people in the crowd and see if anything gels, or if you meet people who might want to do something more regularly. Personally, I'm not a big open mic guy, I prefer playing in a more structured environment, but the truth is you'll be surrounded by other musicians and you never know who you might hit it off with.

Good luck, don't give up. I'm sure if you look around a little more you'll find people who have the same thoughts you do and who knows what you might be able to stumble upon.
 
#18
Can you describe your ideal group: eg. band line up, style, level of players, set list, location, rehearsals per month, gigs per month/year, venues, holiday breaks, etc.

For me:
4-6 piece jazz band, jazz standards and some pop/soul, intermediate to semi-pro, 20 mins from home, practice fortnightly, gigs at parties/functions/restaurant, Sunday arvo pub gigs,
public and school holidays off.

Keep looking man. It took me 2 yrs and a few false starts to find the perfect band.
 
#19
Put up another Craigslist ad, the one person that contacted me, never even read my ad, it just said bass player, so he sent a message. After I contacted him, he decided to read my ad, I'm was older than the band, they are in late 20's...so he said they were looking for someone their age. SMH.
 
#20
yeah, start your own band with people who are like minded.
Jam nights, yup, gotta do it.
Go out and see some other local live bands, see what they are up to.
Make a demo, get a gig at a local bar, then advertise that you got gigs and need X, Y & Z folks to fill out the sound.
Pound the pavement as they say.

Good Luck!
 

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