I usually don't post personal matters on this board, but I've been pretty down lately and need the TalkBass community's support. I've been really bad-tempered for the last few weeks because of this situation... I was dating a lady that I met on the Internet for close to three months. It was a long distance relationship, so we met in person only once, but the meeting went well. We communicated by phone or email the rest of the time. Things were going great, or so I thought, until a little more than two weekends ago when we were supposed to meet up. She cancelled and didn't offer to reschedule, which was a big red flag. Still, I got to talk to her on that Saturday, and things seemed to be the same as before.
That was the last time I ever spoke to her on the phone. She didn't return my calls or emails for two weeks, which was very odd, given that before that we were calling each other pretty frequently. Last Friday I finally got a one-line email response from her saying that she's been really busy and that a lot of things have been going on in her life. Man, I couldn't believe how darn clichéd that line was. She didn't try to offer a better explanation and didn't have the courtesy to at least call me to tell me this. She also said she hoped I was well... that's equivalent to her saying goodbye.
What bothers me isn't that she's not interested, but that she didn't have the respect or courtesy to tell me that she's not. Why do some women have to do this blow-off and 'hint' sending technique instead of being honest and upfront? This ignoring and avoiding method is my all time pet peeve. Why can't people be open and honest with each other about romantic interest or lack of it?
Anyway, I wasn't planning on writing her an email response, but I spoke to a few close friends over the weekend and they advised me to write her one last email to clear the air and obtain closure, for my sake, not her's. I asked her what was up and what she was thinking, because I didn't want to guess or take a hint. She responded fairly quickly, apologizing and telling me she couldn't handle work, school and a long distance relationship. She really should have just talked to me; I wish she had gotten the courage to tell me on the phone. She really handled this poorly. It hurts, but at least now I know, since not knowing what was going on was the most frustrating part. So it's confirmed - it's over.... and I feel miserable.
Music content: This reminds me of an old Richard Thompson song. The lyrics go:
I MISUNDERSTOOD
The way you care for me, it's so kind
Love to see you again, wish I had more time
She was laughing as she brushed my cheek
Why don't you call me, angel, maybe next week
Promise now, cross your heart and hope to die
CHORUS:
But I misunderstood
But I misunderstood
But I misunderstood
I thought she was saying good luck
She was saying goodbye
Things I try to put shine in her eyes
Wire wheels and shimmering things
Wild nights when the whole world seemed to fly
She said, the thing that's so unique
When we're together we don't have to speak
We'll always be such good friends, you and I
How's that for life imitating art? Thanks for listening.
That was the last time I ever spoke to her on the phone. She didn't return my calls or emails for two weeks, which was very odd, given that before that we were calling each other pretty frequently. Last Friday I finally got a one-line email response from her saying that she's been really busy and that a lot of things have been going on in her life. Man, I couldn't believe how darn clichéd that line was. She didn't try to offer a better explanation and didn't have the courtesy to at least call me to tell me this. She also said she hoped I was well... that's equivalent to her saying goodbye.
What bothers me isn't that she's not interested, but that she didn't have the respect or courtesy to tell me that she's not. Why do some women have to do this blow-off and 'hint' sending technique instead of being honest and upfront? This ignoring and avoiding method is my all time pet peeve. Why can't people be open and honest with each other about romantic interest or lack of it?
Anyway, I wasn't planning on writing her an email response, but I spoke to a few close friends over the weekend and they advised me to write her one last email to clear the air and obtain closure, for my sake, not her's. I asked her what was up and what she was thinking, because I didn't want to guess or take a hint. She responded fairly quickly, apologizing and telling me she couldn't handle work, school and a long distance relationship. She really should have just talked to me; I wish she had gotten the courage to tell me on the phone. She really handled this poorly. It hurts, but at least now I know, since not knowing what was going on was the most frustrating part. So it's confirmed - it's over.... and I feel miserable.
Music content: This reminds me of an old Richard Thompson song. The lyrics go:
I MISUNDERSTOOD
The way you care for me, it's so kind
Love to see you again, wish I had more time
She was laughing as she brushed my cheek
Why don't you call me, angel, maybe next week
Promise now, cross your heart and hope to die
CHORUS:
But I misunderstood
But I misunderstood
But I misunderstood
I thought she was saying good luck
She was saying goodbye
Things I try to put shine in her eyes
Wire wheels and shimmering things
Wild nights when the whole world seemed to fly
She said, the thing that's so unique
When we're together we don't have to speak
We'll always be such good friends, you and I
How's that for life imitating art? Thanks for listening.
