I am bummed...

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Captain Scarlet, Feb 2, 2004.

  1. I usually don't post personal matters on this board, but I've been pretty down lately and need the TalkBass community's support. I've been really bad-tempered for the last few weeks because of this situation... I was dating a lady that I met on the Internet for close to three months. It was a long distance relationship, so we met in person only once, but the meeting went well. We communicated by phone or email the rest of the time. Things were going great, or so I thought, until a little more than two weekends ago when we were supposed to meet up. She cancelled and didn't offer to reschedule, which was a big red flag. Still, I got to talk to her on that Saturday, and things seemed to be the same as before.

    That was the last time I ever spoke to her on the phone. She didn't return my calls or emails for two weeks, which was very odd, given that before that we were calling each other pretty frequently. Last Friday I finally got a one-line email response from her saying that she's been really busy and that a lot of things have been going on in her life. Man, I couldn't believe how darn clichéd that line was. She didn't try to offer a better explanation and didn't have the courtesy to at least call me to tell me this. She also said she hoped I was well... that's equivalent to her saying goodbye.

    What bothers me isn't that she's not interested, but that she didn't have the respect or courtesy to tell me that she's not. Why do some women have to do this blow-off and 'hint' sending technique instead of being honest and upfront? This ignoring and avoiding method is my all time pet peeve. Why can't people be open and honest with each other about romantic interest or lack of it?

    Anyway, I wasn't planning on writing her an email response, but I spoke to a few close friends over the weekend and they advised me to write her one last email to clear the air and obtain closure, for my sake, not her's. I asked her what was up and what she was thinking, because I didn't want to guess or take a hint. She responded fairly quickly, apologizing and telling me she couldn't handle work, school and a long distance relationship. She really should have just talked to me; I wish she had gotten the courage to tell me on the phone. She really handled this poorly. It hurts, but at least now I know, since not knowing what was going on was the most frustrating part. So it's confirmed - it's over.... and I feel miserable.

    Music content: This reminds me of an old Richard Thompson song. The lyrics go:


    The way you care for me, it's so kind
    Love to see you again, wish I had more time
    She was laughing as she brushed my cheek
    Why don't you call me, angel, maybe next week
    Promise now, cross your heart and hope to die

    But I misunderstood
    But I misunderstood
    But I misunderstood
    I thought she was saying good luck
    She was saying goodbye

    Things I try to put shine in her eyes
    Wire wheels and shimmering things
    Wild nights when the whole world seemed to fly
    She said, the thing that's so unique
    When we're together we don't have to speak
    We'll always be such good friends, you and I

    How's that for life imitating art? Thanks for listening.
  2. It's ok. You will get over it.

    I love you anyway even though you cheated on me.
  3. Thor

    Thor Moderator Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Ever heard the song
    'Too many fish in the sea'

    You're in Manhattan, go fishing!
    Plenty of fish in that sea!

    Move on ...
  4. I know. In the grand scheme of things this is minor, but I just needed to vent.
  5. Ty McNeely

    Ty McNeely

    Mar 27, 2000
    Very understandable.

    I hope all goes well in the near-future :)
  6. Thanks. I already have a date for tomorrow night. It's always great to have options...
  7. I hear ya, bro. I've been wondering this myself for years. I'm actually in a similar situation right now, minus the long-distance aspect. I'm just glad she's not my only prospect, or I'd be even more frustrated at this point. Best of luck on the date! :cool:
  8. Richard THompson always helps me go through relationship problems, cuz god knows he's been through more than I have.
  9. Joe Turski

    Joe Turski

    Jul 29, 2003
    What a B....

    Sorry Capt., not everone is straight forward. Some people have a hard time saying it like it is. Sometimes it's just easier to cut all ties and walk away without saying a word. I'm not saying it's right what she did, but, that was the choice she made. Women should come with a handbook, or instructions, or......something!!! Look at the bright side, you now have thicker skin.

    Women, can't live with'em........can't kill'em. ;)
  10. Thanks for the support, everyone. I appreciate it.
  11. hey man, i recently with through a similar situation so i know exactly how you feel right now. theres this girl i am best friends and i started really liking her a while back, and my other friend told me to ask her out and how perfect we'd be together etc, then about two weeks ago he asked her out! yeah it sucked so bad, and it was (and still is) hard to deal with it (specially since we all hang out a lot) but all i can say things will get better with time. i told both of them i wouldnt let it mess up our friendships and we all worked it out. so yeah, it does suck hard right now but eventually it will all work out man. time heals all things!
  12. Same thing happened w/ me...well kind of.

    Except I didn't ask for an explanation. Glad I didn't.
  13. i have sorta the same problem, only different. now is the time to tell it to u...

    i like this guy, alot, who has been dumped by my best friend over 7 times in the last month. he keeps thinking she will come back to him, but now i think its really over. so right now the guy i like, who is also my other best friend and is sorta like a brother to me, is looking for a new girlfriend, for reasons i dont understand.

    we were sitting and talking and then someone said "what about u 2, u would look cute together". he didn't reply negitivly, he just said "i dunno, shes kinda tall" (im a foot taller than him)

    from a strangers pov, do u think i might have a chance with him? we both like the same things (rock, bass, ACDC) and he is really nice and he deserves more than just being dumped every other day.
  14. Tim Cole

    Tim Cole

    Jun 12, 2002
    Findlay, Ohio
    Thus the reason bars were invented.
  15. go for it lil_bass_player, if you dont you'll regret it in the future.

  16. i will, later today. i was going to either way, but i like telling people what i am going to do.

  17. i dont get it, is is a joke?

  18. I agree...Live for today,not tomorrow :D
  19. bingo

    carpe diem my friend!
  20. what if he says yes. we will have nothing to do, because we usually just go to the park and light random things on fire. tho that isn't that bad....