• TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
    Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
    Join free Log in
    Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.

I need help/advice for my band

ImJustDez

ImJustDez

Dec 1, 2012
36
0
New Jersey
m.youtube.com
#1
So, I am starting a band. Have been for a while actually. The genre is around the Post-hardcore/metalcore kinda stuff. We've got a lead guitarist, a rhythm guitarist, bassist (me), drummer, and a vocalist so its a complete band. We can flow together (we've done two covers together just to see how we groove together) and we're pretty good. The time was consistent, no tears in it, everyone got into it, everyone knew what they were doing, it was great. This is from two practices, the second one not being a full one either. We talk about what we'll do and we've written an intro riff to start it off and I've got the lyrics all laid out to then continue but we can't, why? We rarely have practices. It's not like we're all avoiding it on purpose, we WANT practices, but it doesn't happen. The practices are held at my lead guitarist's house because he has a drumset and space to practice in his garage. I ask at the beginning of the week if we will have practices (supposed to be every sunday) and he says yes, but I feel like he waits last minute to ask his parents and when the time comes, it's cancelled.

Before I go on, let me add our ages:
Lead Guitarist: 17
Rhythm Guitarist: 19
Bass (me): turning 16 in a couple of days
Vocals: 20
Drummer: 20

Continuing- this legitimacy bothers me. So why not have the practice somewhere else like the drummers house? I would not be able to go. It would be the rhythm guitarist, vocalist, and drummer instead of the whole band. The reason I wouldn't be able to go is because 1) I am a girl and they are all boys. 2) they're all around 20 while I'm 16. 3) all out if highschool except for me and lead. My parents would not want me going to the drummer's house because she doesn't know him that much and all the factors I just said. I wanted to know, what do you guys think I should do? I kind of need to be in the practice because I'm the one that has it all written down and whatnot. I really want to do this, I worked hard on lyrics and bass and I want to make this happen. We're all good at what we do individually so together we will be great but we can't without practices! Any ideas on what we I can do to try and fix this?

Also, I've talked to the lead guitarist to ask early and he says he asks Thursday/Friday but idk, I feel thats a bit too late? Idk mann, I just want to make it all work.
 
#2
Hi,

Be glad you have parents that love you, take care of you, watch out for you, and want the best for you. Don't worry, you have plenty of time to take lessons, practice, hone your craft, get into a band, and play killer music. No need to force anything.

Take the time to learn your craft and be a real musician, not just a chick bass player. Please don't take any offense but I really feel you need to not worry so much right now about being in a band and concentrate more on being the best bass player you can be. Once you are in college you can really concentrate on music theory and songwriting.

In the meantime, hopefully your parents can be supportive enough to attend your band rehearsals so that you are chaperoned. I have a teenage daughter and I certainly would not want her by herself in a house full of 20-something musicians. :rollno:

Have a serious talk with your parents and see what you can work out. Be mature, be respectful, let them know you are serious, and you'd like to involve them. Show them you want to be a serious musician.

I wish you all the best.


Thank you for your indulgence,

BassCliff
 
#3
well for one, you can just meet everyone without the drumset, and then map your compositions out. after you finalize your parts, the guys would meet up and fix the song with drums ... after which you can all rehearse when there's a gig (with drums this time).

thats how we write. most of my bandmates are in their mid twenties and are often not available at the same time, so i spend time with different members, and just coordinate everything via recorded jams
 
#5
Joe Louvar said:
Hmm. Maybe your parents will allow you and your band mates to play at your house/garage? And it shouldn't take very long to setup drums and etc - and eventually (once you start gigging) it will be routine, so everyone might as well get use to it now.
Click to expand...

this is a good idea, or, if the other members, and families are legit, just have your parents meet theirs. It is really like any situation where you want to go to somebodies house for any reason. Your parents will be more comfortable if they just meet the other adults.

If, as Basscliff already alluded to, your parents are supportive, I don't see why they would be against this. If the other people are shifty, then they have every right to be concerned.

I remember when we formed our first band in HS, we all had to do the same thing. Eventually, all of our parents became friends and still even hang around with each other to this day. On Saturday's we would be in the attic playing, and they (along with other neighbors) would be out in the yard listening and hanging out. The whole 'hood looked forward to the "weekly concert" as they called it. Funny that they all didn't mind hearing Maiden/Slayer/Anthrax/Fates Warning/Queensryche etc blaring from the house.

Just see if they would be comfortable meeting the other parents, especially the ones where you practice
 
#6
BassCliff said:
Hi,

Be glad you have parents that love you, take care of you, watch out for you, and want the best for you. Don't worry, you have plenty of time to take lessons, practice, hone your craft, get into a band, and play killer music. No need to force anything.

Take the time to learn your craft and be a real musician, not just a chick bass player. Please don't take any offense but I really feel you need to not worry so much right now about being in a band and concentrate more on being the best bass player you can be. Once you are in college you can really concentrate on music theory and songwriting.

In the meantime, hopefully your parents can be supportive enough to attend your band rehearsals so that you are chaperoned. I have a teenage daughter and I certainly would not want her by herself in a house full of 20-something musicians. :rollno:

Have a serious talk with your parents and see what you can work out. Be mature, be respectful, let them know you are serious, and you'd like to involve them. Show them you want to be a serious musician.

I wish you all the best.


Thank you for your indulgence,

BassCliff
Click to expand...

Well I'm not there to be a chick bassist. They dont want me for my looks, they want me cause I can play and I'm also one of the "founders" I guess you could say. I'm not trying to rush it, I'm trying to organize it a bit better for it to work (I'm sorry if I sound mean, I dont mean to). The thing is, my parents aren't very supportive of music for me anymore, they tell me that it will bring me nothing in life though I wish to persue it.
 

Latest posts

Top Bottom
Back