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I Still Don’t Feel Fulfilled

I can 100% relate to how you're feeling.

+1 on what someone said about enlisting the services of a CBT therapist if you can afford to. Doesn't need to be forever, even 6-8 sessions can give you an insight into what's getting in the way.

I'll confess I have not read this whole thread, so am not sure if someone has already suggested this but... monster player and teacher Todd Johnson recommends a book called The Practicing Mind by Thomas M. Sterner. It's not long, and I've literally just read the first chapter but it seems to be really good at illuminating issues with the way some of us practice, and how to approach it in a more constructive way. Like focusing on the process rather than product, which is counterintuitive if we're used to chasing grades, money, recognition, etc.
Definitely, I just picked up my Fender mustang p/j and I feel more inspired to play in that and comfortable with short scales
 
"... Wait till you have to do "drop the needle" tests in music literature classes. Wait till you get to your 3rd year theory classes and see the stuff you are expected to sightSING (not read), and the 2-hand piano dictation you will need to be able to successfully figure out on the spot. If you're having a hard time being motivated just to play the bass, you're screwed. That's the only fun part.

Oh god this post is giving me flashbacks from hell...:laugh: