I think I dun goofed...

[Brad Johnson]

I had a dude do that to me a few years back. I was trading him my modded Toby Pro for his Lakland 55-01. I was so excited to get my new-to-me bass but I was extremely PO'd when I opened the box to find my bass. I guess he had a change of heart during the shipping process. I'm cool now but I would have been a whole lot cooler if he called, emailed, or even PM'ed me about it. I got NO reimbursement for the shipping costs either.

I'd say if you do decide to cancel out the trade, make sure HE KNOWS ABOUT IT and at least offer to reimburse shipping costs. This was your decision to back out so it kind of falls on you to take the responsibility for shipping, IMO at least.

That is definitely not the way to do it. Nobody wants a surprise when you open a package. And no reimbursement on top of that is completely lame.

Some people don't want to deal with communications when it's uncomfortable. But that's something that adults have to deal with from time to time.

 

[Selta]

I guess my first post here was a bit harsh. I'd send a PM to test the waters, but realize that you may have "made your bed" so to speak. Let the other person make the actual decision. Offer to reimburse shipping, at the very least.

 

[Infidelity]

If you really like your bass right now.. Buy his bass and tell him you just can't do the trade.

Finding the perfect bass for yourself is much more expensive than buying his bass and resell/keep it. IMO/IME

 

[Angus]

I guess my first post here was a bit harsh.

I don't think so. I think a number of us have stated the most adult way to move forward, but that doesn't mean that his actions weren't "uncool", as you stated. I don't think it was overly harsh.

 

[A-Step-Towards]

Dude its pretty lame to back out , just let it go , you agreed thats how it is. I have said i would sell some things i never had listed , they actually agreed and i realized i didnt want to sell but "a man is only as good as his word" so i let them go.

 

[MultiScaleMale]

Talk to the other party, explain the situation, offer to repay shipping costs and sweeten the deal somehow. Maybe they'll be ok with it. If not, man up and follow through with the deal or ship his bass back and never do another deal on TB.

Break a deal, face the wheel....

 

[Kwesi]

Decision made. Thanks for the help guys.

 

[MultiScaleMale]

Decision made. Thanks for the help guys.

Don't leave us in suspense!!!!

 

[Kwesi]

Don't leave us in suspense!!!!

Haha, as much of a dick move it might be, I will have to ! I didn't really want to turn this into a soapbox. I just wanted opinions on how I should handle the situation.

 

[MultiScaleMale]

Haha, as much of a dick move it might be, I will have to ! I didn't really want to turn this into a soapbox. I just wanted opinions on how I should handle the situation.

I've only had sellers regret once. Sold a Steinberger XM-2 with Bass TransTrem that was my first real bass. Not only did I regret selling it but I had to watch the pics as he routed for different pickups and did other mods to it. I still apologize to Emma. (The name worked with the "M" in XM.)

 

[cheezewiz]

Kind of a dick move to reneg on a trade Kwesi. I was extremely annoyed the one time this happened to me. The trades were already done, pretty sure the other trader had traders remorse, and insisted on a trade back. Of course, the way you work it could change things. In my case, he DEMANDED a trade back, even though there was NO faults with the bass I sent him.

 

[mstott25]

Kind of a dick move to reneg on a trade Kwesi.

Definitely. Unprofessional and discourteous, I'm not even sure why you'd still have the bass if the other member involved already sent his. Nobody likes flakes.

 

[fourstringdrums]

Decision made. Thanks for the help guys.

I think you should let us know otherwise why make the thread?

So, did you redeem yourself or are you still an ass?

 

[rayzak]

So many things in life would be settled much easier with communication. Air your concerns with the other party. I'd bet they'd be very willing to listen and understand your dillema. Sure, they'll be disappointed, but more than likely... understanding.

AND... communicate with your TB brothers n sister's.... what did you decide to do, and did it work out?

 

[madbassplaya]

So many things in life would be settled much easier with communication. Air your concerns with the other party. I'd bet they'd be very willing to listen and understand your dillema. Sure, they'll be disappointed, but more than likely... understanding.

AND... communicate with your TB brothers n sister's.... what did you decide to do, and did it work out?

Thank you!

I don't think a dick move had been made at the time of the original post. Having a change of mind is perfectly natural. If Kwesi had just shipped the bass back without asking or something, then yes, that is a dick move. However, when something like this comes up the best answer is communication. Send the trader a pm and explain what's happening. Apologize for it. Tell him/her you will pay for return shipping and throw something else in for the other party's trouble. If they are not cool with this at all, then yes, you should probably ship your bass and hope they miss theirs. Tbers are usually cool cats.

 

[rayzak]

Thank you!

Tbers are usually cool cats.

+1000
I haven't dealt with the numbers some of you TB'rs have, but every single experience i've had has been exceptional.

Communication is key to any relationship, whether it be temporary while trading basses or being and staying happily married..... and yes, I learned that second example the hard way

 

[Kwesi]

So many things in life would be settled much easier with communication. Air your concerns with the other party. I'd bet they'd be very willing to listen and understand your dillema. Sure, they'll be disappointed, but more than likely... understanding.

AND... communicate with your TB brothers n sister's.... what did you decide to do, and did it work out?

All good points. Firstly, I would never consider going back on a deal without the consent of the other party on TB or anywhere else. That's just not how things should be done. Communication is key in pretty much everything and this is no exception.

Send the trader a pm and explain what's happening. Apologize for it. Tell him/her you will pay for return shipping and throw something else in for the other party's trouble.

This is exactly what I did. I was fully prepared to throw an extra $30-50 on top of whatever it cost to ship his bass to me but he refused to take my money (any of it!) and said it's cool if I keep my bass. I offered again and he basically just said to pay it forward. Obviously, I'll be sending his back as soon as possible. I knew TBers were cool but this guy is something else! That makes two TBers that I owe a beer (or six). The minute I find a cool local brew, consider them boxed and shipped .

 

[TomB]

I've never entered a trade without establishing that both parties need to be happy in the end. I just wouldn't feel right if the person I traded with was not happy with the deal. That goes whether I was the "seller" (one who put instrument on the block first) or the "buyer" (one who responded to "seller's" advert).

If someone backed out on me, I would take my bass back, no problem...especially if they were being cool about the expenses.

What he said ^. Isn't it true that a trade isn't really done until both parties are satisfied with their end of it? After all, prior to each of you holding the items in your respective hands you're both just speculating. If you were unsatisfied with the bass that arrived you'd be within your rights to back out, I'd think.

However, that isn't the case for you this time, and you have to decide if the situation is different because you changed your mind. I'm not sure it is. Trading is inherently just as iffy as buying and selling. ...buyers can change their minds in most transactions as long as they pick up return shipping costs.

I do agree that it's helpful to discuss all of this in advance.

 

[madbassplaya]

All good points. Firstly, I would never consider going back on a deal without the consent of the other party on TB or anywhere else. That's just not how things should be done. Communication is key in pretty much everything and this is no exception.



This is exactly what I did. I was fully prepared to throw an extra $30-50 on top of whatever it cost to ship his bass to me but he refused to take my money (any of it!) and said it's cool if I keep my bass. I offered again and he basically just said to pay it forward. Obviously, I'll be sending his back as soon as possible. I knew TBers were cool but this guy is something else! That makes two TBers that I owe a beer (or six). The minute I find a cool local brew, consider them boxed and shipped .

Good move Kwesi! I'm sorry that so many people wanted to jump the gun and point fingers/call name. I think we see here just how awesome TB can be with the case of your trade and the other party.

Remember people, when you assume you make an...well you know.

 

[GregC]

All good points. Firstly, I would never consider going back on a deal without the consent of the other party on TB or anywhere else. That's just not how things should be done. Communication is key in pretty much everything and this is no exception.



This is exactly what I did. I was fully prepared to throw an extra $30-50 on top of whatever it cost to ship his bass to me but he refused to take my money (any of it!) and said it's cool if I keep my bass. I offered again and he basically just said to pay it forward. Obviously, I'll be sending his back as soon as possible. I knew TBers were cool but this guy is something else! That makes two TBers that I owe a beer (or six). The minute I find a cool local brew, consider them boxed and shipped .

Good deal, Kwesi! I've had nothing but really good experiences with TBers in transactions, but this guy sounds exceptional. Now given your history, this has to be said: You better not put this bass back on the block in two weeks.