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If Mr. Zimmerman had written a song...

Discussion in 'Basses [BG]' started by Mustang Surly, Mar 9, 2018.

  1. Mustang Surly

    Mustang Surly

    Jul 10, 2013
    ...about bass G.A.S., it might've gone something like this:

    "I WANT YOU" (AKA "Ballad of a Bass Fiend") by Bob Dealin'

    The guilty Craigslist seller lies
    The Ebay vendor coughs and sighs
    Talkbass members say that I
    Should refuse you
    Your cracked headstock and neck too thinnish
    They just do not begin t'diminish
    This tale can have no other finish:
    It's SO true:

    I want you, I want you
    I want you so bad
    Honey, I want you

    The vicious lust that comes in waves
    And makes us into auction slaves
    That "one more bass" the junkie craves, it waits for you
    Search results that interrupt
    Me drinkin’ from my coffee cup
    And ask me if I'll open up
    My wallet for you

    I want you, I want you
    I want you so bad
    Honey, I want you

    All my dollars, they’ve gone down
    Savings, I don't tout 'em
    'Cause no fat nest eggs have got "tone"
    So I can do without 'em

    Well, I don't care if it's "buy" or "trade"
    There is a deal that must be made
    She knows that I am not afraid to bid on her
    Today, tomorrow, yesterday
    There's not a bass I wouldn't play
    I really don't know what t'say
    But it doesn’t matter

    I want you, I want you
    I want you so bad
    Honey, I want you

    Now your battered nut is not of bone
    Your bridge saddles they can't intone
    Though they try.
    But I bought you even though he lied
    He really took me for a ride
    I guess I haven't any pride
    And because I . . .

    I want you, I want you
    I want you so bad
    Honey, I want you
    Last edited: Mar 9, 2018
    petrus61 and Oddly like this.
  2. Oddly

    Oddly Unofficial TalkBass Cartographer! Supporting Member

    Jan 17, 2014
    Dublin, Ireland.
  3. Obese Chess

    Obese Chess I'm Your New Dad Supporting Member

    Sep 4, 2005
    Portland, OR
    For some reason when I heard "Mr Zimmerman" I instead thought of George Zimmer, founder and former CEO of Men's Wearhouse.

    You're gonna like the way you sound... I guarantee it.
    Mvilmany likes this.
  4. mikeoso

    mikeoso Acoustic Curmudgeon

    Feb 14, 2014
    eastern Iowa
    Parodies are the lowest form of poetry. I love it.
  5. Mustang Surly

    Mustang Surly

    Jul 10, 2013
    Since I can't be "the highest", I'll take any extreme I can get...

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