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I'm at WIT'S END.

songwriter21

songwriter21

I have an obsession for wood. The musical kind.
Jul 31, 2005
6,786
9,722
Baltimore-ish, MD
#1
Hello All,

So the balancing act between my day job and my band is becoming unbearable. My day job won't bend AT ALL to give my any more time off than my whopping 5 days per year. They won't even let me off without paying me, because we don't even have 10 people in the stupidass company. Also, with my limited education (a crap community college associates from '99), and transportation costs, I really can't find anything more workable with benefits. I'm thinking that I have two options: I can risk it, and go solely off of the band (without benefits), and I could for the next 2 1/2 months, or try to fit it a seasonal full/part-time position (without benefits). The plus side to risking no benefits, is that I'm in good general health, and just have to pay for periodontist visits a few times a year. The band will be going to TN, VA, NY, FL, and other big gigs over the next six months, and I don't know what the hell to do. This band has more of a chance getting signed and going pro than any other I've ever played with, and it's actually a business (1099's, paid by check every two weeks). I'm going crazy with these jerks at my day job, who could care less about me having a life outside of work, as I'm about the only one who does. I'm so sick of this ****, and yet I need to pay my bills, of course.

Guys, ANY help and advice is appreciated. Thank you.
 
#3
There's good reasons behind the stereotypical musician that works at McDonalds, delivers pizza, and/or live at home. Jobs that will work around your gig schedule are rare and generally low paying :( . Reducing your expenses to the bone is step #1. I assume you're in the low 30's - probably the oldest where you still have a shot at "making it" but still one in a thousand even with an awesome band that's already recorded and touring. Better odds than the lottery though :D .
 
#4
I think you're going to find that with RARE exceptions, any business is just that - a BUSINESS. Being considerate of your outside activities is basically not their problem -it's yours.

Keep looking for a more compatible job. And as far as benefits and specifically health benefits, its not just your present general health to consider. You can get get racked up in a car accident or other catastrophe any time.

If you think its tough making a decent living at a regular job long term, its a hell of a lot harder through playing.

However, playing is a lot more enjoyable.
 
#8
To basically address all of you (thanks for the input)-yes, I'm going on 34, am in good shape, am not married, no girlfriend, and no kids. Yes, I'm crazy enough to try this, and if I don't, I'll regret it to that ol' deathbed. Regarding my band and members...it's a country band, with sort of a "Big n Rich" sound, first two albums have been done in Nashville, and none of the guys cause drama, NONE. We all get along like family, even though I'm still fairly new to the organization (NYE of '11). In over sixteen years of playing, this is the first case of this. They are all phenomenal talents, but all very dedicated and genuine. They all have wives and kids, but know how to manage them, and their families know their lifestyles. Hell, our singer's family travels with us, and the wife sings, too. She also handles the financial end.

I think it'd be stupid to pass this up, don't you think? The health care risk is just that...risk with a capital "R". It scares me to death, but sometimes you have to jump the canyon to try to reach the road to happiness at the other side, while risking smashing onto the rocks below.

I'm thinking of looking into something part-time that can maybe have SOME benefits, or a seasonal position of some kind. I do know that the band will have enough shows to last me through mid-Oct, at least, and then after that, it's off to TN, VA, NY, and FL in time.
 
#11
songwriter21 said:
So the balancing act between my day job and my band is becoming unbearable. My day job won't bend AT ALL to give my any more time off than my whopping 5 days per year. They won't even let me off without paying me, because we don't even have 10 people in the stupidass company.
Click to expand...

songwriter21 said:
I'm going crazy with these jerks at my day job, who could care less about me having a life outside of work, as I'm about the only one who does. I'm so sick of this ****, and yet I need to pay my bills, of course.
Click to expand...

I feel your pain. Been there, done that.:atoz:

Look at it this way: Just as there are potential costs to taking too many risks, i.e. being reckless, there are also certain costs - opportunity costs - to being too risk-averse - and not grabbing the brass ring while that opportunity is in your face. :hmm:

There are times when you have to follow your heart - regardless of what your brain says (the brain is not always right). This could very well be that time for you.

I think you're a lot less trapped than you seem to think you are (though a crappy day job with no future can warp your thinking that way). I vote "Go for it"! :)

Cheers,

MM
 
#12
Dare Greatly​
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better.

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement; and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly; so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.

- Theodore Roosevelt (1910) -​
 
#16
I'd go with the band if I were you. No wife or kids yet? You're lucky. If you really dig playing music, you'll have nothing to do with marriage or kids - ever. What if you don't go; they get someone else and make it big; you're home with your day gig that you hate; etc etc....you'll be pissed.
 
#17
Have you ever seen "Anvil-The Story of Anvil"? I'd rather be the guy who tryed and tryed and tryed again, the the other type. You only live once. Crappy jobs are a dime a dozen. You can always move to find a new job.

I did not see if you have a wife or kids. If not, GO! Otherwise, family first. There are other bands.

Good luck!
 
#19
songwriter21 said:
I'm going crazy with these jerks at my day job, who could care less about me having a life outside of work, as I'm about the only one who does. QUOTE]



You are not asking for "a life outside of work", you are asking to take significant time away from one job in order to work another job. And since they don't want to do bend for that, they are "jerks"? So I guess they concealed thier time off policy from you when you were hired? Sprung it on you? Or did you just not ask, and took the job to make the money and the benes, but now that the day job isn't fitting into your dreams of rock stardom, it is their fault?

So my only advice is when you do leave (as it seems like you will) don't let that attitude color your departure. Keep it cordial and professional. Since the vast majority of people who follow their dreams of making it in an original band end up failing, you might need a good reference for another day job when that time comes. Don't take that the wrong way; I'm fine with the advice to "follow your heart"; but just make sure you know your odds of success are slim and you need to keep options open for the future.
Click to expand...
 
#20
The vacation rules have gotten worse and worse, we've lost some employees over the years, the owner has been reluctant to hire more help, and therefore we have to take up the slack, as well as having it much harder to take the vacation days that we choose. It's beyond skull-splitting.

But, yes, I want to be as professional as I can, when it comes to leaving. I'd like to give two weeks, and have my last day be Aug 8th, but I have a show that my band leader needs me to play, as no fill-ins can do it, and he can't cancel, since it would look really bad for the band. Is it worse to have my last day on the 2nd (Thursday), as opposed to the 8th (Wed). Like I said, I'd optimally like to give two weeks, but would three business days make that much difference?

Would it be wise to leave after the 2nd? It's either that, or I stick around until the 8th, but have to fake sick on the 3rd, in order to leave early (I wouldn't want to call off the entire day).

Down to the wire....
 

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