I'm feeling band malaise

[Bassquest]

New challenge will keep you young.

 

[HeavyJazz]

We just play once a week (which ends up being 2x a month really) and have fun doing it. We're all deep in parenting responsibilities and gigging out just isn't fun for us right now. I mean, everyone talks about doing gigs, but the effort just isn't worth it... at least right now.

Gigs are all well and good (the money is nice), but I typically find more joy in collaborating with good players and serving the project at hand - versus entertaining an audience. The studio setting has become more the preference for me as the years roll on.

 

[Parzival]

 

[dbsfgyd1]

TL,DR: Love my band, but no longer really enjoying it and thinking of moving on.

Been playing with the same guys for 15 years. My first band and it was very important to all of us. All of us 60-somethings. We are better than average and get a lot of compliments on our playing and song selection. BL pushes us hard, but results are usually worth it. Prior to Covid we rehearsed weekly and gigged 6 - 8 times a year--a nice amount for us, which provide a good sense of momentum. Since the pandemic, we play out just twice a year. Two of our guys are out of town for extended periods: one goes to FL for the winter, another to New England for the summer. I'm losing the sense that the amount of work prepping for gigs is worth it. We'll learn new songs, and then play them out once. We're prepping for a gig in December, and I'm not enjoying it very much. I think I need to say something after the gig.

In the interim, I've started jamming with some guys about once a week--good hang and zero pressure and tons of fun just getting into grooves. I've also played in a pick-up band of guys from the neighborhood -- three rehearsals and then gig, focusing on simpler tunes that, while not necessarily super challenging to play, really get the audience up and dancing. No muss, no fuss, lots of fun. I feel like my musical priorities are changing.

Anyway, this has got me thinking it might be time to move on from my original band. The juice isn't worth the squeeze. Still, I regret pulling the plug. I'd be fine if they continued with another bassist, but I don't know if they would. I think the only circumstance I'd continue would be to hone songs we already know so that any gigs would just require 3 - 4 rehearsals.

Thanks for reading. Thoughts?

Wow, I could have wrote this myself. I been in a band since 1970. Over the last 10 years averaging about 10 gig a a year, the last 5 to eight. The band is in Pittsburgh, and I live outside of St. Louis. It’s 12 member band so our overhead limits the amount of available gig. My problem isn’t the travel to gigs, it’s the fact that there is little interest in rehearsing.

For the rhythm section and our union horn players that are used to sight reading this isn’t too much of an issue. But for the 4-5 singers singing harmonies it’s a problem. The vocal leads are solid and they think they can get away with it. I talked to our sound man about it and he just chuckled and said we were the only band out there with bad background vocals.

Anyway, at age 71. I’m about done. I don’t mind the drive and the hang is great, but I can’t deal with playing songs I learned in 1970 so we don’t have to practice.

 

[51PRI]

TL,DR: Love my band, but no longer really enjoying it and thinking of moving on.

Been playing with the same guys for 15 years. My first band and it was very important to all of us. All of us 60-somethings. We are better than average and get a lot of compliments on our playing and song selection. BL pushes us hard, but results are usually worth it. Prior to Covid we rehearsed weekly and gigged 6 - 8 times a year--a nice amount for us, which provide a good sense of momentum. Since the pandemic, we play out just twice a year. Two of our guys are out of town for extended periods: one goes to FL for the winter, another to New England for the summer. I'm losing the sense that the amount of work prepping for gigs is worth it. We'll learn new songs, and then play them out once. We're prepping for a gig in December, and I'm not enjoying it very much. I think I need to say something after the gig.

In the interim, I've started jamming with some guys about once a week--good hang and zero pressure and tons of fun just getting into grooves. I've also played in a pick-up band of guys from the neighborhood -- three rehearsals and then gig, focusing on simpler tunes that, while not necessarily super challenging to play, really get the audience up and dancing. No muss, no fuss, lots of fun. I feel like my musical priorities are changing.

Anyway, this has got me thinking it might be time to move on from my original band. The juice isn't worth the squeeze. Still, I regret pulling the plug. I'd be fine if they continued with another bassist, but I don't know if they would. I think the only circumstance I'd continue would be to hone songs we already know so that any gigs would just require 3 - 4 rehearsals.

Thanks for reading. Thoughts?

My thoughts: Stay in all three projects. FIrst off, if you're only playing 6-8 times a year, that's not really a band, and especially if its only twice a year. I'm not sure what it is but I wouldn't call it a band. The other two projects seem to fill a gap for you that needs filling. Like you I enjoy rehearsals and prefer them once a week. It might be different if you're gigging a lot.

 

[edencab]

make sure to have the conversation sooner rather than later so that it is sorted before any early 2025 gigs get booked

 

[brianrost]

I’ve been there myself more than once.

As long as the current band’s rehearsal schedule is pulled way back, there’s no reason to call it quits altogether.

 

[Jefenator]

It's easy to feel bad in these situations. Sometimes you just got to rip the band-aid off.
Just remember: if they're lost without you, you're lost with them.

 

[dune]

Life is short. If you're not digging it, get out. Odds are that you're not the only one feeling the malaise.

 

[Bullitt5135]

What if you cut back on the weekly rehearsals? Once every couple of weeks seems plenty for 6-8 gigs (or less) a year. That would free you up to take on another project. It would also give your old band an opening to audition new bass players on your off weeks.

I have the opposite problem. My cover band had 16 gigs between May and October, and I think we only rehearsed a couple of times – and that was to break-in a sub. While we get pretty tight playing the same 30-ish songs, we tend to abandon the songs that require more frequent rehearsal.

 

[51PRI]

What if you cut back on the weekly rehearsals? Once every couple of weeks seems plenty for 6-8 gigs (or less) a year.....

If I read the op correctly the band that the OP wants to quit is not the band that practices every week.

 

[lokikallas]

I am much happier in a cover band that gigs a few times and month and rehearses only when we are trying out a new batch of songs. (a few times a year) Yes, back in my 20's weekly rehearsals were needed to sharpen up the original bands prog-death-metal scalpel, but the cover bands playing radio hits shouldn't require weekly rehearsals. That's more of a move for guys that just want to jam and hang. (not that there is anything wrong with that) For me the gig is the whole point. Watching a dance floor come to life is way better than hanging in a smelly rehearsal room.

 

[Geddyfleaharris]

You lost me at weekly rehearsals...

Weekly rehearsals for 6 to 8 gigs a year is a pass for me. I assume this is a cover band.

 

[pepj]

Weekly rehearsals for 6 to 8 gigs a year is a pass for me. I assume this is a cover band.

What is the point of the rehearsals.
Either drop down the number of those or increase the number of gigs to justify weekly commitment.

 

[Parzival]

Seriously, I am a graduate of Auburn University. Football is important. We have this culture of malaise right now.

You know who knows malaise, Parzival!

 

[JimmyM]

TL,DR: Love my band, but no longer really enjoying it and thinking of moving on.

Been playing with the same guys for 15 years. My first band and it was very important to all of us. All of us 60-somethings. We are better than average and get a lot of compliments on our playing and song selection. BL pushes us hard, but results are usually worth it. Prior to Covid we rehearsed weekly and gigged 6 - 8 times a year--a nice amount for us, which provide a good sense of momentum. Since the pandemic, we play out just twice a year. Two of our guys are out of town for extended periods: one goes to FL for the winter, another to New England for the summer. I'm losing the sense that the amount of work prepping for gigs is worth it. We'll learn new songs, and then play them out once. We're prepping for a gig in December, and I'm not enjoying it very much. I think I need to say something after the gig.

In the interim, I've started jamming with some guys about once a week--good hang and zero pressure and tons of fun just getting into grooves. I've also played in a pick-up band of guys from the neighborhood -- three rehearsals and then gig, focusing on simpler tunes that, while not necessarily super challenging to play, really get the audience up and dancing. No muss, no fuss, lots of fun. I feel like my musical priorities are changing.

Anyway, this has got me thinking it might be time to move on from my original band. The juice isn't worth the squeeze. Still, I regret pulling the plug. I'd be fine if they continued with another bassist, but I don't know if they would. I think the only circumstance I'd continue would be to hone songs we already know so that any gigs would just require 3 - 4 rehearsals.

Thanks for reading. Thoughts?

If you aren’t feeling it and don’t have much hope that it’s a phase, time to leave and never look back. Life is too short at our age.