I'm getting tired of it.

[olaff421]

The main band I'm in is in the link in my sig. I think we're doing pretty good. We just won a battle of the bands, not that I really cared, I generally hate BotB. We just spent a bunch, relatively speaking, of money and cut a 3 song demo. We're supposedly getting radio play, not just in the local section but during the day, at a fairly large station in KY. I don't know for sure though, we're not in the listening area, and I don't know anyone that is. We've been playing quite a few gigs. Not all of them the best, fullest, or well paying, but that's fine with me. I love to play.

Before this we had a run with bad, lazy, or drugged up lead singers. This is currently our 5th singer. Every time we would pick up momentum something would happen. The guy we have now is amazing. What he lacks in perfect pitch, and a golden voice ha makes up for in the front man, stage presence aspect.

For some reason either the guitar player or drummer are finding excuses not to do anything. Other than shows, we haven't played in about 3 weeks. Even when we do play shows it always seems that someone, if not all but me, complains about HAVING to play shows. We had a big meeting, and all of us said that we wanted to play more shows. Now that it is happening every show is surrounded by a crap cloud of negativity. While we are playing the shows everyone is fine, but up until about 30 min before we play, and usually about 5-6 hours after the b!tching continues.

We usually practice at 7pm on Thurs and Sun nights. I get a message from my drummer at 6:17 tonight saying there was no practice. 43 minutes is not a very good heads up that we aren't getting together. We have a show coming up this week. We were plagued with technical difficulties at out last show. The input jack on my bass started to mess up, same thing with one of the guitarist's guitars. The drummer broke a cymbal stand. The other guitar player DROPPED his tube head off his cab. He hasn't even hooked it up to see if it's working. I feel pretty confident we needed to get together tonight.

After we were done recording our demo the drummer and I had a long talk about getting tired of the songs we were playing. We both agreed we needed to write new stuff. I've had talks with both guitar players and the singer, all coming to the same conclusion, we need to write more stuff. Well that was about 2 and a half months ago. Nothing. Can barely get everyone together to practice what we have written never mind new stuff.

I do not want to quit. But at the same time I do. I'm not saying we're the best band in the world, or even in our area, but I think we have some potential. I'm sick and tired of the lack of dedication to what everyone in the band has said many times it's what we want to do. We don't have silly pipe dreams of becoming Metallica or anything like that. We know the likely hood of that happening. But I, at least, know that the chances of anything happening drop to absolute zero if you don't get out there and do anything.

I don't know, maybe I'm overreacting. Am I the only person that thinks consistent scheduled practices is pretty much a must for an original band?

 

[Smallmouth_Bass]

My advice would be to set up some goals as a band (short and long term) and then agree on how you will set out to achieve them.

The cancellation or re-scheduling of a jam is not the end of the world. Things happen and you need to be flexible to a certain extent. However, if people are canceling jams just because "they don't feel like it" or are too lazy, you might have a problem.

 

[stflbn]

IMHO... if "you love to play" then enjoy that you're in a band and playing.

The bad thing about bands doing originals is that you're tired of the tunes usually before people even hear them. Imagine if you went on tour and got to play them over and over and over and over and over...

Yes, try to write new material, but don't get caught up in the thinking that new material is going to change everthing. As soon as the new material is iron'd out... it's old.


.

 

[Marko 1]

Sounds like a lot of bad things happened all at once, but sometimes, as the saying goes… When it rains it pours.

Considering all you’ve accomplished thus far (more than a lot of Bands), maybe your worst fears are unfounded.

Chill before you do/say something you’ll regret.

Do like Smallmouth Bass suggested and have a meeting; maybe then you’ll feel better.

 

[olaff421]

My advice would be to set up some goals as a band (short and long term) and then agree on how you will set out to achieve them.

The cancellation or re-scheduling of a jam is not the end of the world. Things happen and you need to be flexible to a certain extent. However, if people are canceling jams just because "they don't feel like it" or are too lazy, you might have a problem.

Well the thing is. We have set some goals. We did that sometime last year around Oct-Nov. Very little of what we talked about has been acted upon as a band.

I know the canceling of A jam is not a big deal. We haven't practiced in over a month. I didn't say anything about rescheduling because it never happens. If we don't practice on either of the two nights, we don't practice.

This is not a rant about one practice, but the overall attitude of the band.

 

[Smallmouth_Bass]

Well, maybe you have to have another sit-down to re-evaluate how you guys are doing based on your original set goals. Maybe two jams a week is too much. Maybe you can cut it back to just one, but one that you all actually make it to.

 

[olaff421]

Well, in the last 'meeting' we had we did bring up the option of only one night a week. The guitar player that is canceling most of the time was adamant about having two a week.

About writing new stuff. It's not that I'm tired of what we have. It's that everyone wants to write more, but can never dedicate 4-6 hours a week to get together to even try and write new stuff. It's not so much the material, but the lack of effort.

Yes I play because I love to play. I am thrilled that we have been gigging as much as we have. What I'm sick of is everybody complaining about playing the shows. We had two shows a couple of weeks ago. The above mentioned guitar player, who also said he wants to play more shows, said something like, 'Aww man! We HAVE to play two shows this week?! Who set that up?!'

I'm trying to go about this with a level head, I'm just getting fed up with the mixed messages I'm getting. We want to play, but no one wants to play. We want to take the band to the next level, but no one wants to go to the next level. Etc.

 

[runmikeyrun]

sounds like almost the exact same situation i was in about 6 months ago. We had been getting album distribution in Germany, our split 7" was to be released in the states with a contract for a full length. now we just have to write it... which never happened despite two years of pep talks and band meetings, and every time we'd all agree to practice more, dedicate ourselves to writing new songs and recording another album. We'd be all good for about a month or two and then two months of no practice. It was extremely frustrating to say the least, to have so much opportunity in front of us and that for many different reasons the other two guys couldn't pull it together. Add to that i was driving an hour each way to practice, most of the time to make no progress.

I finally got sick of it and parted ways with the drummer and guitarist. I got new ones who appreciate the progress the band has made. We're all fired up and writing new songs. It's the best i've felt in the band in years.

I beat a dead horse for two years hoping people would change. Well people who don't want to change don't change. I wasted two years on them not being able to pull it together. Most times you can't control other people's priorities, actions, and attitudes. Do what you have to do to survive- if you've got to get rid of some members or leave the band yourself then do it.

 

[invader3k]

Time for a band meeting...you need to organize it, and lay out what trends you've been seeing. Be factual and don't bring up little petty stuff...just something like "Guys, we've been canceling practices quite a bit lately...and we talked about writing more songs, but that was nearly three months ago and now nothing's happening," etc.

I think this is a somewhat common thing, especially with original bands. Everyone wants to get to "the next level" but when you break out of just being a garage band and start to get more gigs, and talk about doing more songs, it starts to become more like a real job and not everyone can handle that. Sometimes it gets scary, or sometimes people re-evaluate their priorities. If you aren't talking with these guys about these issues, you can't find out what's really going on.

You need to make sure everyone is on the same page as far as goals and what they want out of this band...and then make everyone commit to sticking to those goals, whatever they end up being.

 

[silver.burst]

I found that my band had a lot of these problems 2-3 months ago. No one seemed excited to play anymore and we just kinda drifted away from practicing.

What we started doing to kick start our interest was to write but not as a group. Normally most of the songs we had written were done as a band in a jam and structured afterwards. We started trading riffs over email for a while and the next time we practiced we all had parts written from the emailed songs and just started piecing it together in the jam. It seemed to really get everyone back into it because it was something new and exciting again.

its worth a shot anyways.

 

[two fingers]

Time for a band meeting...you need to organize it, and lay out what trends you've been seeing. Be factual and don't bring up little petty stuff...just something like "Guys, we've been canceling practices quite a bit lately...and we talked about writing more songs, but that was nearly three months ago and now nothing's happening," etc.

I think this is a somewhat common thing, especially with original bands. Everyone wants to get to "the next level" but when you break out of just being a garage band and start to get more gigs, and talk about doing more songs, it starts to become more like a real job and not everyone can handle that. Sometimes it gets scary, or sometimes people re-evaluate their priorities. If you aren't talking with these guys about these issues, you can't find out what's really going on.

You need to make sure everyone is on the same page as far as goals and what they want out of this band...and then make everyone commit to sticking to those goals, whatever they end up being.

Listen to this guy. The force is strong in this one. My only other suggestion would be to make the meeting kinda casual. By NO MEANS should it be during/before/after a practice. Go to a pub. Have it at one of your houses. Flip some dogs and burgers. RELAX! Remind them of all of the positive things about the band, and each member, FIRST! Then, instead of making statements, like "You guys need to jump in and put forth some effort!", try questions like "What can WE do to get that fire back that we had when we started this thing?" or "What can I do to help us reach the potential that I KNOW we have?" If that really positive approach doesn't work, THEN you can hit them with the "If we don't do something I'm out." angle. Good luck!!!!

 

[Low Tone]

Listen to this guy. The force is strong in this one. My only other suggestion would be to make the meeting kinda casual. By NO MEANS should it be during/before/after a practice. Go to a pub. Have it at one of your houses. Flip some dogs and burgers. RELAX! Remind them of all of the positive things about the band, and each member, FIRST! Then, instead of making statements, like "You guys need to jump in and put forth some effort!", try questions like "What can WE do to get that fire back that we had when we started this thing?" or "What can I do to help us reach the potential that I KNOW we have?" If that really positive approach doesn't work, THEN you can hit them with the "If we don't do something I'm out." angle. Good luck!!!!

Couldn't agree with this more.
Try the soft approach first.
Then bash 'em in the head if they still don't get it.
I'm at the bashing heads stage with my band.
Seems to be slowly starting to sink in for them

Oh, and I love that quote from your grandmother.

 

[Jim Campbell]

Couldn't agree with this more.
Try the soft approach first.
Then bash 'em in the head if they still don't get it.
I'm at the bashing heads stage with my band.
Seems to be slowly starting to sink in for them

Oh, and I love that quote from your grandmother.

seems that the band has come to the place where the guys have to decide how much commitment they are willing to devote to it....it may be that some dont look forward to the prospect of progress as it may mean travel,giving up day gigs,wife/gf time,more practice time,gear investment etc...

...its time to sit down with the guys that are making the effort and find out where they are.it may be that they too have limits on their level of commitment that they have not yet reached.

if it looks like enough of you are up for it,then the guys that are cutting practice need to be asked point blank,are you coming out or should we be auditioning a new---------.if there is any hesitation start the auditions.........if they are not in high gear now,it is doubtful that it will get better

 

[Krause]

My band went through the same thing you are. We played many shows, toured a bit, opened for many touring bass, recorded 2 albums, and were on a small record labell for a while. Then for the last year or so nothing. Practices being cancelled at the last minute, songs not being writen, everything just going downhill. Here is what we did to get the ball rolling again.

Started a whole new project. Same guys, new name, new band. Kill off the old one and start from scratch. That was 3 months ago, and so far we have 5 new songs. Everyone shows up for practices, and everyone in the band is working hard to get this new project off the ground. Except for our keyboard player, we haven't seen him in about 6 months. He 's telling us that he is just busy, and tells us he will be there at the next practice but doen't show up and won't answer his phone. We told him if he doen't show up this Tuesday he is done.

 

[stflbn]

One focused and prepared practice a week is always better than two or more unattended and unprepared practices.

.

 

[stflbn]

Except for our keyboard player, we haven't seen him in about 6 months. He 's telling us that he is just busy, and tells us he will be there at the next practice but doen't show up and won't answer his phone. We told him if he doen't show up this Tuesday he is done.

6 MONTHS????? 2-3 weeks and it would be time for a change for me.



.

 

[RobertPaulson]

Being in a band is like having 4 girlfriends at the same time, that's not going to change with a new band, if you dig the tunes and want to keep it going, you're going to have to instigate the change from the sound of it.

 

[Blueszilla]

'Aww man! We HAVE to play two shows this week?! Who set that up?!'

Y'see, I just don't get this. You're in a band and you say this? ***? I thought the point was to play shows.



Just say to the guys the same thing you said here, simple enough. It's not that you dislike anyone, just what they're doing (or not doing in this case) that's the problem. If you all are not on the same page, time to find others that can and will be. Can't waste your time, eh? Nothing personal, just band business. Control what you can (yourself) and don't spin your wheels on what you can't (them).

 

[Blueszilla]

One focused and prepared practice a week is always better than two or more unattended and unprepared practices.

.

And this ^^!

 

[olaff421]

Everyone so far has hit the nail on the head of what I'm feeling and have tried so far. We had a meeting awhile back at one of our local haunts and set down song goals. We had all the conversations about commitment. We had all the conversations about wanting to take this band where ever it can. We've done pretty much all the suggestions posted so far. I think that's the problem.

The fact that certain members said 'I want to play more shows!' And then the very same members b!tch about having to play the shows we get absolutely blows my mind. I'm not saying we have to play two practices a week. I was ok with moving to only one if we could still keep the focus and direction. However, the guitar player that was adamant about having two practices a week is one of the main people canceling. Everyone of us has said we want to write more stuff. Yet we can't get together to jam, it's damn near impossible to get the drummer to focus and or stop playing while we are trying to figure out riffs. I would have no problem if he was being constructive, but he just keeps playing. He says it sounds like we're just messing around instead of figuring things out.

One of the reasons I posted this on here was to kind of think about how to move forward. Not only for the band, but for me. I only talked directly to one of the members yesterday when I found out practice was canceled (yet again, only 20 min before we were supposed to be there!) and I have yet to hear from anyone today. If I had talked to either the guitar player or drummer, which I'm sure were the ones that cancelled it I probably would have flown off the handle. I'm still pissed, but I'm a little more level headed now.

The fact that this isn't the first time crap like this has happened is really what bothers me. I also don't think it would bother me so much if things weren't going really well for us right now. I talked to my wife last night and she put out the 'what if this was a job' analogy. If this was a 9-5 job, I would be the only member that wasn't fired by management. Seriously, a month of canceled practices?

I'm going to see what happens this week. If we miss another practice, I'm going to ask a few questions. I'm also going to tell them that I'm going to stop planning to come to practices, and if they want to get together, they give me two days notice.

Thanks for helping me calm down about this. I have pretty much, with full support of my awesome wife, have decided I want to be a musician. She has the well paying, responsible job, and I have the crappy pay but killer hours day job so I can do this. I'm not expecting to play sold out arena tours, it would be awesome, but I do want to play music. Right now this is what I want to do. I'm starting to get the feeling the other guys in my band have gone away from what we started this band for.