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I'm looking for some reassurance

#21
Buy any large purchases before the wedding, that way she won't get half the value of them in the divorce for "marital assets"

Just kidding!

I'm divorced, 36, and in a relationship with a 25 year old. Go me! haha. But anyways... if you're compatible then who cares. Age is only a state of mind. I date younger women because I feel young and do things that 20 somethings do, not things girls my age do (booooring! lol)

Marriage is a very big commitment, and if something goes wrong down the road things can be real bad. I was ruined financially and emotionally by my divorce- lost everything except my cats, bass gear and motorcycles. What I'm trying to say is talk to her about a prenup, it's not you being a jerk it's so both of you are protected in case of something like infidelity and a divorce is the only option. That way someone doesn't get caught cheating and still get the kids, half the retirement, etc.
 
#22
Hey I'm YOU only a few years ahead. I got married at 38 to a younger woman. Had my first kid at 39. Now I'm 41 and we have two. It's AMAZING! Don't look back. And don't worry about it. Life CAN begin at 40. Cheers and congrats! Enjoy the ride my friend!
 
#26
Don't worry, everything will be okay, it's never too late to start something and you shouldn't be scared of anything, if you like her and she likes you, thats it!
My girlfriend is more than 10 years old then me and we do just fine, just like the other guy said age is a state of mind! relax everythings gonna turn out okay!

Best of luck, and happy new year!
 
#28
!!Congratulations!!
I too have an age-spread family..My wife is ten years younger than me,my daughter(from first marriage)is ten years younger than my wife,my father-in-law is ten years older than me,and the mother-in-law is ten years older than that..Somehow,I was the only one weirded-out by the age thing..

The best advice I can offer would be to choose your battles carefully,it ain't always about right or wrong..In the end,a happy wife= a happy life!!
 
#29
I really didn't want to turn this thread into a wedding forum :hiding: but we have a wedding party problem we would like some opinions on:

My fiancee has a twin sister (let's call her Jane) and an older brother (let's call him Larry). Jane is already married (to James) and has a 1.5yr old daughter. She is going to be our flower girl. Larry on the other hand, was engaged to HIS fiancee (Mary) long before we were ever together and have a soon-to-be-2yr old son. Our ring bearer.

Still following so far?

For my side of the wedding party, I will have my old school mate as my best man, her brother Larry (we've been working together for the last few years and have become good friends) and another buddy of mine, a guitar player that introduced me to a new circle of friends including my current band leader. Simple, done and done.

Her side of attendants are where the problems arise. Her maid of honour is going to be a close family friend. This friend was previously seen in Jane's wedding party as well. Here's where things go a little off...

During my fiancee's last couple of years when her health prevented her from working, her sister Jane played a big part in both her recovery, and lending us a hand through the rough times. Because my fiancee doesn't drive, Jane made the trek across town and picked her up for appointments, interviews, etc. All with her young daughter in tow. She even helped us out financially when she was able to.

Larry and his fiancee , on the other hand, offered little more than the occasional encouraging phone call. It seemed that after the birth of their son, Mary has taken charge and given Larry nothing but a figurehead role of the family. That's a separate story that I won't go into here.

After the maid of honour, my fiancee is going to have her sister Jane and another close family friend (Cindy) round out her side of the party.

Our idea (to avoid family conflict) was to have both the flower girl (and James) and ring bearer (with Mary) escorted up the line with their respective parent. That way, the family members not directly in the wedding party are still involved with the ceremony.

Does that sound fair?
 
#31
funkingroovin said:
That sounds like a thoughtful and considerate solution to me..
Click to expand...

+1

Sounds like you are going WAY out of your way to be good to others. But in the end, it's YOUR day and not theirs. So if your very generous offer doesn't fly, get married and have your day without worrying too much about keeping every single other person who could possibly be offended in some big or small way happy. Because you can't. Good luck!
 
#32
two fingers said:
+1

Sounds like you are going WAY out of your way to be good to others. But in the end, it's YOUR day and not theirs. So if your very generous offer doesn't fly, get married and have your day without worrying too much about keeping every single other person who could possibly be offended in some big or small way happy. Because you can't. Good luck!
Click to expand...

This ^

BTW - Congrats on the upcoming wedding. I wish you and your lady a life filled with love, laughter, and patience.
 
#34
The best advice I've seen thus far is "It's your wedding." You'll NEVER please everyone and might possibly make changes for people that in the end you'll wish were never invited.

If you are in the right relationship with the right person, everything else is gravy. Despite what you might think, many of us married folks with kids or without are very happy, don't have any stress in our relationships and don't have to ask permission to do or buy anything.
 

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